Page 2 | Can’t stop this affair

TwistedWonder · 30/08/2025 09:50

Deepbluesea1 · 30/08/2025 09:45

She is just as much part of it as he is. I never said it's just her fault. Horrible pair!

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Agree. If someone unknowingly enters into an affair because the cheat has lied about their situation then it’s 100% on the liar to blame.

But in scenarios such as this where both parties are fully aware of the fact one or the other is married and think that getting an illicit cheap shag is a priority over having dignity self respect and standards then both parties are grubby as fuck.

To knowingly facilitate potentially fucking up a families life when she has kids herself is repulsive behaviour.

Both parties are morally repugnant and deserve whatever scorn they get.

Deepbluesea1 · 30/08/2025 09:45

IShouldNotCoco · 30/08/2025 09:35

Whilst the woman who gets involved with a married man, knowingly is wrong, I actually think the notion of ‘home wrecker’ should be directed at the man who chooses to wreck his own home. He’ll have an affair - if not with the OP then with someone else.

A lot of men think they are entitled to have the exact life they want, even if it means lying and cheating. They don’t see it as wrong. This is something I have learned through the years.

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She is just as much part of it as he is. I never said it's just her fault. Horrible pair!

Brunettesmorefun · 30/08/2025 09:38

IShouldNotCoco · 30/08/2025 09:35

Whilst the woman who gets involved with a married man, knowingly is wrong, I actually think the notion of ‘home wrecker’ should be directed at the man who chooses to wreck his own home. He’ll have an affair - if not with the OP then with someone else.

A lot of men think they are entitled to have the exact life they want, even if it means lying and cheating. They don’t see it as wrong. This is something I have learned through the years.

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They are both home wreckers and both complicit. I doubt the OP will block him just from reading the replies on here. Horrible pair.

IShouldNotCoco · 30/08/2025 09:35

Deepbluesea1 · 30/08/2025 07:09

I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

don't worry, you won't get and deserve sympathy. What he is doing is wrong on all levels, but you aren't any better. Why on earth are you involved with a married man with a family?

end the 'relationship' or whatever that is If you see him monthly, he is not very much in your life. Resign, find another job. The possibilities are virtually endless.

You are a homewrecker, how do you deserve anything eps being showed off? You are both awful people! do you not have any morals?

Whilst the woman who gets involved with a married man, knowingly is wrong, I actually think the notion of ‘home wrecker’ should be directed at the man who chooses to wreck his own home. He’ll have an affair - if not with the OP then with someone else.

A lot of men think they are entitled to have the exact life they want, even if it means lying and cheating. They don’t see it as wrong. This is something I have learned through the years.

theleafandnotthetree · 30/08/2025 09:33

TragicMuse · 29/08/2025 19:46

You know, you might both be in love. So what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t override everything else. It might feel all-consuming and irresistible but it doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it. You have a choice. You can choose not to shag him. Do that.

Exactly, the AP may well love the OP dearly, they may have made a great couple if both were free and there were no obstacles in the way. But there are and they are pretty insurmountable so the only sane choice is to walk away.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:26

AnnaSunshine · 30/08/2025 09:12

My read from the start felt like she was asking for help to stop. She already knew she was ending it, but was looking for practical advice to ensure that she followed through.

I appreciate I was in the minority from the responses.

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I wonder why the OP didn’t reply to me directly. I mean, your input is your take on the situation, I wanted the OPs.

Diarygirlqueen · 30/08/2025 09:22

Just read some of the threads in relationships, you would never cheat again or go with a married man. Some of the stories live rent free in my head. They would break anyone's heart.

Original poster

HallieConstancex · 30/08/2025 09:20

AnnaSunshine · 30/08/2025 09:12

My read from the start felt like she was asking for help to stop. She already knew she was ending it, but was looking for practical advice to ensure that she followed through.

I appreciate I was in the minority from the responses.

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Exactly this.

I probably didn’t word my original post correctly - I knew I was supposed to be seeing him this weekend but didn’t want too. Suppose I needed the tough love and harsh words, which have worked. The stories some posters have told as well have really cemented the decision, so it was worth the post.

OP posts:

AnnaSunshine · 30/08/2025 09:12

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:10

Ok, I’ve stopped now. 😁

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My read from the start felt like she was asking for help to stop. She already knew she was ending it, but was looking for practical advice to ensure that she followed through.

I appreciate I was in the minority from the responses.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:10

ChineseAlan8910 · 30/08/2025 09:08

'Can't stop this affair, ok I will stop it tomorrow.' 🤣

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Ok, I’ve stopped now. 😁

ChineseAlan8910 · 30/08/2025 09:08

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:07

Why did you post in the first place? Genuine question.

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'Can't stop this affair, ok I will stop it tomorrow.' 🤣

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:07

HallieConstancex · 30/08/2025 08:50

I get the point. Luckily I have thick skin so I won’t sit and cry about all the names I’ve been called.

for extra context because people are assuming, I already have 3 children so not looking for a partner to give me any more - certainly not looking for that with him.

I think that’s what it started as and why it worked, for both of us not just for him. He was someone I could get a quick fix from (which I’m aware was the same for him). After what happened with my children’s father, I never wanted a man around them ever again. And with him, that could never happen (obviously). So the circumstances worked - however as time has gone on and feelings have developed, and YES I do sit and think about his girlfriend and everything she has given up. I’ll be honest, at first I didn’t. I didn’t think about her at all, only him but I do realise now how much she has given up and what an amazing person she actually is.

It’s done now anyway, I was meant to see him tomorrow, i’ve blocked him and it’s over. I don’t think anything else needs to be said on this post - it’s a shame I can’t delete it 🙃

Why did you post in the first place? Genuine question.

ChineseAlan8910 · 30/08/2025 09:02

I don't even get why the child being disabled makes a difference though? Your both still behaving terribly and using that as an excuse for your behavior.

Original poster

HallieConstancex · 30/08/2025 08:50

I get the point. Luckily I have thick skin so I won’t sit and cry about all the names I’ve been called.

for extra context because people are assuming, I already have 3 children so not looking for a partner to give me any more - certainly not looking for that with him.

I think that’s what it started as and why it worked, for both of us not just for him. He was someone I could get a quick fix from (which I’m aware was the same for him). After what happened with my children’s father, I never wanted a man around them ever again. And with him, that could never happen (obviously). So the circumstances worked - however as time has gone on and feelings have developed, and YES I do sit and think about his girlfriend and everything she has given up. I’ll be honest, at first I didn’t. I didn’t think about her at all, only him but I do realise now how much she has given up and what an amazing person she actually is.

It’s done now anyway, I was meant to see him tomorrow, i’ve blocked him and it’s over. I don’t think anything else needs to be said on this post - it’s a shame I can’t delete it 🙃

OP posts:

ChineseAlan8910 · 30/08/2025 08:46

My ex husband had an affair, 4 years then left us for her when I found out. My eldest is in councilling 3 years on, I am seeing a therapist, my middle son is in councilling through school. The impact has ruined my life forever as co-parenting post affair is incredibly difficult.

All worth it though for some good sex though wouldn't you agree? 🙄

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:42

WhyAmISoReal · 30/08/2025 08:40

Which post are you referring to?
You can use the "quote" function if that helps.

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I wonder if the poster is referring to the rest of us?

sourdoughtoastisthebest · 30/08/2025 08:41

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:44

But IS he awful? How can he just leave the mother of his disabled child? Knowing his child might not even outlive their parents. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like, for either of them. I know he will never leave her, for this reason. Yet he probably would leave if his circumstances are different.

I’m honestly open to you telling me I’m being a twat and that above opinion is wrong and I’ve got rose tinted glasses on.

That’s just an excuse. If he wanted to leave the marriage, he could continue to financially and practically support his wife and child. People do it all the time.

He doesn’t want to leave the marriage.

WhyAmISoReal · 30/08/2025 08:40

Wierdyperiody · 30/08/2025 08:33

God. The amount of scorn on this post is horrendous. Human beings are complicated and love and sex are powerful biological drives and needs. Affairs happen; in an ideal world they get nipped in the bud and whatever drove them serves as a lesson.

They are also addictive and the 'can't stop' can be because people are in the grip of addiction. These relationships don't go anywhere good and are destructive and cause distress. The people involved have a responsibility to stop. As is the nature of addiction, harm is done and those involved are powerless over Thier drive to compulsively seek out Thier affair partner. OP please feel free to send a private message and I can give you some advice.

Which post are you referring to?
You can use the "quote" function if that helps.

Wierdyperiody · 30/08/2025 08:33

God. The amount of scorn on this post is horrendous. Human beings are complicated and love and sex are powerful biological drives and needs. Affairs happen; in an ideal world they get nipped in the bud and whatever drove them serves as a lesson.

They are also addictive and the 'can't stop' can be because people are in the grip of addiction. These relationships don't go anywhere good and are destructive and cause distress. The people involved have a responsibility to stop. As is the nature of addiction, harm is done and those involved are powerless over Thier drive to compulsively seek out Thier affair partner. OP please feel free to send a private message and I can give you some advice.

Stifledlife · 30/08/2025 08:26

The brutal truth about men who have long term affairs..

They lie. They lie a lot. They lie so much that it becomes second nature.
If they wanted to leave, they would.
They have a very dubious moral compass (if they have one at all)
Did I mention they lie?

If he left and you got your dream relationship it wouldn't be what you want because the honeymoon would be over - just like that. His ex wife would assume the role that you used to hold because men like this don't know what they want.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Furrylittlesweetpotatoes · 30/08/2025 08:15

@PigletSanders focus is on her because SHE posted not him and not the betrayed wife so it’s on her and HER actions and behaviours.

OldMcDonaldHadABigMac · 30/08/2025 08:14

What awful people both you and him are.

NC9634789 · 30/08/2025 08:14

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 07:44

We by is the focus on this woman by so many posters? Sure, she deserves anger if you were the scorned wife, but more do than the treacherous cunt of a husband?! No.

This post is insane. 🤭

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If it was the betrayed wife posting, everybody would have focused on him.

OP chose to post here, and tried to justify choosing to continue an affair with this married man. That’s why the focus is on her. The only reason she’d be let off the hook would be if she had no agency whatsoever in this situation…but that would be a pretty insulting assumption to make about her.

Luckily the “robust” advice has done the trick, she’s blocked him, and hopefully she’ll think twice before getting involved with a married man again in the future.

ARamblingRoseGarden · 30/08/2025 07:49

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:32

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

People like you make my blood boil. No respect for yourself or anyone

TheCandidQuoter · 30/08/2025 07:47

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 07:44

We by is the focus on this woman by so many posters? Sure, she deserves anger if you were the scorned wife, but more do than the treacherous cunt of a husband?! No.

This post is insane. 🤭

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I did say I would deal with him next and his consequences would be much worse. There both as bad as each other, both have zero thought on the impact on the kids.