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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell my husband to stop saying this?

512 replies

cittykat · 29/08/2025 07:48

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

OP posts:
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AuntieDen · 29/08/2025 07:58

your husband is a dick

the same seller has other cat PJs with long bottoms. Its coming into winter, perhaps buy your son another pair and he can mix and match the trousers and tops, which would also make them more suitable for a sleepover if he wants to wear them to one.

HerecomesMargo · 29/08/2025 07:58

I have a 9yo ds who likes cats and I asked him if he wants this he’s said no that’s a girls pj’s. So your dh is right.
but only up to your ds if he cares or not.

ResusciAnnie · 29/08/2025 07:58

cittykat · 29/08/2025 07:53

Husband dislikes the pyjamas because the shorts are very short and to him the style should only be worn by girls. He would like a more full coverage short.

the difficulty is that it seems hard to find “boys” short sleeved summer pyjamas with a cat print. Otherwise I would have bought them in the first place. But truly I didn’t and still don’t see the problem so never occurred to me not to buy them. Son loves them.

I’d get my husband to explain why he thinks a girl wearing tiny bum-showing shorts would be ok, if it’s not ok for his son? 😵‍💫

Hoardasurass · 29/08/2025 07:57

If there riding up so far that his arse is hanging out it might be time to replace the pj's with a larger pair.
Gently noone wants to see their child's arse hanging out of their clothes

NestEmptying · 29/08/2025 07:57

I didn't even look at the pyjamas before I voted.
Who cares if they are pink with princess cats on - your DH is being unreasonable.

This is a red flag for me. His attitude towards clothing is old fashioned and misogynistic. I would be wondering how far the misogyny goes.

Original poster
cittykat · 29/08/2025 07:56

myplace · 29/08/2025 07:54

Reinforcing stereotypes is not ok.
Good parenting would at most be suggesting he wear different pjs on sleepovers. At a stretch.

I would suggest you get a bigger size though, if the shorts aren’t adequate.

Thank you. He has size 11-12 and normally wears a size 9-10 so I already sized up. They’re not too small for him it’s just the style of them is quite a ‘short’ short

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 29/08/2025 07:55

My son is also 9, and will bloody love these. Thanks, OP.

Also, your husband is a bully.

myplace · 29/08/2025 07:54

Reinforcing stereotypes is not ok.
Good parenting would at most be suggesting he wear different pjs on sleepovers. At a stretch.

I would suggest you get a bigger size though, if the shorts aren’t adequate.

Original poster
cittykat · 29/08/2025 07:53

Husband dislikes the pyjamas because the shorts are very short and to him the style should only be worn by girls. He would like a more full coverage short.

the difficulty is that it seems hard to find “boys” short sleeved summer pyjamas with a cat print. Otherwise I would have bought them in the first place. But truly I didn’t and still don’t see the problem so never occurred to me not to buy them. Son loves them.

OP posts:
socks1107 · 29/08/2025 07:52

Yes he’s bullying his son.horrible man

ResusciAnnie · 29/08/2025 07:50

Your DH is a douche. Sounds like if his daughter was in those PJs he’d be banging on about how they’re too boyish.

AmyDuPlantier · 29/08/2025 07:49

They’re pyjamas, why does he even give a single shit 🤷‍♀️