To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

Valid and personal, thereby private reasons…….not particularly relevant

So why is he on a dating site?

The whole purpose is to make a connection and meet.

That’s like applying for a job, getting it, agreeing a starting date, then saying ‘no thanks, I’m quite happy in my current job’. Just why?

People on dating sites who can’t or won’t meet for whatever reason have no business being on there.

If you already had an in person relationship, then three months later he said ‘look, I can’t meet for the next two months because blah blah reasons, that’s one thing. But this is something different. I’m on a dating chat elsewhere and the general feeling is if you go away for a weekend, no problem. If you go away for a week, pause your profile because it’s daft. You’re (meaning him) leading people on, taking advantage of the fact there are a lot of broken hearted people out there and some of them will allow their imaginations to get the better of them.

In answer to your original question, your body is fine. Be the best you can eg exercise for your own health, but people all like different things. For every person who likes fit and taut and slim, there’s someone else who likes squishy and bumpy. Or overweight and comforting. Or muscular and with the medals to prove it. Or a couch potato to lean on while watching tv. Be you, but be the best and happiest version of you.

Why don’t you start swiping again, see if anyone wants to meet for a coffee? It’s too easy to romanticise someone who is far away and not sitting in front of you.

Seriously. It’s not my intention to withhold info, but this is not particularly relevant.

It is 100% relevant, unless it's perhaps a health issue, an elderly relative who needs care, working away etc.

Otherwise all this is a fantasy built on phone calls.

Why would you show an unknown man your body by photos and videos?
You have far more to you than that. You don't need to wind them in by doing that. Makes you appear desperate, even if you're not.

Posters are on your side. We don't want you to get hurt.

I did ask!

I disagree. I don’t think men like extremes of weight. DH finds very thin as unattractive as ultra fat. But there a many sizes between .He likes Sara from Dragon’s Den( pre weight loss as well as after) and he likes Holly Willoughby and he likes Jennifer Anniston. He says it’s the person/ character. But they all have pretty faces so that’s what is more important to him.

Well not porn exactly but some of them were suggestive 😁

"Grown men aren't looking for teenagers with perfect bodies – and if they are, you wouldn't want to have sex with them anyway."

Grown men ARE looking for perfect bodies at least, it's just that unless they are Adonis themselves they can't get them, so they shag whatever they can get, sorry but that's the truth. You can love yourself and your body as you age, but don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll ever be that 25 Yr old again, because even if you are slim and take care of yourself you can't hold back time.
Men don't really like weight on a woman I will say that, this is all gleaned from working in a male environment and having 'banter' 🙄with them unguarded, they show their true colours and for the most part it ain't nice.

Agree

LOL.

Some posters have no sense of humour.

Cheer up.

I look like an elongated potato in a sock.

I’m in my 40s though, so plenty of time to progress to looking like a jacket potato in a sock.

What do you mean "We need to know". That's the OP's business alone, not yours, and certainly not everyone on this thread.

You are starting to sound rather over-invested!

Don't you know women never want to have a fling? Only a full blown relationship leading to a proposal will do for literally all women everywhere.

And 40 year old women never enjoy hot sex with a good looking younger man, for heaven's sake Goody Blossomtoes, how could you think such a thing?! Shame on you ;)

Has he sent you pics of himself 😉

Are the phone chats sexual ones where you both do stuff on video?

We need to know.

Well actually on typing that out I was beginning to think it sounded quite practical and great for a bloated tummy day...

She didn’t want a relationship with him. She quite clearly and specifically said it was a fling. There’s no bubble for your unnecessary nastiness to burst.

I'm not one for thinking women are necessarily bitter, humourless, spiteful miserable bastards at the drop of a hat, but there sure are some of that sort on this thread 😅

How dare any of you enjoy sex and being sexual! Reeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

You do realise you were a notch on that 24 year olds bed post, something he could brag to his mates about?! 24 year olds don't want relationships with a 40 year old single mother. Sorry to burst your bubble.

If that's your fetish, go for it.

What did you say?

I’d love to have that feeling of really liking a guy but I would say don’t sleep with him really quickly, get him hooked on your personality first because then if there is something about your body that isn’t exactly great he is already hooked so it won’t matter…..also work out what positions may not be the most flattering and steer him towards other stuff the first few times ye sleep together

Unless he's working on the international space station, it is rather unusual to have taken this long to actually meet face to face. That would worry me. It sounds as if you have fallen for a fantasy.

Sometimes obsessed is just used as a figure of speech to mean you really like someone. It isn’t to be taken literally.

Just another vote for be really careful about what you send people. You shouldn't be thinking "well it's not hard-core porn, of course no one will want to upload and look at this" and instead understand that there are loads of websites where pictures are uploaded. Nude, face or not, in underwear even fully clothed if it's a website where men request a specific person and they can then create their own AI explicit videos from that picture.

Our teens and tweens are now unstanding the risks here, don't get caught out OP.