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Original poster

To consider giving up my cushy job

60 replies

Wherewhenwhathow · 29/08/2025 15:01

Difficult personal situation. I have 2 young kids - 1 at nursery, 1 at early primary school. A very useless DP that I am a bit stuck with for various reasons. And super alone as lost both parents, sadly. I was extremely close to them. I have a lot of friends but really struggle with having no adult to give me any care or support / help me or talk to me in the way you can with close family.

I did very, very well academically but for various reason, I have worked for years in an admin job. It has excellent benefits due to nature of sector and is well paid, lots of flexibility and no stress, plus some other excellent perks re holidays and other things. But I am not challenged at all and the job is low status. It is a bit of a trap but has suited difficult personal circumstances. I have seen a job that I might not even get but it is a civil service role and the way the application is structured means I can definitely use very good examples from a previous role and my studies to show I could do the job well. But... the pay is less, a bit of a longer commute and I'd need to work about 10 hours extra a week to make the same money as I earn part time now. Might seem insane (?) but this job would give me new skills, a new lease of life, stimulation (hopefully) and training is provided for what would be a proper career. There are 0 options for progression in current role. I think I don't have a lot of time to change career and earn anything like even what the lower salary of this job that interests me is offering because my more professional experience is getting older and older.

Feel guilty for my kids as it would mean more childcare and I have no backup if they were ill etc. DP is selfish and does v v little. One DD is very anxious so maybe needs me more than other kids

I have no one to talk this through with really so looking for opinions. Not been offered job or even finisher applying - just wondering if I am mad considering it.

I know DP is a bigger problem really but I am very alone support wise so LTB is not feasible right now (for lots of good reasons)

Career question wise, thoughts?

OP posts:
CheshireSplat · 29/08/2025 15:30

It's so hard.

My view with a 13 year old and 10 year old is that I have been much more present for DD2 at primary school events. My job is flexible ,(my previous one wasn't) and I can get to most things (not all) but plays, stay and plays, sports day, music recitals and I've really cherished that.

Given your pay and flexibility and annual leave, looking done from the other end of the primary school telescope I'd be tempted to stay and make the most of this time.

You've also got school holidays and they do need you less as they get older. If you have less annual leave would you need more holiday clubs which can be expensive and sometimes only run from 10-3.

Seems unfair though, that you have to make this choice because your not so D P is an arse.

Could you use your brain in the evening in some kind of qualification course to help your prospects in a few years?

Overtheatlantic · 29/08/2025 15:29

I wouldn’t do it at this point. The cost of living is rising and the world in general is more unstable than it has been in over a decade. Keep your ear to the ground and wait for something closer to home and better paid.

thechampselysee · 29/08/2025 15:28

There is no harm in applying, if you get an interview you can find out more about the role, team culture, opportunities for progression etc and then decide if they offer.
Can you talk to your team about the potential to progress your career with them? Maybe a sideways move first into something else? I work at a similar place and they really value keeping current staff who are good at their job and understand the niche work we do.

Zanatdy · 29/08/2025 15:25

Don’t forget the very generous pension scheme - might not be as much as a pay cut when consider the pension.

RimTimTagiDim · 29/08/2025 15:23

Giving up your job will make it much, much harder to leave him, and you know you need to do it.

Original poster
Wherewhenwhathow · 29/08/2025 15:21

The thing is, I am really overpaid for my job (due to type of sector) The job I have seen is decent enough pay but I won't find something on current salary elsewhere given years in admin. Think whatever I do, would be a big hit. Just worry I would be unfair to my kids when I am currently around a lot and also, maybe I would regret giving up a job a lot of mums would bite your hand off for due to pay and flexibility. I am bored and need something to do with my brain though. Need a refresh but don't want to do it at kids expense either. Very difficult. I also have significant annual leave that won't be matched elsewhere!

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 29/08/2025 15:19

Don't take a job with longer hours and less money. Wait till a better opportunity comes along.

QuickFawn · 29/08/2025 15:16

Not this job, but keep looking and find one that wouldn’t mean extra work for you and less money

minipie · 29/08/2025 15:10

Absolutely go for it. But do be sure there are genuine options for progression first.

Academicallyminded · 29/08/2025 15:09

Especially if DP is useless, you need a job with career progression opportunities, and to fulfill your academic and intellectual potential. Think long term financial security and independence - short term hurdles will sort themselves out. Don't set yourself up for regret and resentment.

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