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Original poster

Guests and disturbing them

137 replies

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 06:44

Just a curious one. If you have guests using the sofa bed what time do you get up yourself??
I need to go downstairs and sort out the cat box 🤢 and get on with my day but worried about disturbing them 😞😍

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 29/08/2025 09:48

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:15

@Moonnstars its my son and his gf. He normally shares with his younger brother so i said they could sleep downy. I'll get up soon I'm getting bored 🤣🤣

I would have had this conversation back when you said they could sleep on the sofa bed.

'Yes, that's fine but obviously I will need to get up and see to the cats/get ready for work etc etc at 6.30/7am so bear the early start in mind.'

Account734 · 29/08/2025 09:31

I think 7am is reasonable if you have things you need to do. Guests staying on a sofa bed in a busy part of the home can't expect lie ins.

Leilaandtheloggerheads · 29/08/2025 09:28

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:14

I understand the reasoning but I still don't like the thought of others having the ability to check up on me like that.
I'm a very private person and it gives off vibes of real intrusiveness.
If I was a guest in their home I don't know what's wrong with a subtle knock on the door if it was necessary to check if I was awake. Not checking my activity on social media.

Edited
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So you’d turn the feature off then wouldn’t you? 🙈 why are you getting so het up about something that doesn’t, can’t and won’t affect you?

Samesame47 · 29/08/2025 09:27

If I was in the situation that I needed to disturb my guests in order to go about my day then I would give them my bed and take the sofa bed. In your situation I wouldn’t walk into a room knowing my guests could be sleeping so I would wait until I hear movement before going down.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 29/08/2025 09:26

Whenthetimeisright · 29/08/2025 07:14

I understand the reasoning but I still don't like the thought of others having the ability to check up on me like that.
I'm a very private person and it gives off vibes of real intrusiveness.
If I was a guest in their home I don't know what's wrong with a subtle knock on the door if it was necessary to check if I was awake. Not checking my activity on social media.

Edited
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You don’t have WhatsApp, so you don’t have to worry, do you?

Leilaandtheloggerheads · 29/08/2025 09:26

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/08/2025 07:33

7:00 am.
Just breeze in and sweep back the curtains saying
"Aren't you up yet. Breakfast is at 9:00. Come on. Chop Chop."

Omg, you’ve given me the rage just reading that, if you actually said it to me in real life you’d be told where to go 😂 please tell me you don’t do this!!!!!!

JaneyDC · 29/08/2025 09:22

Weekmindedfool · 29/08/2025 07:35

Ok…never had an issue with my cats. Cleaned the litter tray later in the day, certainly never jumped up straight after the event. Certainly never got up early just because they been. And no the house didn’t smell.

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Sorry, but it will most definitely smell. You're just nose blind to it. My sister has a cat and a litter tray. It literally blasts me in the face when I visit her if she hasn't cleaned it up right away.
Thankfully, we have a cat flap so don't need a litter tray.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 29/08/2025 09:07

In my house, if the cat uses his litter tray, the smell wakes up anyone in the sitting room!

UniqueStork · 29/08/2025 08:47

tulippa · 29/08/2025 08:40

I think it's more if they used to live there and have come back to stay for a bit then they're kind of slotting back into the family. When DD finishes uni and moves out permanently I can't ever see a time that she'd have to be invited to come and stay like a guest would. She'd just let us know she was coming back for a bit.
Your mum visiting might be different if she's never actually lived in your house so doesn't have a defined space there. Hope I've made sense there.

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Yes, and I understand what you mean. I have a married DD and if she came to stay I wouldn't view her as a guest as such, but she isn't a regular part of the household anymore. She'd also slot in with the family routine more. My mother has never lived here and I think the expectations are different. When she's here, the whole routine shifts (unlike with my child) and we spend the week taking her places and making her visit interesting. To me, that is a guest.

Bowies · 29/08/2025 08:43

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/08/2025 07:33

7:00 am.
Just breeze in and sweep back the curtains saying
"Aren't you up yet. Breakfast is at 9:00. Come on. Chop Chop."

Is this meant to be ironic? I would leave home after this!

tulippa · 29/08/2025 08:40

UniqueStork · 29/08/2025 08:33

A guest is anyone who doesn't normally live in the house by my definition. I'm just latching onto that with interest because once my mother was visiting and told me that my teenage child hadn't done anything to help around the house. I pointed out that he usually does but we were all in a different routine with having guests. She got quite upset at being called a guest. Any insight because it seems like you define it differently and might be able to shed some light?

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I think it's more if they used to live there and have come back to stay for a bit then they're kind of slotting back into the family. When DD finishes uni and moves out permanently I can't ever see a time that she'd have to be invited to come and stay like a guest would. She'd just let us know she was coming back for a bit.
Your mum visiting might be different if she's never actually lived in your house so doesn't have a defined space there. Hope I've made sense there.

Createausername1970 · 29/08/2025 08:37

Your update changes my initial opinion.

Just do what you need to. This might become a regular occurrence so they need to know that life goes on around them and stuff needs to be done, so they are fitting in with family life, not the other way round.

UniqueStork · 29/08/2025 08:33

tulippa · 29/08/2025 08:30

Not the point of the thread but does your visiting adult child really count as a guest? Surely he's just family coming to stay? He should be used to how the house runs and when you all generally get up. Sorry I know his girlfriend is there too but he should be explaining that they'll probably need to get up earlyish.

A guest is anyone who doesn't normally live in the house by my definition. I'm just latching onto that with interest because once my mother was visiting and told me that my teenage child hadn't done anything to help around the house. I pointed out that he usually does but we were all in a different routine with having guests. She got quite upset at being called a guest. Any insight because it seems like you define it differently and might be able to shed some light?

Zodiacrobat · 29/08/2025 08:33

itsachickeninnit · 29/08/2025 07:25

I’d probably message him first….just in case 😬

Omg yes, I’d def check, no mum needs to see her son in a … position 😬

Bananafofana · 29/08/2025 08:32

Next time have a casual chat the night before about plans for the morning / breakfast / your schedule

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 08:31

Gloriia · 29/08/2025 08:24

Next time op give them a bed and you sleep on the sofabed so you can carry on your usual routine.

Why should OP give up her own bed exactly?

tulippa · 29/08/2025 08:30

Not the point of the thread but does your visiting adult child really count as a guest? Surely he's just family coming to stay? He should be used to how the house runs and when you all generally get up. Sorry I know his girlfriend is there too but he should be explaining that they'll probably need to get up earlyish.

Gloriia · 29/08/2025 08:24

Next time op give them a bed and you sleep on the sofabed so you can carry on your usual routine.

Swiftie1878 · 29/08/2025 08:18

shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 07:30

@Weekmindedfool because they did a poo and it's ponging?

You need better litter!

GleisZwei · 29/08/2025 08:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Or the son could deal with it?

Surveille222 · 29/08/2025 08:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
shellyleppard · 29/08/2025 08:16

Thank you all for replying. I went downstairs at 7.30 am . They were both sat reading!! All my worry for nothing Lol

OP posts:
MiddleAgeRageMonster · 29/08/2025 08:14

We are very early risers in this house, anytime around 5am! Any guests are very much aware and are welcome to stay elsewhere if they don't like our sleeping habits.
Tbh my sister is the only one that stays, her kids sleep in with mine and don't surface until about lunchtime, when we get up my sister gets off the couch and goes to sleep in our bed for another few hours!

Nestingbirds · 29/08/2025 08:06

FanofLeaves · 29/08/2025 07:02

If I had to disturb guests that early to sort pets out I’d have probably taken the sofa bed and let them have a bedroom. But obviously too late now, I hope you warned them about the early wake up!

Edited

It’s not a hotel! They are not paying for the privilege. It’s op’s home and I assume as it’s a week day they won’t be surprised that people have to get on with the day.

Arrivederla · 29/08/2025 07:56

Rasell · 29/08/2025 07:42

When you click on a contact it says, 'last seen at 6.05' or whatever, it doesn't give any other info or location or anything.
I agree, 8am as host, but as a guest I'd be fine with noise and disturbances from 7am. I'd rather that than the smell of cat poo waking me up!

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Exactly! And if anyone thinks that their cat litter tray doesn't smell, then they are totally kidding themselves

Sorry! Somehow quoted the wrong post

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