If you didn’t send your child to nursery ?

Are you including Pre-School in that?

Both of mine went to Pre-school. Only one went to Nursery.. and that was down to him being disabled and needing the extra professional input with his speech/co-ordination.

I wasn't judged for keeping DD home til she was old enough to attend Pre-school. Reasons i didn't send her was Ds was at School, and i couldn't find a nursery that would work around his school schedule with the free 15 hours allowance (see previous comment about his disability)

@OJR do you mean before the age of 3.
I sent mine at 3 because that's pre-school and part of the school system (first year of Foundation Stage).
I didn't send before then because really that's childcare and I didn't need or would have been able to afford it.
No one cared though. Why would they?

Nah, I still disagree. It's ridiculous to attempt to get children "school ready". Children shouldn't have to be preparing for school when they're three. Schools should be ready to receive 5yr olds.
Where does it end? "Better put your 1yr old in nursery so they're pre-school ready!"

If Reception was truly "play based" it should feel like a comfortable setting that would take minimal "getting used to". And a pre-school or nursery can't get a child used to the school's routine anyway. Each setting is unique.

I appreciate this is an ideal scenario but parents shouldn't be pressured to go against what they want to do and what they feel is best for their child just because our school system doesn't suit everyone (and never really will, no matter how much pre-school education a child goes to).

FWIW, I probably will send my DS to pre-school because I think he'll enjoy the social aspect. But it won't be to.please his future teacher because he conforms.

Interesting… how could the teachers tell? Can you give some examples of the things those who went to nursery could do that the other non-nursery kids couldn’t?

Dc3 didn't go. The one that dc2 went to moved to the other side of town and there were no others near the older dc school. I had a poorly baby who was in and out of hospital and i just couldn't do it. He was fine and the health visitor saw him more frequently than normal because he wasn't in nursery/pre school to check on his development.

Mine go/went to a childminder until starting school and I didn't send them to nursery because I felt they got better care (smaller setting, less illnesses were also a factor ha) with her.

An understanding of the routine of the school day. What it means to be part of a class, to participate in things and get along with a largish group of classmates. Increased confidence when going into a school setting.

I wouldn't judge anyone on this as kids can do great without it if they do have really good parents providing them with lots of opportunities. But I do think it's really helpful for kids to go to nursery/preschool from 3. Whenever I worked in reception classes the teachers always said they could tell the difference between the children that went to nursery/preschool and those that didn't.

An anxious parent who keeps their child at home may be denying their child independence but that comes from a wider pattern of behaviour.

A "pre-school education" isn't compulsory and not is it necessary. What does it give a child that a hands-on, involved, curious, and loving parent can't give them?

No-one would accept him because of his disabilities.

The only nursery that could deal with her physical disabilities was 70 minutes away. Wasn't worth having her in the car for that long for a shorter day (I'd have had to take her after her siblings went to school and collect her early to collect them) so she didn't go.

Some folks absolutely did judge, but I give a shit about those judgements as much as I care about their endless judgements about other things. When they're in my shoes and have the first clue about dealing with a child with her health and disabilities I may give a shit about their opinions, until then their "I would..." statements mean nothing.

Only if you don't send them to preschool.

I would judge someone for denying their child a pre school education, but then the only time I’ve known it happen has been because the mother has been too anxious to let her child go before she is forced to.

We got a nanny with my first because she was only 8 months when I returned to work. She then went onto pre school at 3.
my second will be 1.5 years when I go back to work so we’ll likely consider nursery.
no judgement from anyone but it is a pita going through PAYE/Pension and having to actually manage the nanny, as good as she was it can be more awkward dealing with issues as they arise than it would be with a nursery.

Do your close friends and family really judge you like that? I’ve never had any of my friends or family grill me about my parenting decisions and judge me. A stranger has never asked me, and I wouldn’t care what their feelings were about it anyway.

I think if this is something you are worried about then it’s probably a good idea to cut these toxic people from your life.

You go first.