Can’t stop this affair

Please don't feel you should be "shown off". You're not an animal. Even the author Dick Francis (as in certainly nor modern/the first person you might consider a feminist) said he hated it when men showed their partners off as if they were possessions.

This. There have been women before you, and there will be women after you.

Also sorry Op but - I'm actually very very NON judgemental about affairs - as in, I think all humans make weak decisions and people fall in love and can't help it.

But your language is sort of horrible - 'show you off' - are you serious? You have specifically chosen to continue a decietful relationship with a man who is pretending to be a committed father and husband. You don't in this situation 'deserve' to come first actually.

If you want a man who puts you first - tell this man that you are going to move on with your life but when he is free and if he is free he can come and find you.

Yes - you do deserve to have a partner who puts you first - but you don't deserve for THIS man to put you first right now.

She’s had an epiphany- in the space of an hour she’s stopped shagging this cheating tosser, blocked him and I suspect she’s now joined a convent

Sing hallelujah- praise the Lord 🙏

Did you finally reply to me! Oh good. Are you going to answer my perfectly reasonable and polite question I asked earlier?

in case you are still reading.

I am the parent of a SEN child, I have given up my job to care for my child.

I would not want my husband to stay with me while having an affair.

If he wants to leave, I'd like him to tell me so I can - myself - make a decision about my own life.

Your man is a piece of shit. He is putting his wife in a revolting position of humiliation. He does not respect her and he does not respect his family life.

If he wanted to - he could say to his wife - I'd like to leave you because im unhappy how can we break up in a way that continues the support you need for our child.

He could - (for example) - go part time and care for the child - he could share all his money but leave, he could get another home and share care.

He has many options. I think the one very specific option that makes him a total piece of shit is having sex outside his marriage while pretending it's to 'be so kind' to his wife.

please op get some therapy and understand this man is not a good person and is using both you and his wife.

So his partner has given up possibly her career to dedicate her entire life to looking after their disabled child. In return he cheats, what a stand up guy

Same

This is a good step. I know many commenters have been blunt. But also, if you want more - to be first in a relationship - you need to be with someone who isn't a cheat.

This situation is not bringing you genuine happiness. The feeling when you're together is only so good because of the contrast with the time when you're apart, waiting to hear from him, wondering what he's up to. The highs and lows are an addiction and you need to stop to be free. You know your future with him is more of the same, and what a waste of your life that is. Obviously it would be easier without the work thing. But it's a day a month, most of which you (should) be working. You're more than capable of controlling yourself and showing some strength of character for a few hours, so just get on with it. Free yourself.

She’ll be fine, got lots of understanding family and friends surrounding her apparently. Maybe she wanted to come to the dark side for a bit.

Whoooisit btw?

Of course you can end it. You're choosing not too.

I suspect we have a sock puppet on the thread. The OP has mysteriously disappeared..👀

"you don't deserve to be hidden away"????
Having an affair with a married man is 🤢. With a family. With a disabled child. My goodness his poor wife.
Not cool.

I'll be honest. I would not be your friend because our standards are too far apart. I would not support you in fucking a married dude.

I think some single men would have difficulty with this to because fucking a married dude with a disabled kid says a lot about your character and you as a person.

Don’t go, just ignore.

Well, you could leave the thread if it affects your delicate sensibilities so much. You aren’t exactly offering much to be fair.

Of course you can stop it, you have free will, you’re not in chains, you choose not to end it, there’s a big difference and it says everything about you that you’ve carried this on, cheaters are the lowest of the low, he’s a pig and you’re complicit

Even if he did leave his wife for you...you.know the old saying....'marry the mistress it leaves a vacancy '
Once a cheat always a cheat

Oh no, not another fucking swearer. The vicar’s going to be exhausted.

Yes I read your husband cheated on you. How are my comments calling out swearing vile? I have every right to call out vulgar behaviour. I respectfully suggest you leave the thread if the contents is too much for you.

And hoping to get sympathy on mumsnet of all places. Sigh.

Still, all is good now. OP has seen the light.