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Original poster

To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

330 replies

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 28/08/2025 21:12

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 29/08/2025 00:17

Ooh. Good point! I guess I am old enough to have a dating granddaughter, but my son is only in his 20s.
I’ve always said to him I’m useless with relationship advice, having had very little in terms of that. Single mum from the start. He’s actually grown into a lovely, kind, pretty levelheaded young man. Nothing like me, except for the kind bit 🙄
What I would say to this granddaughter though, I guess, is, do what you think is right, and what’s right for you. Don’t worry what other people think. If there’s something you want, go for it, and be true to yourself and safe about it.

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 29/08/2025 00:16

Another who thinks you're really silly. You realise that you could just turn up to meet him and something about him just gives you the creeps? That has happened so many people I know. I had a couple of online relationships where we met after several months, long ago and back in the day of the early Internet, and it took me a hell of a long time to reconcile the person I'd been speaking to with the reality in front of me. No photos were sent back in those days and I was so glad of that. When you say you're pretty sure he's not married, would you feel free to call him in the middle of the night if you needed something?? How accessible is he? I would hold back on the sex talk and just try to get to know him properly.

ChiaraRimini · 29/08/2025 00:11

We never seem to ask about whether we will find men’s ageing bodies attractive.
What about him OP? If he’s a few years old then you then he’s likely going to be in a similar boat- dad bod, losing hair on his head/gaining it on his back, etc. men can get varicose veins, wrinkles too, etc etc
will this put you off him?
how would you feel if he told you he was worried you wouldn’t find his body attractive?
I’m early 50s and my bf is a little older but I wouldn’t trade him for 2 30 year olds (Friends reference for those who remember!)

Enough4me · 29/08/2025 00:09

Hot

(well, if I'm having a menopausal flush, not quite 50 but butting in).

DryAndBalmy · 29/08/2025 00:08

I’m 58 and 9st 10.
I think I look ok for my age but obviously nothing like my younger self.

My bottom is a droopy little thing these days, my tummy is porridge, my boobs are lifeless and my skin is just ‘agey. A bit loose and wobbly even though I’m not fat.

I’ve been with my husband for ever and he thinks I look fab. I look better for my/ our wedding age than he does to be honest.

I understand why you’re feeling a bit nervous about your body but please have a word with yourself - you’re doing great and if someone wants a Barbie doll they can make a trip to Hamleys.

Pleaae be careful though OP. You don’t know this man from Adam. Please take ALL sensible precautions when you move this from online to face-to-face.

x

Justchilling07 · 29/08/2025 00:06

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 28/08/2025 21:55

I may be a 55 year-old professional and independent woman, but in some ways incredibly unsophisticated and insecure.

And incredibly naïve to send wank videos to a man you've never even met.

If you had a grandaughter would you advise her that this was sensible or foolish?

Show quote history

Granddaughter! Op is 55, not 65.How many women do you know, that has a teenage/adult granddaughter at 55!?

Original poster
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 29/08/2025 00:04

Calliopespa · 28/08/2025 23:59

You sound so fixated on the physical to the exclusion of other aspects.

Show quote history

Well those other aspects would come under the getting to know him a bit more. Well a lot more. I want to know everything but don’t want to get all Jeremy Paxman on him too soon!

OP posts:
Maverick66 · 29/08/2025 00:04

58 here ..married a life time ...look like a melted candle when naked .husband still fancies me though Smile

Calliopespa · 28/08/2025 23:59

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 28/08/2025 22:29

I don’t think he’s married. I have never felt a flicker of a concern here.
I hear what you’re saying, but I am not going to chance another 15 years in the vain hope I meet someone IRL…
I’m going for it now. There is a man I fancy and want to get to know him a bit more and do nice things with his body. What’s the harm in that?

Show quote history

You sound so fixated on the physical to the exclusion of other aspects.

Calliopespa · 28/08/2025 23:56

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/08/2025 23:52

It's funny I've noticed that as I age, whilst I still remain 'trim' in size, now I'm in my 60s there's droopy bits here and there. I'm not too worried about it and maybe I might devote some time to gym exercise to get some tone again once I can take my foot off the pedal.

I think playing and working hard and keeping my ass off a seat for the majority of my working life has paid out on the fitness front for me although my 'face is a mess'.

You know the old saying about after a certain age its either your bum or your face.

Calliopespa · 28/08/2025 23:55

thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 23:06

Get some great undies, lovely supportive sexy bra and nice crotchless knickers - there are plenty that are not skimpy, I know from experience. I say crotchless because then you don't have to take them off if you get carried away in the moment, unless you want to.

Never allow full light, like never - diffused light from a crack in the curtains will do fine.

This is precisely what I did the first time I knew we were going to have sex 😅 was having the same fears as you, I'd been married before and nobody had seen me naked except my ex and time and kids had done their worst, as everything is to say the least rather melted looking. But underwear exists for a reason 😅

He absolutely loved it, btw, so much so that we had a mad steamy passionate courtship, got married and are still happily married and having lots of sex in our late 50s, with my wobbly tummy and all my other wobbly bits. And when I feel a bit more risque I still whip out the sexy undies.

The good thing is that men of a certain age weren't raised on plastic boobed pornbots, and are generally a lot more grateful for us just turning up and showing an interest in sex at all than the young men of today seem to be.

In fact how about a crotchless full-body, Spanx-like, skin-coloured kind of wetsuit thing?

You can DTD without worrying one iota.

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/08/2025 23:52

It's funny I've noticed that as I age, whilst I still remain 'trim' in size, now I'm in my 60s there's droopy bits here and there. I'm not too worried about it and maybe I might devote some time to gym exercise to get some tone again once I can take my foot off the pedal.

I think playing and working hard and keeping my ass off a seat for the majority of my working life has paid out on the fitness front for me although my 'face is a mess'.

Calliopespa · 28/08/2025 23:51

Petrolitis · 28/08/2025 21:19

How have you got to the age of 55 and yet are still so absolutely obsessed by the male gaze?

Christ the last thing I'm worrying about is how hot I look for the opposite sex. Most of them just want something with a pulse. Which generally mature women have worked out.

Maybe take some time off to work out why you only value yourself as a perky pair of tits?

I was wondering more or less the same. The body may be in its fifties but ...

Masmavi · 28/08/2025 23:43

Petrolitis · 28/08/2025 21:19

How have you got to the age of 55 and yet are still so absolutely obsessed by the male gaze?

Christ the last thing I'm worrying about is how hot I look for the opposite sex. Most of them just want something with a pulse. Which generally mature women have worked out.

Maybe take some time off to work out why you only value yourself as a perky pair of tits?

Wow. So much anger at another woman’s genuine and heartfelt question.

Waitingfordoggo · 28/08/2025 23:39

Well I’m ‘only’ 48 but skin is hanging. My face and boobs are terribly saggy and I think my arse is beginning to head south. But I’m slim and lean with plenty of muscle. I don’t like to see myself naked but OH still seems pretty keen.

marshmallowfinder · 28/08/2025 23:35

Petrolitis · 28/08/2025 21:19

How have you got to the age of 55 and yet are still so absolutely obsessed by the male gaze?

Christ the last thing I'm worrying about is how hot I look for the opposite sex. Most of them just want something with a pulse. Which generally mature women have worked out.

Maybe take some time off to work out why you only value yourself as a perky pair of tits?

Yes, I thought exactly this. Also, as a fifty something woman, I'm surprised at you blowing your own trumpet and describing yourself as damn hot. If you are so sure, where's all this angst come from? Who gives a shit what some man thinks?

MrsRuthFisher · 28/08/2025 23:27

Yep, echoing pp, my partner thinks I'm gorgeous apparently - we didn't meet until I was 40, and I was even more overweight then than I am now. Fifteen years later and my tits have sagged a bit, my stomach is fat and squishy, and I've added a couple of chins to the mix.

The thing is, it's all about the chemistry, isn't it? You won't know until you meet, but I seriously doubt that you have anything to worry about.

BIossomtoes · 28/08/2025 23:07

cupfinalchaos · 28/08/2025 21:41

I’m 57 and the shock never lessens every time I see myself naked.. it’s horrible. But here’s the thing.. dh thinks I’m the sexiest thing alive. I’ve told him he needs new glasses. If they’re really into you, they don’t see reality.

This. My bloke thinks I’m beautiful. It’s perfectly obvious that objectively I’m not but I’m not going to argue with him.

thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 23:07

HelenaWaiting · 28/08/2025 23:03

What do I look like naked? Like a sort of gnarly, brown twig.

Sorry for laughing. At least twig means you're not fat like me, I am more like a semi melted marshmallow.

thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 23:06

Get some great undies, lovely supportive sexy bra and nice crotchless knickers - there are plenty that are not skimpy, I know from experience. I say crotchless because then you don't have to take them off if you get carried away in the moment, unless you want to.

Never allow full light, like never - diffused light from a crack in the curtains will do fine.

This is precisely what I did the first time I knew we were going to have sex 😅 was having the same fears as you, I'd been married before and nobody had seen me naked except my ex and time and kids had done their worst, as everything is to say the least rather melted looking. But underwear exists for a reason 😅

He absolutely loved it, btw, so much so that we had a mad steamy passionate courtship, got married and are still happily married and having lots of sex in our late 50s, with my wobbly tummy and all my other wobbly bits. And when I feel a bit more risque I still whip out the sexy undies.

The good thing is that men of a certain age weren't raised on plastic boobed pornbots, and are generally a lot more grateful for us just turning up and showing an interest in sex at all than the young men of today seem to be.

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 28/08/2025 23:05

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 28/08/2025 22:59

Your post made me smile. Yep. I acknowledged I’m not one for the wisest of decisions. 🙄
I have posted on here over the years over many topics, from evangelising about baby car-seats to offering fantastic tips when the fuel crisis loomed…Nothing overly noteworthy.
Tbh I like it that my pictures turn him on like that. We’re all different I guess, and I’m doing me. And hopefully him before too long.

Edited
Show quote history

Obviously you missed the threads from distressed women whose photos and videos have been circulated, and from those who had to contact police due to being blackmailed...

Shag him if/when you meet him but don't give him 'evidence' of it.

HelenaWaiting · 28/08/2025 23:03

What do I look like naked? Like a sort of gnarly, brown twig.

SummerCanDoOne · 28/08/2025 23:01

I'm 50 next month, considerably overweight and probably look like the Pilsbury doughboy naked.

Didn't stop me resurrecting my sex life 8 years post divorce last year and all has been well.

Good luck!

Original poster
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 28/08/2025 22:59

CroissantChops · 28/08/2025 22:54

You sound very silly for a woman in her 50s - sorry to be patronising but honestly! You’re sending videos and photos to some bloke you’ve never met. For him to wank over.

you are the porn.

And you’re obsessed with him. With what exactly? You’ve never clapped eyes on him in reality. You sound like an old time poster who’ wasn’t quite rooted in reality but I can’t quite recall her name ..

Your post made me smile. Yep. I acknowledged I’m not one for the wisest of decisions. 🙄
I have posted on here over the years over many topics, from evangelising about baby car-seats to offering fantastic tips when the fuel crisis loomed…Nothing overly noteworthy.
Tbh I like it that my pictures turn him on like that. We’re all different I guess, and I’m doing me. And hopefully him before too long.

OP posts:
CroissantChops · 28/08/2025 22:54

You sound very silly for a woman in her 50s - sorry to be patronising but honestly! You’re sending videos and photos to some bloke you’ve never met. For him to wank over.

you are the porn.

And you’re obsessed with him. With what exactly? You’ve never clapped eyes on him in reality. You sound like an old time poster who’ wasn’t quite rooted in reality but I can’t quite recall her name ..

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