In a real predicament- think I’ve settled. Don’t fancy my DH

Not to mention how looks will fade as we get older.

Yea I mean if you were struggling to attract someone like that before you’ve got next to no chance now

Yeah, why did she marry and have a kid with him if he's so ugly she can't bear to look at him? Sounds like she must be have had other options. Doesn't make sense, does it? Except she settled and is now moaning about him online.

I hope he finds this.

But OP doesn’t have an issue with sex, it’s good with her DH.

So how is your suggestion going to help her?

This made me choke on my cuppa 😅.

@Whitemochaonice Its a shame you never ‘fancied’ your husband to begin with and I imagine you thought you’d grow to love him as a person to the point you wouldn’t really ‘see’ the face in terms of attractiveness or not.

YANBU for having these thoughts and as far as I’m concerned it’s healthier to acknowledge them than head in the sand.

The only thing I’d say is I’m not sure you can get any better the older you become. I appreciate that you’re still able to attract male attention in your old-er years but that doesn’t always translate to a conventionally handsome man actually making you his wife - after all, you struggled to obtain one when you were younger and I imagine more attractive.

Also, as I found out with my recent ex who was an absolute hottie and we were together 2 years, he was red flags galore after a year of dating and with a heavy heart I realised why it was that such a handsome man in his 50s was still available. So not all the time, but a lot of the time, the really handsome guys will likely have some unattractive traits making them unobtainable anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I got so burnt last time, that I will feel v lucky if my path should cross with a guy who’s just relatable and kind - neither trait I realised my ex hottie had which is why I eventually dumped him.

That's really tricky. My attraction with DH grew over time, I'm attracted to him as a person definitely and everything he is. It's a bit like those old romcoms where the girl picks the 'good guy' in the end rather than Mr Suave.

I think what keeps things alive for us is getting on each other's nerves! Bit of friction helps along the chemistry. Maybe things are too 'nice'?

You won’t realise what you have until it’s gone. Try to appreciate him

I agree.

She married him and had a kid with him despite not being attracted to him, because she was desperate and he was convenient. No need to be devastated on her behalf.

It's funny OP that although you're apparently gorgeous and get loads of male attention you had to resort to marring someone you find so ugly that you can only have sex with them in the dark.

Just LTB, he deserves much better than you.

Can posters stop being dicks? It’s horrible to realise you’re not remotely attracted to your H. I’d be very sad and would probably yearn for that butterfly feeling again. Anyone would.

I feel for you. I’ve been there with my ex. He wasn’t unattractive at all, but I didn’t have that raw chemistry and passion with him, so years down the line I struggled to have sex with him.

That wasn’t fair on me or on him, so we split. We are still amicable though.

It depends how important sex is to you and your husband. If it’s important then you have some thinking to do 🥲

The reality is, you will never find a better man than him. As a single mother, your options will be much reduced and you will have to find from the numbers happy to take on responsibility for another man’s child, someone who is actually good and kind enough to do it. In my entire experience I’ve never known a woman with children who has traded up post divorce. Speaking objectively. Mostly they have had to become step parents with all the pain and complexity that comes with. And then have had to deal with the father of their child for ever more afterwards, often in a toxic atmosphere. Just be grateful for what you have. In an abusive situation, yes, get the hell out, nothing is worse than that. Beyond that…no, until your kids are grown up, this is the best it gets.

You would end the marriage because you don't want to be in it. No one has to know you think he fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Yes it will be horrible for him and feel very mean to do, but it's that or live the rest of your life unhappy.

I, personally, refuse to not be happy. I'd rather not live than live in misery.

Christ, this is horrible

This.

You sound awful. Imagine knowing your husband felt the same about you. He sounds like a wonderful guy. I only hope he leaves you then you can find out how good you had it. You sound very childish and I only hope this is a wind up post. You also seem to rate your appearance very highly, do show us a photo. Your poor husband.

@JustPassingThruHere Well no. But you do know we can all read post history right? I’m not the one posting that I want to run away

I think that you are very lucky to be married to such a lovely sounding man, and would guess if you were to leave for greener pastures would regret it eventually. I am sure that he wouldn’t be short of offers though, as decent men seem to be in short supply. Could you really justify disrupting the lives of your children for such a reason?

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 you can’t make this stuff up.

Has celibacy got you angry and hallucinating?

Syphilis got you angry and hallucinating?????

Last post to you out of courtesy and maybe a life lesson you haven't had yet: I don't compromise on principles in my private or professional life.

If someone compromises on principles, they don't have any principles.

This knowledge may serve you at some point in your life.

Genuinely wish you the best.

I think you should leave him. Life is too short to be with someone who can't even bear to look at you while you're having sex. Hope your husband finds better and you get the man you deserve.

@Tessasanderson well she doesn’t find him attractive so I doubt she’ll really care. Means she doesn’t have to have sex with the lights off with him anymore.

In this relationship i would suggest your DH is the catch and you are incredibly lucky. It doesnt sound like he has changed in his appearance and in fact it sounds like he makes big efforts to look after himself.

Men tend to age well. What would you say if he started making comments in a few years time if a few wrinkles start appearing for you and maybe he should look elsewhere?