Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

No OP - just no

Which visas are you both on that allow you to split your time?

I’m sure it’s already been said, but I used to work in immigration law and we had a term for this; we called them MMIDs.

My Mohammed Is Different.

To be clear, their Mohammed was rarely different.

You're 29 and he asked your dad if he could take you out? That's a massive red flag right there

Great thread OP - I didn’t see that plot twist coming.

I’ve got three friends who are/were in cross-cultural marriages and all of them met in similar holiday circumstances to you. Only one of the marriages worked out (20+ years) and the other two have now sadly ended in divorce. I think the 20+ year relationship has worked because they had a very wise priest in their lives who’d seen a lot of similar relationships. He advised them to take things slowly and to be really honest about their values and their expectations from a marriage. Obviously not everyone has wise people around them and the worst thing anyone can do is believe that ‘love conquers all’. It doesn’t.

Some of these holiday romance relationships do work out but acting cautiously is a good thing! I’m really glad you’ve got your happy ending though. He sounds lovely.

Was it tell everyone about your beautiful romance or to catch out the racists?

Just to clarify.

Did he complete a UK 3 year degree?

Is he working for a Turkish accountancy firm or one in the UK?

This is a red flag. Why would he ask an adult woman’s parents!!!!!!!! Awful and no for this alone. Don’t do it!!

Even with your update, this is not about racism. It's people being pragmatic about how a woman who is planning her marriage before she's been on a date is highly vulnerable.

Most dating doesn't turn into a relationship, even without a huge distance. He had various red flags about him - he used his job as a way to pick up women. He asked your parents for permission in a way that was performative only - because if he'd genuinely been asking for permission, he'd have respected your father's answer.

You got lucky. For now.

have you written to Take a Break, they pay

theoneortwo · Today 08:13

Probably time to come clean here.. ‼️
Im currently sitting having breakfast with this very man -my husband - the love of my life who I did in fact meet in these exact circumstances.
Daughter number 1 is asleep upstairs and baby 2 cooking away nicely!🤰
After meeting 3 years ago (I was 29) we made it work. We went for the dinner my dad said no to, had the most gorgeous week together and I flew back out 2 weeks after to spend another fortnight. We did long distance for a year.
For us, it was love at first sight and he has made me the happiest woman in the world. He works hard, got a degree and is now working in an accountancy firm. He provides for us, and I couldn’t wish for more.
He purchased our villa in Turkey and we live 1/2 the year in the sunshine and the other half in the UK.
We were talking through our early days last night and wanted to get the general consensus as to the thoughts of other people - and clearly the majority are just as we thought - categorising people that aren’t British into stereotypes and words of racism left right and center.
PS. My dad literally adores him - he’s like the son my dad never had. 👏🏼
So. Yes, we made this work despite the judgement we got from almost all of the people in our lives.
And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.
I guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did.
I was called naive, stupid, a sl** even - all for falling in love with a man that calls a diferent country home.
He was accused of wanting a passport, my money..
A word of advice from me - go for the dinner, get to know them. You never know. It could be the most incredible journey you ever take

Is it still respectful in his culture if he takes you out regardless of the fact your dad said no?

An aunt went on holiday to Turkey 25 years ago and had a holiday romance, all these years later they are married with children and live in Turkey

Ive never been in a Casino before, but thought about putting all my savings on red 7 on the roulette wheel. Some people advised go for it but be prepared to lose, others advised me not to because of the obvious inherent risks. Well , I did and won and now I'm loaded! so this proves....

Well, he also managed to do a degree and get a job with an accountancy firm in that time.

Before posting, read ALL by the OP.

She's wound everyone up by starting her post as her life was 3 years ago and now says (in real time) they are married with a child.

Oh actually more like 40th.

OP how do you both manage with visas and work if you are indeed splitting your time between two countries?

@theoneortwo I've reported this thread. If it is true and your first post was 'backdated' 3 years ago, you've just had fun winding everyone up.

Or none of it is true.

Watch Shirley Valentine. This is a pattern with men in holiday places.

He'll have polished his routine with a succession of women ready for romance with a built in end date when they go home.

You're next. Go in knowing that, if you decide to go.

Because as soon as you go home there'll be another fresh off the plane. Next.

Don't give him presents, money or your home address.