Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and they’ve taken the key and won’t answer their phone

286 replies

User8182737484849 · 29/08/2025 12:50

On holiday with a family member. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I thought this trip might be a chance for a bit of a reset.

Today we decided to do different things.

Normally I’ve had the apartment key when we’ve gone out together, but I asked them to pop it in the key safe this time. For whatever reason, they didn’t — and with their phone switched off I can’t get hold of them.

I’m making the best of it with a quiet day to myself, but I can’t help feeling a bit upset. It’s left me feeling quite stuck, literally and figuratively. I can’t leave the apartment! I’d never want to make someone else feel like that.

Any advice on how to handle the rest of the trip without letting this sour everything?

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 29/08/2025 13:32

I run an holiday key and there’s obviously a spare key somewhere. Not the agency but the cleaner would if course have one. I’d be contacting the owner.
When your relative returns I’d say it was totally unfair of them, esoyogctgey were on a day trip so wouldn’t be back! Though why didn’t you discuss plans beforehand? If they wanted the key so desperately why not say ok but meet me back here at X? Though their refusal to use the lockbox has just been an inconvenience to all. I’d certainly have words and never go away with this person again.

StressedOot3 · 29/08/2025 13:29

If you are abroad I'd just pack a bag with what I need for the day and evening and not go home till this evening. Day on the beach or whatever then on to a beach bar or somewhere for some dinner and cocktails. If it happens again id be tempted to book another room for myself somewhere and leave them to it.

pikkumyy77 · 29/08/2025 13:27

user9064385631 · 29/08/2025 13:20

I think I’d pack up my stuff and go to a hotel, travel lodge or something or even just go home if you’re not abroad.
What an arse they are being! You say this holiday was supposed to be a reconciliation? Are you sure you want someone so awkward in your life? I wouldn’t…

I agree with this. Just leave and have the rest if the holiday happily by yourself. Its ridiculous to be held hostage by this person.

Zero2ten · 29/08/2025 13:27

So just get what you need for the day and go out? Not sure i understand why you’d need to sit in and waste a day of your holiday, surely you’re not continuously back and forward to your room but out and about most days on holiday anyway

mnahmnah · 29/08/2025 13:27

I’m taking a wild guess that this is your mum and that you have had a lifetime of this shit?

But, I would just go out and explore. Get dinner. Enjoy time alone. Come back later on when they will definitely be back. If they message and ask where you are, ignore them.

wuminty · 29/08/2025 13:25

Don't be a dick yourself. Go out, bring your valuables with you. If they are not back when YOU get back then leave and go elsewhere. That's what I would do, and if it did turn out to be a mistake on relative's part, start again. But one more incident of any sort and l'd leave immediately.

Someone must be able to supply you with a spare key. What if you both were out and access was required for a fire or some other emergency. Come on there is a way.....

NewYorkSummer · 29/08/2025 13:25

AgnesX · 29/08/2025 13:21

Why did you go on holiday with them? Is it your mother by any chance?

I’m thinking husband….

Nanny0gg · 29/08/2025 13:24

When did we stop saying 'relative' and change it to 'family member'?

<misses point of thread>

LlamaNoDrama · 29/08/2025 13:22

I think I'd just let it be soured. They're obviously abusive why should you pretend they're not?

AgnesX · 29/08/2025 13:21

Why did you go on holiday with them? Is it your mother by any chance?

gamerchick · 29/08/2025 13:21

Fuck that. I'd be booking somewhere else or going home.

You get treated how you allow people to treat you. Are you completely powerless here OP?

user9064385631 · 29/08/2025 13:20

I think I’d pack up my stuff and go to a hotel, travel lodge or something or even just go home if you’re not abroad.
What an arse they are being! You say this holiday was supposed to be a reconciliation? Are you sure you want someone so awkward in your life? I wouldn’t…

VeryStressedMum · 29/08/2025 13:20

Just go out and back in the evening your friend will be back then, they won’t stay out all night those sorts of whole are hoping for a reaction after treating you like shit but will pretend they haven’t done anything wrong. You are playing right into their hands. You are not stuck you can go out you are just choosing not to

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 29/08/2025 13:20

This is bizarre.

In your OP you said I asked them to pop it in the key safe this time. For whatever reason, they didn’t — and with their phone switched off I can’t get hold of them.

'For whatever reason' sounded like they either forgot or decided against it.

Now you're saying they refused point blank in the first place and just went out for a whole day in the knowledge you'd be locked out?

And you seriously want...

"Any advice on how to handle the rest of the trip without letting this sour everything?"

Blimey.

Melonjuice · 29/08/2025 13:20

Why is there only one key

legsekeven · 29/08/2025 13:20

Take what you need for the day/ evening and go do something fun. If you wake them up coming in then so be it

Doggymummar · 29/08/2025 13:19

Go get another from reception

MissingCrumpets · 29/08/2025 13:19

I would ask the owner for a second key; it’s annoying to have to coordinate.
I wouldn’t tell them about the second key and would do the same to them tomorrow. Just tell them it’s safer. It must be fine to do it, as they’ve done it to you.

Thispupsgottofly · 29/08/2025 13:18

Go out and have a lovely time. Come back much later preferably waking them up!

moose62 · 29/08/2025 13:17

I would just leave and go and stay elsewhere but not tell them.

JimmyGiraffe · 29/08/2025 13:17

User8182737484849 · 29/08/2025 13:15

They’ve said it was “safer” for them to take the keys so they would have the option to return to the apartment. Whereas as I obviously don’t have that option…

Seriously??

User8182737484849 · 29/08/2025 13:16

@ScurryfungeSpuddle no but I am unable to leave and then come back in. It’s self locking.

OP posts:
User8182737484849 · 29/08/2025 13:15

They’ve said it was “safer” for them to take the keys so they would have the option to return to the apartment. Whereas as I obviously don’t have that option…

OP posts:
Tablesandchairs23 · 29/08/2025 13:14

I wouldn't go on holiday with a family member I don't get on with.

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 29/08/2025 13:14

User8182737484849 · 29/08/2025 13:11

There is a key safe that they have refused to use so it’s not an accident. It’s very much their way or the highway.

the door is self locking so I would have to wedge something in between it to be able to leave. They are on a day trip and have refused to come back early to let me out! I told them about the key safe repeatedly and they won’t use it.

What do you mean 'let me out'?

Did they lock you in?