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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can’t stop this affair

381 replies

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:32

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

OP posts:
EsmeSusanOgg · 29/08/2025 19:36

You are pretty awful. He is worse. But you are not a good person. But you also lack self respect. If you deserve more, then end this and have a relationship with someone who is not cheating on their wife and the mother of their severely disabled child.

everythingthelighttouches · 29/08/2025 19:35

Leave your job and get a new one.

OrwellianTimes · 29/08/2025 19:35

Of course you can stop it. You just don’t want to because you think this makes you special. You aren’t. You think he loves you. He doesn’t.

End it and find your self respect.

SwedishSayna · 29/08/2025 19:35

Under what circumstances do you have to see him at work every month?

Pickledpoppetpickle · 29/08/2025 19:34

you will get flamed. You know it has to stop. So stop. The rest is just fluff.

rubyslippers · 29/08/2025 19:33

Yes you can stop
find a new job
block him etc
his poor wife and kids