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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell my husband to stop saying this?

512 replies

cittykat · 29/08/2025 07:48

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

OP posts:
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12
Zodiacrobat · 29/08/2025 08:36

ResusciAnnie · 29/08/2025 07:58

I’d get my husband to explain why he thinks a girl wearing tiny bum-showing shorts would be ok, if it’s not ok for his son? 😵‍💫

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Yeah why?

Iloveeverycat · 29/08/2025 08:36

Clinicalwaste · 29/08/2025 08:33

Your son is 9, not 5 so I can see where your husband is coming from here.

Are you a man.

DorothyStorm · 29/08/2025 08:35

My concern here would be arounf this: my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again
Like he thinks young girls should be showing their arse in clothes. Not boys. Rather than wtf are girls clothes so short.

can you get a pair of matching colour but plain longer pj shorts?

TheCurious0range · 29/08/2025 08:35

DS loves cats and has cat pyjamas from the girls section of John Lewis, and a sparkly black cat onesie. I wouldn't buy a 9 year old of either sex pyjamas that show their bottoms

Swiftie1878 · 29/08/2025 08:34

landlordhell · 29/08/2025 08:21

No they’re not. I work with primary age.

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So do I!

Surveille222 · 29/08/2025 08:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheLemonLemur · 29/08/2025 08:33

You are correct the only person bullying is your husband. However i wouldn't have my 9 yo wearing shorts that I could see his backside i would swap the shorts for a pair of generic pj shorts

Clinicalwaste · 29/08/2025 08:33

Your son is 9, not 5 so I can see where your husband is coming from here.

Lurker85 · 29/08/2025 08:33

For everyone saying she shouldn’t have bought “girls pyjamas” - When on Amazon people tend to search “girl pyjamas” or “boys pyjamas” etc in order to narrow down the search. Sellers know this and even if the items are unisex, putting a specific gender in the title gives them more chance of their products being returned on searches. Amazon product titles are created to catch the search, not always to relay actual details. Having “girls” in the title does not necessarily mean they were designed for girls.

Mrsttcno1 · 29/08/2025 08:33

Well he’s not wrong in that they are girls PJ’s, and I would probably agree that other boys his age would pick up on that so I would be wary of him taking them to a sleepover but I don’t see what difference it makes what he wears in his own home

Spookyspaghetti · 29/08/2025 08:33

Your husband should get over it. He’s not really worried about your son but he feels his own masculinity is threatened in some way.

amzn.eu/d/0YiZSlm

Iloveeverycat · 29/08/2025 08:33

So if you had a daughter wearing spiderman pj's would he say they are boys pj's. I think not.

Pushmepullu · 29/08/2025 08:33

I wonder if his dad is uncomfortable about the fact that the PJs are so revealing and is clumsily trying to turn your son off them?

Itchyoureye · 29/08/2025 08:32

Your marriage Op… otherwise ok?

Butchyrestingface · 29/08/2025 08:32

cittykat · 29/08/2025 08:27

I'm the one who posted the link. So I did 'say that'. I haven't hidden what the pyjamas are, I'm not ignoring that 🤨

And my post says (quote) "the difficulty is that it seems hard to find “boys” short sleeved summer pyjamas with a cat print. Otherwise I would have bought them in the first place."

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Better not show your husband that link then, OP, since it will only confirm his idea that they are girls' pyjamas.

I agree he needs a size bigger if his bum is hanging out. The most concerning thing is that your husband appears to think its okay for girls to expose their bum cheeks but not boys.

Do you have any daughters?

Original poster
cittykat · 29/08/2025 08:32

You can see the shorts on the link. They aren't unusually short. Just in husband's opinion which is what this whole thing hinges on really.

Son wears a size 9-10 or 10-11 normally and owns these pyjamas in a size up, he has the 11-12 size.

OP posts:
MrMucker · 29/08/2025 08:31

I'd happily put my own 9yo DS in them, but in terms of "winning the argument" you don't really have a leg to stand on if the advert states "girls'", so your DH could simply revert to questioning that. In fact that might even be what's happened, and his disapproval of eg the shorts is just confirmation bias.

EsmeSusanOgg · 29/08/2025 08:31

My dad used to say obnoxious things under the same guise of 'but she'll be bullied' it just meant I was bullied at home by my dad - as well as at school for entirely different things. It taught me that I deserved to be bullied.

Why on Earth would a child be bullied for their PJs that their friends do not see. Also, since when are cats only for girls?

PInkyStarfish · 29/08/2025 08:30

I would agree with your husband if they were girly but when I looked at them they aren’t! They look unisex to me and I am very traditional about girls and boys things.

I do think though that it’s reasonable not to have your bum cheeks hanging out so I would buy plain shorts that fit him better to wear with the cat top.

Ratafia · 29/08/2025 08:29

Does your husband think he will catch gayness if he wears girls pyjamas? You need to laugh him out of it.

supersop60 · 29/08/2025 08:29

SomewhatAnnoyed · 29/08/2025 08:03

It angers his father when his bum cheek is occasionally revealed and he doubles down on them being girls pyjamas…. So he’d prefer to see his daughter’s bum cheek…. 😳

My thought exactly. Why is it ok for a girl to accidentally show a bum cheek but not a boy?
Twat dad.

rainbowstardrops · 29/08/2025 08:29

Thundertoast · 29/08/2025 08:10

Have you tried saying 'God, you are making me so unattractive to you right now, do you know how thick you sound? Unless pajamas require you to use a vagina to put them on then they dont have a gender. Do you realise how stupid you are making yourself sound?' And on and on and on.
You've tried speaking nicely to him, he's bullying your son so it's time for him to get a taste of it to be honest. Obviously not saying the above in front of your son.

Absolutely this!

Anewuser · 29/08/2025 08:28

It’s not about the pyjamas but how the father is talking to his child.

They are girls pjs but so what? He will be growing and summer is nearly over so they won’t be worn for much longer.

If the father really had a problem with them, he could have hidden them, said they got ruined in the washing machine, bought different ones, but he didn’t he chose to take the piss out of his own child, constantly.