To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

I'm 51 and the bod is not too bad but I would only be going on top in the dimmest of lights or with my top on. I'd try avoid walking around too much naked in bright light, obviously. Lighting seems to be the theme!

All these people who say their partners think they are gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, etc. that's very sweet. But probably one of the many delusions we tell ourselves. I look at my 55 year old FWB and definitely don't that, but I do love havkng sex with him, love the feel of his skin, love specifuc parts of his body. And that's ok! The point I'm making is that none of us are physically perfect at any age and yet most people fancy and are fancied and just get on with the very fun business of kissing, sex, etc. But good lighting never did any harm 😁

I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongate

@Dontfuckingsaycheese I totally understand. All the posters who feel happy in their skin and think it’s no big deal- good for you, but not all of us are able to feel that way.

My late DH absolutely loved me to death, no matter what size I was, always told me I was beautiful, gorgeous etc BUT I lost weight at 50 and it left me with a saggy, wrinkly bag of a stomach. I once leant over and kissed him as I was stood getting dressed and he was lying in bed, he actually said ‘eugh’ as he saw my belly.

He immediately apologised, but I was devastated. I just can’t forget it.

If someone who loved me so completely, who had been with me 30 years, through pregnancy & childbirth, felt like that about my body how can I expect another man to find me attractive?

At 54, although now at the stage after bereavement I feel able to contemplate letting someone into my life again, I just don’t think I can put myself out there to risk a man feeling disgust for my body like that. I look fabulous in my size 10 clothes but, when they come off, I’m like a deflated old party balloon.

I go on the assumption that they've had a wife or other partner who was unlikely to have been perfect, likely seen postpartum body etc, and have realistic expectations, also that you would only want to be with a sensual type who can really appreciate you as a woman, and in my experience those types are less hung up on precise body images. I would just carry on being healthy, happy and exercising and be confident. If he is older unless he is obsessed with fitness and even then, bits will be slightly droopy, he's probably worried as well. In my experience also, the fact that you want sex actively will be 99% of the battle from his perspective, likely that would be more of a worry for him. Go for it and ignore any mean comments!

It’s not being mean,honest I would say.after all this woman does sound like a obsessive teenager,who is putting it around

You've really riled up mumsnet's bitter single audience, OP

Being worried in your mid-50's about how you look to a man around his 60's is unnecessary. Male vision by this time has blurred into rose-tinted spectacles for anyone athletic enough and bothered enough to undress and crawl into a bed for any more than a damn good snoring session 😁

Why are you sending videos to a random guy online ??

If I slouch my nipples are at my belly button.

Hilarious, that has brightened my day. Has the body produced other human beings at all? If so, it will be totally wrecked. Just sayin.

There's a really good book by Natalie Lue called "The Dream Girl and the Fantasy Relationship" I read it soon after it came out, so by 55 I'd long kicked the habit of becoming obsessed with strangers or their online avatars.

Relationships begin when you meet. And even then you don't see anything but eachother's 'best representative' for a few months at least. You've been sending pictures to a stranger - and if you want to do that, you can get money for it on Only Fans.

Actually this is very insightful @Dontfuckingsaycheese. DH's chest and abdomen are a criss-cross of scars - 9 in total, 2 of them huge - and he looks like he was put together by a not very talented seamstress. But while he gets embarrassed by them, for me, our DCs and DGC it's more a reminder of what he has had to go through to stay with us at times, and we don't see them as flaws in any way.

I love this - I don't know why but it's hit my funny bone 🤣🤣🤣

Who doesn't love a gnarly brown twig

God,don't send photos of yourself to anyone. Unless you are happy for the world to see it. Like literally a page in the news paper. Once you share anything like that you have no control over it or who is shared with.

I met my partner in my 50s.

he’s more than happy with my body and I with his so don’t please do those of us who met our partners older down.

but. You haven’t met him in months. He’s a messer. If he wanted to meet you - he would.

Not there yet. I have a few years to go. I have sock tits. They look like socks filled with sand. My legs look like a doner kebab. Not one that's been eaten from but a new one just put on the spit. Although, that's not a new thing I was called kebab legs at school. I have stretch marks everywhere. I always had a flat tummy but once I turned 45 a tire has started to appear.

What I realise is that I've always hated my body. However, I look back to what I hated 10 years ago and I actually looked great. I think I'll look back again in another 10 years and think I didn't look that gad. In the meantime my kids have no photos of me because I won't have photos taken with me in them.

You also seem to be really fixated on appearances.

Will you be critically evaluating his body too and finding flaws and holding them up to the light?

Stop self obsessing.

I’m presuming toning will help. Gym maybe yoga? In forties and certain areas still move and don’t stay firm. Please only do this for you. I’m concerned your sending pics to someone you have never met op.

You are unwise to share any intimate photos of your body with a complete stranger, because despite the fact that you think you know him from a few online conversations, you really don't. This could end badly and you could regret it for the rest of your life. But the thing that I can't get my head around is WHY haven't you met him? Do you live a long distance apart? Does he suggest meeting up or make excuses not to? Either way stop the photos and press him for a meeting, you will probably be very disappointed when you meet him in the flesh (most men you meet online use old photos or worse, other peoples photos) also, don't point out your flaws, that makes you sound very insecure. Be confident, be bold have fun but above all, be safe.
I really wish you luck in finding the right man but as someone else said, a decent man wouldn't encourage you to send photos but would be desperate to meet a confident 50 something women who likes her own body, so stop the photos and make this man that you are so "obsessed" by, a reality.

If he's older, you'll have nothing to worry about -you may well find it's more the other way round in the disappointment stakes!

I think you're making a mistake (for you, not him!) In curating pics and videos. You need to occupy your beautiful body as is, rather than enhancing with tec jiggery pokery, poses, lights and angles. Because when you see what you can look like with those things, it makes you hyper critical of your every day self.
If I were you, I cut down on the ooh look how good i can look this way and that business, and conversely, stop deliberately putting yourself into positions and staring at any parts you don't like. Be natural with yourself and reduce your mirror time (it's clearly a double edged sword!) so your appearance isn't such a focus.
As for him, unless he's very naive or a bit thick, he will have an idea of what women's bodies look like at various life stages, so shouldn't be at all surprised. And it works both ways remember, with significant difference between young and older male bodies, so hopefully you won't be disappointed in him.

My late 50s body looks great thanks to the goddess that is Caroline Girvan. Strong and healthy- I feel sexy every time I catch a glimpse of my muscles.

What a strange thread. You're hardly shy and retiring if you've shared videos and photos. Sounds like you're looking for casual sex so why care what he thinks of your body. Ffs have some more self respect.