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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On holiday and they’ve taken the key and won’t answer their phone

286 replies

User8182737484849 · 29/08/2025 12:50

On holiday with a family member. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I thought this trip might be a chance for a bit of a reset.

Today we decided to do different things.

Normally I’ve had the apartment key when we’ve gone out together, but I asked them to pop it in the key safe this time. For whatever reason, they didn’t — and with their phone switched off I can’t get hold of them.

I’m making the best of it with a quiet day to myself, but I can’t help feeling a bit upset. It’s left me feeling quite stuck, literally and figuratively. I can’t leave the apartment! I’d never want to make someone else feel like that.

Any advice on how to handle the rest of the trip without letting this sour everything?

OP posts:
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andfinallyhereweare · 02/09/2025 23:30

Go out and arrange to meet them out (if they are close enough to pop back as that’s why they’ve got the key?) or go out and come back when they do?

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 02/09/2025 23:02

RimTimTagiDim · 29/08/2025 14:54

I'm the key and I want to be tucked up nicely in the key safe. Nobody ever considers my feelings.

I'm the automatic locking mechanism and am bewildered that I'm seen as something imprisoning a human or something to be disabled when in fact I am a standard security mechanism in most holiday lets

InWalksBarberalla · 31/08/2025 22:04

GiveDogBone · 31/08/2025 17:59

So you’re in the apartment, and you gave them the key? Why on earth did you do that?

Also, if there’s two of you, why didn't you get two keys?

You sound a total nightmare to go on holiday with.

Edited

Have you never stayed in an airbnb? You arrive and get the key from the key lock- how do you make a second key appear? Why on earth does the OP get to hold on to the key and not her sister?

GiveDogBone · 31/08/2025 17:59

So you’re in the apartment, and you gave them the key? Why on earth did you do that?

Also, if there’s two of you, why didn't you get two keys?

You sound a total nightmare to go on holiday with.

sophiecygnet · 31/08/2025 10:19

There are times when I wonder what the point of this is?

madaboutpurple · 31/08/2025 08:14

You should be able to get a key copied if the owner doesn't give out a second key.

oldmoaner · 31/08/2025 08:06

I definitely would NOT go out and leave the apartment unlocked as you will probably get a huge bill if someone went in and did any damage as it would be classed as negligence. If you can sit outside by door I'd do that if not, I'd relax and when they came back I'd ask for the key and say I'll look after it for the rest of the holiday. End of.

GAJLY · 31/08/2025 07:21

Could you ask for a second key as you're both out and about?

SimplyAmy1 · 31/08/2025 06:54

Surely if they went out first and you’re still in the apartment, they should have left the key with you and you could have put it in the key safe yourself if/when you went out? 🤔 that way you can both get in, whoever is back first

FiveShelties · 30/08/2025 23:29

Please post your destination when you both holiday again - I would hate to be in the same town let alone the same apartment complex.

But I have enjoyed reading about your adventures.😂

YelramBob · 30/08/2025 22:50

Pack your bags, up and leave. It's not right but it's ok 👍

Isinglass20 · 30/08/2025 22:33

Katebushagain

I agree. Pack your bags and leave. Perhaps check out alternative accommodation before you go if staying at a resort otherwise go home.

And plan a new life of freedom without them,
an assertiveness course or perhaps therapy to learn how to extract yourself from this situation and the need for reconciliation

Lovemycat2023 · 30/08/2025 22:18

I guess this is an Airbnb and it’s not at all unusual to have just one key, and use a key safe. Probably no option to get a second key.

On that basis I would be leaving and finding better, safer, accommodation. Otherwise you are quite vulnerable, if for example you needed to leave in an emergency and are then trapped outside the apartment. It’s such a rude thing to do.

T1Dmama · 30/08/2025 22:13

So what happened?
if you knew they were off on a day trip and you were more likely to stay local why didn’t you take the key?

Catmom8 · 30/08/2025 22:02

NeatKoala · 29/08/2025 13:48

If you can afford it, move out and find another hotel or come home

If you really cannot afford it, make it the very last time EVER you go anywhere with them

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This sounds crazy. I’d do like most suggested, take your stuff and leave. Get another accommodation for yourself.

I’ve cut all contact with my own sister, and it’s finally allowed me to live in peace after years of backstabbing, manipulative and controlling behaviour and much more. My life is so much more peaceful without having to manage a relationship with a high maintenance tyrant.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 30/08/2025 21:12

Rosscameasdoody · 30/08/2025 18:58

She posted that she wasn’t allowed to put the key in the key safe - told by the owner it wasn’t secure.

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So what? If the owner refuses to give them a second key, they don't get to dictate that the key safe isn't used. They can go swivel.

MadMadaMim · 30/08/2025 20:52

I voted YABU as both of you have missed the concept of the key box. The key ALWAYS goes in the box so that everyone can come and go.

BigDeepBreaths · 30/08/2025 20:50

LucyMonth · 30/08/2025 20:02

So you CAN leave but you won’t have a key to return so you’re not going out.

But you wanted your relative to leave and not take the key so they couldn’t return.

Why do you get to take the key and not them when they are the one that had a specific day trip planned?

Presumably because the OP wasnt planning to go off grid and would have ensured she was available with the key when her relative returned from day out.

BigDeepBreaths · 30/08/2025 20:44

1.Your relative is a selfish arse.
2.I would act chill when they got home and say I actually had a lovely peaceful time reading amd napping - hell, do some baking. I would then get up at the crack of dawn and leave with the keys for the day and switch my phone off.

Rosacia12 · 30/08/2025 20:27

Tomorrow is another day. You get up early take the key and go out. See how the shoe fits!

tinytemper66 · 30/08/2025 20:09

Surely the key thief must have returned by now. Hate it when posters post on here for drama etc and then don’t come back!

LucyMonth · 30/08/2025 20:02

So you CAN leave but you won’t have a key to return so you’re not going out.

But you wanted your relative to leave and not take the key so they couldn’t return.

Why do you get to take the key and not them when they are the one that had a specific day trip planned?

MeridianB · 30/08/2025 19:49

Take all your stuff, leave the apartment, find a nice Air BB or hotel nearby and enjoy a holiday without their nonsense.

YelramBob · 30/08/2025 19:12

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 30/08/2025 19:10

I've got the key to anoooother way ey eh!!

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Choooooon 🥳

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 30/08/2025 19:10

YelramBob · 30/08/2025 19:07

I've got the key, I've got the secret 😜

I've got the key to anoooother way ey eh!!