To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

Heaven forbid a 55yo woman should have a bit of fun 🙄
I have a friend who's the same. She's 55, single and has been on Tinder quite a bit this last year getting up to all sorts of scandalous things and enjoying herself.
Why shouldn't she?
Some boring folk on here. And I say that as a boring 50yo with no sex drive!

There's always someone who will come along to point out something different.

I was replying to the poster who said the OP could have a grandchild who was a teenager and dating.

OP is 55.

Your social circle has nothing to do with the fact there are loads of 55 year olds with teenage grandchildren?

None of my social circle keep chickens, but I believe they exist...

Be careful - loads of men on the apps do this -keep you hanging on for months ramp up all the sex chat and the pics and talk of connection, the will you won't you meet stuff - it's a pyschological trap to make you become obsessed. But if he actually wanted a relationship he would meet you like a shot. My friend is in her 50s and on the apps- she falls for these ones all the time. Most are married, in a relationship, players or drinkers with ED issues which mean they are never going to go through with anything. Its just mindfuckery.
Also don't apologise or point out any of your perceived faults- why would you? He either likes you or he doesn't.

Not everyone is like your social circle. I have a friend who was a great grandma before she was 60.

Really? So OP would have had her son at 18, he could have had his first child at 18 and that would make the grandchild who was 'dating' 19 now.

Not very likely.

Most of my social circle were not grandparents will they were mid-late 60s.

Or course. Therefore they wouldn't pass due diligence and that would be the end of the conversation.

He absolutely, definitely is ‘some random guy’. You’ve never met him. If he can’t meet you for *insert reasons then what is he doing on dating sites? He could be married, living with someone, not who he says he is, using someone else’s photos, any number of things. Until you have met someone then that online presence is no more real than I am. I might be male, female, 35, 45, 55, 65, married, widowed, a city dweller, a country bumpkin, I might live abroad, I might be an employee at Mumsnet HQ and use this account in my coffee breaks. You simply do not know.

And saying it’s okay to send videos and photos to some random is fine because they could make an AI video of you because they’ve already seen a photo of your face is naive in the extreme.

Honestly, no photos or videos you don’t want making public is really dating rule number one.

Like a pp said, make a firm time limit to meet face to face within a week. If he can’t manage that then a) he has no business being on a dating site and b) what a disappointing relationship it would be hardly ever getting together.

I think I look ok, but I work out a lot (weights mostly). The only part of my body I dislike is my slightly saggy stomach. It’s not bad and if I could put up with the time out of the gym to recover, I would have a tummy tuck. I rely on working out for my mental health also, so don’t think I would survive 6-8 weeks with no exercise.

Generally I have had to come to terms with my body and the fact it won't go back to what it was pre-children, unless I did take the surgery route. That’s fine. I focus more on what it can do rather than what it looks like.

I don’t think it overly bothers DH, at least the hasn’t said anything!

Absolutely loads of 55 year olds have teenage grandchildren 🤦‍♀️

But the OP has said she wouldn't dissuade a teenage grandaughter from sending naked pics and videos online.

And that instead she'd advise her to do what makes her happy.

Absolutely loads of 55 year olds have teenage grandchildren 🤦‍♀️

But the OP has said she wouldn't dissuade a teenage grandaughter from sending naked pics and videos online.

And that instead she'd advise her to do what makes her happy.

57 today and look like a partially deflated old gym ball 😂I've also lost 3st and despite not being that happy in my skin I am happy being me and loved and desired by my partner of 13years. He fell for me when i looked like an inflated gym ball however so there is that. If a man is that worried about how you look either naked or clothed and not more concerned about whats between your ears he's not a man to keep in your life.

I don't have an issue, thanks.

You seem to protest too much.

This is even worse- that you chose to send pics without being asked!

There can't be valid reasons for not meeting for months. Only excuses.

Its a shame you don't just see a confident older woman. But that's your issue.

I'm going to sound like a bitch but here goes (it's what I was told when I did OLD sometimes bluntness is needed ).

You've not met him in months, he has no intention of meeting you, you've sent him photos and videos already and he still has an excuse not to meet you. You are either incredibly naive or stupid and desperate. You cannot build a romantic/sexual relationship with someone you've never met. At best he's a pen pal. Just because you've found his LinkedIn profile/have his surname doesn't mean he is a good person who won't use those photos. Just look at all those respectable business men with sexual assault allegations against them.

Why you're worrying about what he'll think when he sees you I don't know because I'll start doing OLD again myself (and I hated the thing) if he ever does meet you.

Have a bit of self respect and stop sending a random man you've never met photos of yourself. Until you meet him, he's still a stranger.

You haven’t actually met him yet so I’d hold off my expectations till then personally.

No need to say anything at all, he can take you as he finds you, let him make his own mind up just as you will make your own mind up when you meet him.

Acknowledge to yourself before you meet that there is a chance there will be no chemistry and you don’t click or find each attractive in real life (could be mutual, could be just one of you). It’s very common when you’ve only built rapport online.

Many people do not give their full name and surname on such sites or even in their emails or messages- they have aliases.

Your post implied you didn't give a toss about your appearance.

I'm pretty, smart, funny, incredibly successful in my job, creative and have built myself a wonderful home and family. I do have a very sexy, strong, fit and attractive body...

You forgot 'modest'

I'm 52, and my body has changed a lot since peri/going on HRT. I've gone from a 10/12 to a solid 12, and my tummy is no longer flat although I have a well defined waist. My body is strong, I lift weights, and fit, I walk at least 10K steps a day and my cardio score thing on my watch is "excellent" - but I am under no illusions that it looks like it did when I was 25! I'd like to lose weight but I also like wine and crisps. My DP doesn't look like he did when we met 20 years ago either so we're sagging together!

I actually do take photos of myself in my underwear/sports bra and shorts fairly regularly as I don't weigh myself. I keep them in a "hidden album" on my phone, and crop my head out of the shot, even though it's only me who has access to them! I would be very wary about sending images to a person online.

I don't think that sending naked photos to someone you've never met can be described as due diligence.

Yes there are lots of genuine men out there, but you just need to read a few posts on here to know that there are plenty who are most certainly not even giving their real name, never mind have genuine intentions.

there are a lot of genuine men online, as well as the idiots you are talking about.

Thing is they’re not men who would welcome unsolicited nude photos. My bloke would have run for the hills if I’d done that - and not because my body repulsed him.

OP I'm nearly 53 and have been single/no sex for the last 11 years.

I ended up being 7 stone overweight for reasons I won't bore you with.

I am now 3 and a half stone down (doing it without WL drugs and it's coming off very slowly at 1lb a week now).

I'm eating super healthy and only doing walking really as exercise.

I did plan to do some exercise to firm up the skin on the tops of my arms and legs but instead I have been lazy and been using Murad body resculpt cream which I have to say does seem to be working on my arms. So I started using it on my stomach and breasts as well.

My stomach seems to be recovering amazing well from being so overweight but of course there is time yet. I expect if I ever get to the right weight for my height it will be a little bit untoned and loose but I could be wrong.

Breasts I can see a difference in that they look looser and saggier. However I know doing arm weights can work the muscle under them as I used to do this so I may go back to this or I may not.

I had stretchmarks before from puberty/high cortisol some quite bad.

Have they got worse. I think they probably have but it's hard to tell. I mean if you have a billion stretchmarks, do you notice when you have a billion and ten.

Never had cellulite so don't seem to have any again although I would rather have cellulite that my stretchmarks.

I am debating given dating another shot if I can reach my correct weight. I haven't decided yet.

Will I be nervous getting naked with someone. Absolutely. More so than when i was younger but I was never that body confident anyway.

Like you though i am quite surprised at how good parts of me still look although i am still overweight so I suppose that could be helping.

I do feel more accepting of myself now I think and I feel sad at how I was so hard on myself when i was younger. No man ever made me feel bad about my body - I did that all by myself (self esteem wrecked by abusive, chaotic childhood).

You have placed alot of expectations by not meeting for ages but I understand how that can happen. I wouldn't send someone naked pictures but that's just me. If you are really worried why not send him a completely unfiltered naked one to show the real you.

However don't forget if you are actually sleeping together he will have smells, taste, touch and all kinds of things he does not have in a picture so I honestly doubt he will notice.

Plus don't forget men must be used to woman looking different naked to when clothed. Think padded bras and tummy tuck pants.

I wish you luck.

Some seriously cynical posts on here! You really underestimate people's abiliy to do their due diligence.

As long as you have a surname and a photo you are able to check an awful lot out on the internet, if you are savvy. Not saying people don't get fooled, but there are a lot of genuine men online, as well as the idiots you are talking about.

I'm sorry OP, but he is some random guy. You haven't met him and you describe yourself as being 'obsessed' with him. You have no idea what he is like, he could be married for all you know. Why have you not met yet?