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Original poster

Can’t stop this affair

381 replies

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:32

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

OP posts:
AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 29/08/2025 20:45

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:43

And with a quick conclusion, all at the behest of mumsnet.

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🤣 Absolutely.
I'm all for the power of MN but that is record breakingly quick. Maybe the OP got bored or their mum's told them it's bedtime and the wi-fi's going off.

arcticpandas · 29/08/2025 20:45

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:39

I get the message, I have blocked him.

I hope you realise that he's lying to everyone. Even with a disabled child he could get a divorce without abandoning the child. If there is such a child?

Anyway @HallieConstancex fast forward a couple of years. You're pregnant with a disabled child (could be genetic from his side) and while you have stopped working to care for your child your dh is out fucking affair partners giving them sob stories..
I am a sahm to a disabled child. My DH would never do this to me. I know this because he's got a moral compass, one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He's loyal to his family and friends and basically a decent human being. Could you say that about your love interest? Would you like to live with someone like that? Have his children? Think very hard OP.

SeptaUnellasBell · 29/08/2025 20:45

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:39

I get the message, I have blocked him.

Yeah course you have! You’ve gone from ‘can’t stop won’t stop’ to ‘I’ve blocked him’. Sure thing sugar!

Tangerinenets · 29/08/2025 20:45

Don’t you feel guilty at all? Ffs whilst I’m fully aware he’s the one that’s married so he’s the one who is cheating women like you make me sick. You’re both beyond disgusting.

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:45

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:39

Because using swear words is worse than fucking a married man - right ho

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Both are disgusting and crass.

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:45

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:43

And with a quick conclusion, all at the behest of mumsnet.

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I know! Who would have thunk it eh??!

ClaredeBear · 29/08/2025 20:44

You can stop right now, this minute if you want to. The situation is hugely detrimental to your wellbeing and happiness, let alone anything else. Your self respect will sky rocket once you end this.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:44

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:43

And you’re telling me to grown up? But why can’t you articulate yourself in a less common manner? You’re on your way to getting banned.

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Says the poster with the ban hammer?

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:44

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:41

Peak rage baiting OP.

Well played.

Agreed. Another one in the long line of things that never happened.

And just like that she’s found her dignity because of a few randoms online - what a genuine Epiphany she’s had

AnnaSunshine · 29/08/2025 20:43

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 19:32

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

You are asking here for strength and support. That is a really good first step!

You have been clear with what you want (even though I’m sure you still feel a lot of emotions).

You need to share this with him and ask him to cease contact.

I would also suggest talking to someone. I don’t know if your friends are aware of the situation, but perhaps choose someone that you trust and share your decision to end this with them. This is the accountability. You are telling others.

It is going to be hard. You are ending a relationship where you still have feelings for the other person.

At the same time, you have a relationship with yourself and you want your actions to align with your values.

It is going to be one of those day at a time processes, but you can do this.

Whokilledrogerrabit · 29/08/2025 20:43

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:31

Agree - neither of this scummy pair deserve anything other than a smack in the mouth.

Vile grubby pair of dirt boxes

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Yes, I should have added that. I in no way think he's absolved and think he's just as bad (actually worse) than the OP.

He definitely deserves a boot up the arse when his wife kicks him to the curb.

Itsanewlife · 29/08/2025 20:43

I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and take the moral high ground here. Life is complicated and messy, and sometime folks snatch moments of happiness where they can. However, it is clear this is not going to end well for you. This isn't a situation that is going to make you you feel happy, fulfilled and loved, as I'm sure you deserve, so maybe time to bite the bullet and end this.

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:43

Peculiar23 · 29/08/2025 20:37

Yes, I’m not shagging a man with a disabled child, I said a few naughty words …. Sooo much worse.
grow up

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And you’re telling me to grown up? But why can’t you articulate yourself in a less common manner? You’re on your way to getting banned.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:43

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:41

Peak rage baiting OP.

Well played.

And with a quick conclusion, all at the behest of mumsnet.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:42

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:40

The swearing is uncalled for. Adults should be able to conduct themselves without using vulgarities.

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How about answering my polite questions?

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:41

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:39

Because using swear words is worse than fucking a married man - right ho

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Seems like that poster is more interested in being the vulgarity police than answering polite questions….

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:41

Peak rage baiting OP.

Well played.

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:40

ILoveWhales · 29/08/2025 20:36

💯

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The swearing is uncalled for. Adults should be able to conduct themselves without using vulgarities.

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:39

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:35

But you’re coming across really crass and vulgar. Worse than the op imo.

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Because using swear words is worse than fucking a married man - right ho

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:39

Hmm, looks like a certain poster is ignoring my perfectly valid polite questions.

Original poster
HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:39

I get the message, I have blocked him.

OP posts:
UsernameMcUsername · 29/08/2025 20:38

Franpie · 29/08/2025 20:02

How can he not completely give you the ick?? How can you love and respect a man that whilst his wife is caring for their profoundly disabled child who may actually die during their lifetime, he’s fucking a woman from the office??

I wouldn’t even be able to look at him, let alone touch him.

I don't get this either? The sheer physical ick would be off the scale surely?

Seriously my ex OH cheated on me. I know the Poor Me story he sold to women because I literally read it (the galaxy brain only had one password that he used for everything). It was bollocks. Just run far far away, for your own sake as well as everyone else's.

Letsgoroundagainnow · 29/08/2025 20:37

He’s playing you, stop being an utter fool.

Peculiar23 · 29/08/2025 20:37

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:35

But you’re coming across really crass and vulgar. Worse than the op imo.

Show quote history

Yes, I’m not shagging a man with a disabled child, I said a few naughty words …. Sooo much worse.
grow up

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:36

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:35

But you’re coming across really crass and vulgar. Worse than the op imo.

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Swear words are just as bad as sleeping with a married man?