This isn’t a funny prank is it?

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 2025-08-29T17:26:01+00:00

I’m (f54) really annoyed with my partner (64m). I just called him as he was meant to be back after a couple of hours for a lunchtime drink in town with a bloke from work and that persons friends who I don’t know. Not bothered about him being out later as was just calling to see if he wanted dinner… but someone (who I don’t know) answered the phone and said he’s been taken to hospital. I said “what? Seriously? What’s happened” and he said yeah he’s in hospital. I said you best not be being a dick and he just burst out laughing and passed the phone to my partner who called me back and was annoyed and thinks I’m overreacting. I never call him when he’s out or set any restrictions as he’s an adult but I wanted to check if he wanted dinner making… and as he’s 3 hours late home it gave me a real fright to hear that as I’ve only met the bloke once in passing and I didn’t recognise the voice. My partner is drunk and telling me it was funny and to lighten up.. and have I put my hrt on.. which has made me really annoyed, aibu - Jokes are meant to be funny surely? I also get to decide what makes me laugh and for all he knew I could be calling to tell him a family member was unwell as I never call when he’s out and he knows this.

IOSTT · 30/08/2025 14:41

A drunk man tells his sober truth

Cherrysoup · 30/08/2025 14:27

Boot him out. I’m surprised at his friend’s immaturity and his lack of apology. You appear to be funding him, too.

Hoppinggreen · 30/08/2025 13:25

Very few pranks are funny, the whole point of them is to make someone feel scared/sad/stupid/foolish

SpidersAreShitheads · 30/08/2025 13:24

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 30/08/2025 09:31

He’s woken up and said he wasn’t aware what his mate had said to me and that yes it wasn’t funny now that he knows what was said. But no apology for telling me to grow up. He understands why I was annoyed but tbh it’s just another straw for my back… I now know I can afford this place myself and I feel freer than I have in months with that knowledge. Thank you all again.
ps he transferred the £800 before surfacing - but that’s going into my savings now. I won’t go on holiday with him again. Thankfully I have a week booked with friends in Nov

So let’s assume that he spent the whole night totally unaware of what was said. Hard to believe but let’s just run with that.

When you, the woman that he loves, messaged him clearly very upset, his response was to tell you to grow up? And call you a drama queen? And on the phone to ask if you’d taken your HRT? So he jumped to the conclusion that you were being OTT without checking what was said to you?? 😳 I don’t think speaking to your partner like that is ok in any situation but without finding out what was even said???

Obviously though he very clearly did know what was said. Your text practically spells it out and you told him on the phone. What’s happened is that he’s woken up sober and realised that he’s in the shit and that actually, the “prank” is pretty hard to defend. Last night he was having too much fun to give a shit whether his mate acted like a dick.

Saying those things would be game over for me. It’s a glimpse into how he views you, and it’s not nice.

I’m glad you can remortgage and you’re financially secure. I would be moving in that direction sharpish and he can go and have as many nights with his dickish mates as he wants.

LouH1981 · 30/08/2025 12:32

HoskinsChoice · 29/08/2025 18:36

It's a bit dickish but hardly world ending. I'd be considerably more angry at the HRT comment.

This. The ‘joke’ ended pretty quickly but the HRT comment - no thank you.
Men will never cease to amaze me 😞

CohensDiamondTeeth · 30/08/2025 09:50

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 30/08/2025 09:31

He’s woken up and said he wasn’t aware what his mate had said to me and that yes it wasn’t funny now that he knows what was said. But no apology for telling me to grow up. He understands why I was annoyed but tbh it’s just another straw for my back… I now know I can afford this place myself and I feel freer than I have in months with that knowledge. Thank you all again.
ps he transferred the £800 before surfacing - but that’s going into my savings now. I won’t go on holiday with him again. Thankfully I have a week booked with friends in Nov

Getting the impression that there wasn't really any apology of any sort. He's just realised he has pushed you too far and has scaled himself back ever so slightly, giving you a crumb of validation to tide you over. But he probably doesn't really think his friend did anything wrong, he probably does still find it amusing but can't be honest about it, because then you'd know for sure what a prick he is.

I'm glad you've got your £800, that's one less thing to worry about!

I really hope for your sake you don't let him hang around, get rid of him as quickly as womanly possible, or you'll end up stuck with him!

Honestly if it were me, I'd have had a bag packed for him and he'd have had his marching orders the moment he woke up.

That feeling of being freer than you have been in a long time? That's what it'll be like all the time when you are no longer weighed down by the misery caused by this prick.

Muffsies · 30/08/2025 09:47

He knows exactly what he's done and he's trying to weasel out of accountability without apologising, that's so low. He thinks he can disrespect you and keep the status quo. You know how much regard he has for you now, and it sounds like you've mentally split form this guy because you'd rather keep your self respect.

Original poster

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 30/08/2025 09:31

He’s woken up and said he wasn’t aware what his mate had said to me and that yes it wasn’t funny now that he knows what was said. But no apology for telling me to grow up. He understands why I was annoyed but tbh it’s just another straw for my back… I now know I can afford this place myself and I feel freer than I have in months with that knowledge. Thank you all again.
ps he transferred the £800 before surfacing - but that’s going into my savings now. I won’t go on holiday with him again. Thankfully I have a week booked with friends in Nov

OP posts:

rainbowstardrops · 30/08/2025 09:07

Has the prick surfaced yet @Lifealwaysgetsbetter?

CohensDiamondTeeth · 30/08/2025 09:05

Muffsies · 30/08/2025 09:02

Excellent, sounds like a plan! You don't need to share your plans with ex-DP btw, once you've shown him the door it's none of his business. Similarly, what he does after the split is none of your business either, so if he tries to guilt you or drag you into his problems (which he'll probably tell you are your fault), then simply tell him it's none of your business!

Best of luck! 🙏

Good for you @Lifealwaysgetsbetter!

I completely agree with Muffsies, don't let him emotionally manipulate you.

Muffsies · 30/08/2025 09:02

Excellent, sounds like a plan! You don't need to share your plans with ex-DP btw, once you've shown him the door it's none of his business. Similarly, what he does after the split is none of your business either, so if he tries to guilt you or drag you into his problems (which he'll probably tell you are your fault), then simply tell him it's none of your business!

Best of luck! 🙏

HelpMeUnpickThis · 30/08/2025 09:00

@Lifealwaysgetsbetter

I was going to suggest giving a tiny bit of grace as it was the random friend and they had been drinking.

Until the HRT comment. Hell no - totally unacceptable.

Hope you cooked for yourself only.

Original poster

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 30/08/2025 08:56

I’ve just been on the mortgage website and with my new wage I can now afford to remortgage to borrow a bit more for longer and to get a better deal. Plus I could Airbnb a room occasionally for visitors to the area as that would be a way to make money and the layout of my house means that I can do this easily and still feel safe. I think I’d prefer that. Or look for a female lodger but then they’d probably have their dickhead boyfriend round! 🤣

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CohensDiamondTeeth · 30/08/2025 03:44

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 29/08/2025 22:55

I can get by (just) without his contributions but by financially secure, I mean I have the earning capacity due to a recent promotion to get a mortgage (plus I’m young enough) and I have no bad credit rating. But I don’t have much in terms of savings to be able to put my house on the market right this minute. But that’s not the point of this post. My AIBU was about the prank call.

Show quote history

This will sound harsh but I mean it in a friendly way.

What are you doing with yourself woman? The more you post, the worse he sounds. He's not going to get better, he won't change, and it sounds as though he makes you fucking miserable.

Why on earth are you putting up with this? Get rid of the prick!

If that means you need to get a lodger, get a lodger. You don't necessarily have to get a male lodger.

What do you mean he owes you £800? If it's this months rent and bills he's due to give you, get that out of him asap, then get shot of him straight after!

What a dickhead he is!

kiwiane · 30/08/2025 02:57

He’s showing you who he really is when he’s out with his friends - I’d see if he apologises once he’s sober but be looking ahead to whether I want to be with him or not.

Original poster

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 29/08/2025 22:55

Idontjetwashthefucker · 29/08/2025 22:35

So you cant afford the mortgage without his money but you're financially secure but then you need a few months to get money together. Bit contradictory

I can get by (just) without his contributions but by financially secure, I mean I have the earning capacity due to a recent promotion to get a mortgage (plus I’m young enough) and I have no bad credit rating. But I don’t have much in terms of savings to be able to put my house on the market right this minute. But that’s not the point of this post. My AIBU was about the prank call.

OP posts:

Idontjetwashthefucker · 29/08/2025 22:35

So you cant afford the mortgage without his money but you're financially secure but then you need a few months to get money together. Bit contradictory

TootSweeties · 29/08/2025 22:10

“I’ve been thinking and maybe it would have been useful to be admitted to hospital as you’d have somewhere to stay 🤣”

Oh this made me laugh OP but I know it’s not funny! Not in the slightest. What an absolute prick. I hope he’s feeling rough over the weekend and can reflect on his cuntish behaviour.

Original poster

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 29/08/2025 22:07

I’ve blocked him on WhatsApp and iPhone. I don’t want any comms from him. I’m going to bed soon. Thanks everyone x

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Original poster

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 29/08/2025 21:54

SeaUrchinHat · 29/08/2025 21:47

God do they EVER grow up?

The HRT comment: presumably you’re going to point out to him that was completely unacceptable?

There’s absolutely no point. I know it’s not anything to do with hrt but he will keep defending himself. And I’ve decided to disengage. I had issues with severe depression for a couple of weeks post - hysterectomy but I know I’m not depressed now. He’s more likely to have something wrong with his hormones than I am tbh.

OP posts:

SeaUrchinHat · 29/08/2025 21:52

I’d be tempted to just not come home one night.

I’d be tempted to tell him to not bother coming home any night, ever. Seriously, what’s the point in this shit when you get to your fifties? Where did all the adult men go?

Original poster

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 29/08/2025 21:51

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 29/08/2025 21:43

I will give him a chance to reflect in the morning but it’s unlikely he will.

Why? What good does he bring to your life? He isn’t paying his way, is rude when you were on holiday, rude and misogynistic when drunk.

He does pay his way but that’s about it. He cuts the grass too lol. But tbh it’s not remotely difficult to do that. I don’t want a lodger. But I do need a few months to get some cash together to buffer me. I can do this. I’m good at “grey rock” techniques although I didn’t do it today but my nervous system kicked in during that phone call. Not about him so much but it reminded me of previous horrible shocking phone calls.

OP posts:

SeaUrchinHat · 29/08/2025 21:47

God do they EVER grow up?

The HRT comment: presumably you’re going to point out to him that was completely unacceptable?

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 29/08/2025 21:43

I will give him a chance to reflect in the morning but it’s unlikely he will.

Why? What good does he bring to your life? He isn’t paying his way, is rude when you were on holiday, rude and misogynistic when drunk.

myheadsjustmush · 29/08/2025 21:41

Oh god that is not funny in the slightest.

When I was younger, I was at a friends house, waiting for my then BF and another friend to arrive. The friend burst into the house, shouting there's been an accident - your BF has run over a little girl and he has smashed his car up.

I panicked and nearly passed out from the shock - only for my BF to come in, laughing hysterically, saying it was just a joke. 🙄

Some people have a really warped sense of humour.