In a real predicament- think I’ve settled. Don’t fancy my DH

Someone is triggered 😂😂😂 Hilarious you’re getting so worked by my comment. Maybe look at your own life and see why that is? I usually find these kind of comments come from people who know their husbands don’t find them attractive anymore. Just because you lead a boring generic life doesn’t mean other people want to be stuck in your situation.

You’re posting to the same poster……

Again another one can’t read. I didn’t say stop calling her shallow 🤣🤣🤣 you guys need to go back to school.

Gotcha.

How do you suggest the OP approaches this with her husband?

That was aimed at @MyGreyStork saying “stop calling her shallow”.

I mean, what else should we call her….

Reading comprehension is not your strong point is it? Who said an open marriage was normal? Not me. And how to you know he won’t be open to it? I assume you don’t know the husband personally? Right.

Open marriages work for some people. It’s very narrow minded of you to think they don’t. It might not be your thing but plenty of couples are polyamorous, have kids and make it work for them. It’s better than being just another divorced couple. I suggest you be more open minded in future 😁

Absolutely!

Well, yeah, I was being kind. 😁 Though fuck knows why.

Let him go, he deserves to find his true love.

You don’t seem to have any logic or common sense do you? Open marriages are disgusting…. Why? If two people are happy to have sex outside their marriage who are you to judge? This is where your lack of logic comes in… they would mostly likely be getting divorced in anyway if one person didn’t consent to it 😆

I actually read a sad statistic that out of a large group of people of open marriages over sixty percent had one person say they did it to keep their marriage, something like eighty percent were women. It was in a magazine and there were quotes from men and women in the article. I read it around the time I started having marriage trouble and I was simultaneously sad and so angry. Saying that it made me stronger in my own life, vowing I’d never give in in a way that would take some of me in any way to keep my marriage going

And she’s beyond shallow!

My friend is admittedly shallow. I respect her for owning that she is. Maybe that’s something you need to do OP.

Like he’s likely to want that! Or does that not matter?

And an open marriage is “normal” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP can either kept the lights off, let him know and divorce, but the utter nonsense of she’s placated by having an open marriage to go shag someone better looking than you DH, is ridiculous.

Can we imagine if a husband said to his wife, sorry love I’ll stay but honestly I need to shag someone prettier or I’m off and that’ll be much worse for you!

It's quite sad that despite his several amazing qualities, you still feel so negatively towards your partner, to the extent you can't bear to see his face while being intimate? If my partner ever behaved/thought like that towards/about me, I would be distraught. How have his personality and the moments you have shared not made up for his lack of traditional good looks? Because with time, it's those things that matter more and make a person more attractive than looks. Perhaps you need to introspect what is important for you in a relationship and how it is reflecting in your behaviours and review what you bring to the table too.

I’ll have him if you don’t want him, he’ll he snapped up if you divorce

I doubt it would help the poor husband though.

@Letsgoroundagainnow Because the op said she has to have sex with the lights off… that isn’t normal is it? To suggest an open marriage is a much better suggestion than leaving him, who is otherwise a good man and husband. So yes, it is helping her a lot more than the other comments calling her shallow.

The reality is, you will never find a better man than him. As a single mother, your options will be much reduced and you will have to find from the numbers happy to take on responsibility for another man’s child, someone who is actually good and kind enough to do it.

In my entire experience I’ve never known a woman with children who has traded up post divorce. Speaking objectively. Mostly they have had to become step parents with all the pain and complexity that comes with.

Sadly this is true

I agree with not liking the term 'settled', I don't think it's been a helpful thing in general as an unrealistic lens to view marriage through.

OP I think some posters are being a bit unkind. I hope there's some good advice on here for you.

I agree the grass is always greener, except it isn't of course.

Have you been putting time into fostering a connection? Sometimes attraction can dip if you aren't making enough time for each other. I always think it's easy to be attracted to someone who you have fun or adventure with so you could do something fun or adventurous.

I also think sometimes there's a tendency to see our partner as someone who fulfills ALL our needs and really this shouldn't be true. Sometimes when you feel dissatisfied with a partner it's worth looking at all the areas of your life, whether you are happy and content or whether you age lacking something unrelated to your partner.

I think you need to leave him so he can find someone who will respect him for all his lovely qualities. You can go OLD and see how happy it makes you,

Try some therapy to find out why you run away from secure and happy love.

I can only judge on what you’ve written. You sound callous.