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Original poster

Can’t stop this affair

381 replies

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:32

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 29/08/2025 21:06

I'm not going to be nasty to you because I don't know you and it wouldnt help. But I despise women that knowingly have affairs with married men. My DH of 25 years ago left me for a woman he had been having an affair with that he was at university with 2 years ago. Completely out of the blue. I fell apart and thank god I've got my 3 boys . I will never forgive either of them for completely destroying my life and the future I thought I had.

Didimum · 29/08/2025 21:06

What struck me most about your post, OP, was the complete focus on why he can’t leave his family for you (that’s bullshit though), and what you deserve.

In your quest for betterment, do you ever think about what his partner and children deserve? Does he think about what they deserve?

Any man that can cheat on his partner and children, especially when she is caring for a severely ill and disabled child is quite literally the scum of the earth.

How that doesn’t leave you completely cold and shrivelled I have no idea.

BettysRoasties · 29/08/2025 21:05

You knowingly decide to make a mums
life harder. Every bit of attention that comes your way doesn’t go to helping her support their child the very one he claims he cannot leave because of.

Honestly though you won’t have been the first and you won’t be the last. Men like him as the saying goes cheat with easier not better.

Also if his happy enough to lie to his wife what makes you think any of his stories are the truth. Cheaters who “can’t” leave don’t want to leave they want fun on the side only.

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 21:05

This reply has been deleted

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👍

PinkFlloyd · 29/08/2025 21:05

Fucking hell, how low that you cheat with a man who is doing that to his wife and disabled DC. You actually do deserve each other, but you're nothing more than a shag to him so that won't ever happen. Anyone can leave. Is this how you dreamed your happily ever after would turn out?

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 21:04

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 21:03

Best ignore the goady attention seeking baiters who get off on getting a reaction.

Show quote history

Yes, that’s what it is. There are so many varieties of goad, goad love him.

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 21:04

ItsHellOrHighwater · 29/08/2025 21:03

All sorted in an hour from first posting. 🤔

It’s a not yet Christmas miracle I tell ye

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IheartMCR · 29/08/2025 21:04

Oh fuck me. I was doing this age 20. With a man who couldn’t leave his disabled child.

Turns out, the child wasn’t disabled, he was a lying cunt.

Walk away.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 21:04

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 21:02

But that’s exactly what you are doing. Derailing the thread with your swearing obsession. Wind your neck in, people’s lives are destroyed by shit like this. If you haven’t experienced it then you have no idea and are in no place to judge.

Show quote history

Exactly.

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 21:03

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 21:02

But that’s exactly what you are doing. Derailing the thread with your swearing obsession. Wind your neck in, people’s lives are destroyed by shit like this. If you haven’t experienced it then you have no idea and are in no place to judge.

Show quote history

Best ignore the goady attention seeking baiters who get off on getting a reaction.

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 21:03

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:02

No I’ve never cheated on my spouse. I’m hoping you’re still not with the cheating husband.

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Then you have absolutely no idea

ItsHellOrHighwater · 29/08/2025 21:03

All sorted in an hour from first posting. 🤔

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:02

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:57

Never been through it have you ?

Show quote history

No I’ve never cheated on my spouse. I’m hoping you’re still not with the cheating husband.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 21:02

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:00

Never claimed to be the thread police did I? Calling out vulgar behaviour is exactly what I did. It seems these adults can’t even conduct themselves properly online, I can’t even imagine how they act in real life. Classless.

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Oh I dunno, I guess they screw around with married men? Or maybe not.

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 21:02

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:00

Never claimed to be the thread police did I? Calling out vulgar behaviour is exactly what I did. It seems these adults can’t even conduct themselves properly online, I can’t even imagine how they act in real life. Classless.

Show quote history

But that’s exactly what you are doing. Derailing the thread with your swearing obsession. Wind your neck in, people’s lives are destroyed by shit like this. If you haven’t experienced it then you have no idea and are in no place to judge.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 21:01

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:00

Never claimed to be the thread police did I? Calling out vulgar behaviour is exactly what I did. It seems these adults can’t even conduct themselves properly online, I can’t even imagine how they act in real life. Classless.

Show quote history

That’s all you do though. Do you understand discourse?

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 21:01

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:58

Floating above us, trailing rose petals.

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Clutching those pearls and wafting her rosary while saying hail Mary’s to clear the air of naughty words so as not to offend cheating shaggers

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 21:01

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:59

Up there on their high horse, dictating what people can and can’t post

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Never actually answering polite posts despite them being posted 4 times! Honestly, you have to have a filthy mouth around here to get attention! 😁

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 21:00

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:55

You’re not the thread police, you don’t get to decide what people post

Show quote history

Never claimed to be the thread police did I? Calling out vulgar behaviour is exactly what I did. It seems these adults can’t even conduct themselves properly online, I can’t even imagine how they act in real life. Classless.

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:59

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:58

Floating above us, trailing rose petals.

Show quote history

Up there on their high horse, dictating what people can and can’t post

WaitWhatWhatWait · 29/08/2025 20:59

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:44

But IS he awful? How can he just leave the mother of his disabled child? Knowing his child might not even outlive their parents. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like, for either of them. I know he will never leave her, for this reason. Yet he probably would leave if his circumstances are different.

I’m honestly open to you telling me I’m being a twat and that above opinion is wrong and I’ve got rose tinted glasses on.

I'll try again using OP's own words. I'M QUOTING OP SO IF MN WANT TO DELETE MY POST YOU'LL ALSO HAVE TO DELETE OP'S POST.

But IS he awful? Yes
.... Yet he probably would leave if his circumstances are different. He wouldn't, he'd just have a different excuse.

I’m honestly open to you telling me I’m being a twat OK
...and that above opinion is wrong and I’ve got rose tinted glasses on. It is, and you do.

Bo1978 · 29/08/2025 20:58

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:32

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

You deserve to be taken out?! You deserve absolutely nothing when you are knowingly having an affair with a married man who is also a father. You deserve nothing when you are destroying a family. You deserve nothing when you are knowingly doing this to another woman. I know he is too, but you should NEVER have got involved. I have zero sympathy for you and you deserve nothing.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:58

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:55

You’re not the thread police, you don’t get to decide what people post

Show quote history

Floating above us, trailing rose petals.

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:57

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:56

So by your standards everyone swearing at op is a betrayed spouse? In that case they are misdirecting their anger then.

Show quote history

Never been through it have you ?