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Original poster

To ask for pithy but classy comeback for SIL?

233 replies

YoYoYoYoSigh · 29/08/2025 10:43

I've always struggled with my weight. I'm currently 8.5 stone down, up from 11 stone down 12 months ago 😬.

My not-darling-SIL is obsessed with weight and body image small talk.

I hardly see her, but there's a family event soon and I know one of the first things she'll mention is some sort of snide comment on how well I look. To clarify, she's not the type to give a compliment, only a back handed compliment. She'll often do that disengenous shit where she disparages herself (god, I'm just feeling such a heifer atm) when she knows that my comparative are much worse. It's all done to make me feel shit. And it hurts but I'm trying to change my mindset to she her as tedious.

So she'll definitely mention my/her weight when we meet to draw attention to my struggles and to unsettle me.

I want to go high and stay classy, but I also want her to subtly know that I know her game.

Is there any approach I can take that won't be inappropriate in a celebration setting.

I'm stronger now thanks menopause (ex people pleaser/ feelings smotherer) but I'm still letting her niggles have power over me. 🥲

OP posts:
Chazbots · 29/08/2025 10:51

It's just her projecting her inner issues.

Don't let her live rent-free in your head. Mum said to me yesterday "I thought you were putting on weight", this after trying to get me to eat cake! You can't win but you can be classy!

Clarinet1 · 29/08/2025 10:51

It may not be quite what you’re looking for but, when she says she looks awful I’d just say “Yes you do, don’t you?”

ClawedButler · 29/08/2025 10:49

I wouldn't even respond. She's trying to play a mean, point-scoring game, but you don't have to join in. She'll be better at it than you anyway, she's had plenty of practice at being a supercilious bitch. (Or "Never wrestle with a pig - you both get covered in sh*t, but the pig likes it").

I'd just give her a slightly puzzled/concerned look, smile, and carry on regardless.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 29/08/2025 10:48

"Do you know, SIL, I'm increasingly agreeing with Susie Orbach that fat really IS a feminist issue. What do you think?'

Bonjamin · 29/08/2025 10:48

I’d just picture the words, ‘I feel so sorry for you, Barbara’ in my head and smile - a little sad, a little amused - while saying nothing. Then move the conversation on. It’ll kill her inside, not getting a response out of you - anything you do say will only give her something to respond to, whereas polite silence is a fire blanket.

DelphiniumBlue · 29/08/2025 10:47

Maybe just a raised eyebrow when she makes the inevitable comment and move on, either conversationally, or from her. You don't need to actually say anything at all to retain the moral high ground.

catgirl1976 · 29/08/2025 10:45

“You know Susie, I do find it strange that someone else’s weight takes up so much space in your head. Are you quite alright?”

MidnightPatrol · 29/08/2025 10:44

‘Do you mean to be so rude?’

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