To consider giving up my cushy job

I’d apply but honestly, if you don’t know the ‘civil service’ way of filling in applications, I wouldn’t hold your breath at getting the role. It’s a whole different game just trying to get an interview, even if you’ve done the exact same role all your life and have all the skills/experience, if you don’t apply exactly how they score each application, you get sifted out instantly. (It’s totally different to private sector)
They also have a backlog of people who’ve already successfully applied for roles on that grade but no posts were available, so they’re given priority, plus anyone else already working in that team / those roles will also be applying as there’s no direct promotion programme. There is lots of room for promotion but that can take years as you have to go through the same application process each time.

That said, I’d def apply just so you don’t have regrets, and I’d just trust fate that if this is the right path for you then you’ll get the job and if not, then it wasn’t meant to be.

It’ll be much easier when the second child is at school, if you can wait until then. But definitely apply for the interview experience, you probably need it.

While your role itsef may have no options for progression, is there the possibility of sideways moves with your current employer? Your sector is well paid and brings great benefits, and you'll have a lot of sector-specific knowledge and probably connections, trust and goodwill. In my sector (financial services), a competant, well thought of admin person would be a realistic candidate for junior business management or PMO roles.

I am in a similar position. Most people would bite my hand off for my current job (the team are lovely, it’s very flexible, no issues with changing hours to suit childcare & plenty of wfh) but I’m so bored, I don’t have job satisfaction & I want to be challenged.
so I’m leaving for a much harder role (out of London so less pay too). The anxiety keeps me up at night but I have no regrets. You have one life & I want to be at the end thinking ‘I’m glad I gave that a shot’
good luck with whatever you decide x

You should at least apply for the new job. Go for an interview, is good experience if you haven't for a while.

Hmm. Tricky. Staying in a cushy job is so easy, we understand. Tell us a bit more about the new job, because for so much extra hassle for less money it sounds risky.

What are the guarantees, does it lead to an actual proper position eg Project Manager, is there training courses, or will you actually get a ..... say eg Nebosh or CIMA qualification at the end, that you can then take onto a new job?

@Wherewhenwhathow @SummerFrog25 No, I hadn't read everything at the time but having done so I still don't understand why her focus is on work, particularly if it means being away from the kids for longer. I'd put my energies into documenting all the issues/gathering evidence/seeking legal advice so that he doesn't have access to the kids without supervision following separation if he is that much of a risk. A new work challenge is not what she and the kids need - an escape route is.

You appear not to have read her subsequent posts.

shes scared of the kuds well being when he has them alone . A lot if women (understandably) are, !I don't blame her.

@Wherewhenwhathow I understand why you'd want to do it & I understand those saying go for the career progression. But personally I wouldn't give up the flexibility, additional leave etc when the kids are so young & you have no support Stay where you can be more flexible if the kids need you, for now.

look at other ways to improve your situation ( don't know what to suggest as I don't know what quaks you had already

document every unsafe thing he does.

I would keep the cushy job and get a side hustle that peaked my interest.

I was in your situation a while ago, with a few different jobs, but I always thought how can I give up the money, it's not fair for my kids, etc.

Nothing has changed 10 years later, I'm in the same going nowhere job. I feel so pathetic and bored. My friends that took risks and pay cuts 10 years ago have all worked through it and surpassed me with great careers. I know I'll retire and think it's a shame I didnt have a career.

Now I know that's easy for me to say, since I didn't take the risk. Maybe I would have hated it, maybe I wouldn't have even got those jobs. Who knows. But I wish I'd made a change.

Why don't you keep your job that aligns so well with family needs and leave your husband? Surely that is quite a challenge that will keep you occupied for the next 18-24 months? Once you and the kids are settled you can look for more stimulating work. I'm really not try to be facetious but I do not understand any woman stifling herself in a marriage if she has the means and energy to get out.

Definitely apply. If you get offered you can make the decision then.

I was feeling the same but found ways to keep my brain active keeping the comfort of my job. If you are into STEM, I would recommend going through the certification (especially around AI), lots to learn and would be good on resume - or similar certifications in your domain. You can author books(loads of help on ChatGPT).

I walked away from a prestigious job which had a great package. I knew I would never find that package again. The trouble was I was bored out my head. I felt like my life was over in many respects. I handed my notice in without anything to go to. I spent some time not working (a mini-retirement) and that didn't suit. I'm now back working for less money and no stability but I feel alive again and find the new role super-interesting and love it. I'm learning new stuff and my colleagues are nice. I spent 6 years psyching myself up to leave my previous role. I've always said a job with a great financial package can trap a person. It's a personal thing. Life is short and sometimes, you have to take risks. However, do your sums. If you're going to broaden your experience with the new role, presumably more jobs will open up.

No don’t leave it. I was in a ‘high status’ job and it was horrible

Because it would be shape up or ship up time. Win win either way.

OP, it’s a strong ‘no’ from me.

I speak as a single parent to 3 DC, whose spouse was useless (also abusive) and had stayed useless since we parted (when DC were all very small).

You will be parenting these DC alone - in or out of the marriage.

Your first step is to resolve the drain of your DP. It’s incredible how that unhappiness seeps into everything. You think addressing the issue with your job (all valid points, btw) will help. It won’t. You’ll lose your flexibility, your leave, money - and all the personal stress will remain.

I hear that you say you can’t leave DP now. I have to say, I always tell women that they can leave. It can be hard, messy, expensive, soul-destroying - but if there is no other option & it’s draining you, you will do it. I managed in awful circumstances. My life is hard now, really, there is no fairytale ending for me but I know 💯 it’s better than the life I’d have endured had I stayed

Honestly - what in OP’s posts gives you any suggestion her partner might enjoy stepping up? Or do it at all?

Go for it. You might not get it but you will have stirred yourself to start looking properly. Your children will be fine. Partner may even enjoy stepping up!

Good luck.

I've been in your situation somewhat. Here's the truth of it. Career progression with kids requires an excellent support network. Your partner is a handbrake who will eventually turn into a road crash on your career journey. The reality of your current job situation is a dream come true in light of your circumstances. If I had your options way back when, I'd divorce the manchild while I had job security and take some time to get used to being a single mother. From experience, when you're a married single mother anyway the transition is quite easy and if anything easier because you're not constantly disappointed and disregarded. This job opening is reminding you of the life you're aligned to versus the life you're currently settling for. Clean house OP. They don't magically wake up one day and turn into the man you hoped for. When you do leave, you'll see the pattern you've been living clearly. I would not take the job now. The requisite foundation is not set.

Your current job sounds like a dream to me.

This wait until your DC are older to work longer hours etc

This wait until your DC are older to work longer hours etc

Hi op how old are you? If I was in your shoes and your dp is useless I would stay with being more available with kids for now. Depending on your age and how quickly you want to progress there are pros and cons to your job situation. I get the challenges you want but if your needed at home and your job wasn’t as flexible you might be over challenged could you do a course at college to help you now so when kids are a bit older you can apply for something more challenging. Kids need you more now especially if no support.