If you didn’t send your child to nursery ?

I’m not twisting your words at all! Have another look at your post…..

Mine is going mornings next month at a school preschool. We can still do something in the afternoon. 🤷

Well that is a way to twist my words... I can't imagine not doing any form of childcare until school and that being the first time they aren't with parents or any other family.

No, I haven't sent my child to nursery but I have worked in preschools and cared for children that attend a range of settings so I can assure you I have a very good grasp of childcare settings.

But the more you type, the more you prove my point. I still don't see what your nursery is giving your child that I'm not giving mine?
You can be loving and not go on outings (but again, I said more than just "loving") but you can also go to a nursery that doesn't take children on trips.
And yeah, playgroups can be chaotic but there's a far high adult-child ratio which (generally) means children are better supervised.

It seems the benefits of nursery Vs home depends on both the nursery and the parent.
I am confident that with my education and experience I can provide plenty for my son and of at least equal quality to some of the settings I've worked with. And I believe most parents can too.

I don't have a negative view of most nurseries or pre-schools. I just don't think they're necessary for ANY of the things you listed. You really don't think my child can learn to get along with other kids despite attending several playgroups a week as well as hosting playdates and socialising with a consistent group of mixed-age children in our community?!

Well done you!

We were asked constantly if DD was going as soon as she turned 2. I think people worry about it more if you only have or plan to have 1 child. They seem to imagine that you just stay home with your poor kid all alone 🤣 In contrast my second DD is now 15 months and not one person has mentioned it. Probably because she goes to every group/ play date that her sister goes to so there's no questioning her socialising and people trust your judgement a lot more if you are not a first time parent.

I don't really notice if people are judging me. I make decisions I can stand by and explain if necessary. I sent mine at age 2 for the 15 hours, then 4 days when they were 3. They enjoyed it. I'd not send them earlier because I don't trust strangers to care for my baby as I would.

If I wasn't in a position to be this choosy I wouldn't have had children.

I know lol. I was very skint when my kids were small despite working full time. No childcare help then either. But managed to play games and read boks with them ( bought for pennies at bootsale) go blackberry picking in the woods, kids farm that was free to enter. 50p toddler groups in church hall

It was exhausting working full time with 2 small kids and having no support.

Loads you can do with a 2 year old that doesn't cost money. Most of the " things" that are sold to parents to enrich kids lives can be recreated at a fraction of the cost

Mine went to nursery two days a week because I worked. If I hadn’t worked I would not have sent them to nursery or pre school. I don’t think they needed it. I am basing this on my children. Couldn’t care less what other people do.

i got judged for sending my 2 year old to child minder 5 days a week.

They have to base it on something. And being skint puts a huge limit on what you can do. Also being skint can be demoralizing and exhausting. Which also puts huge limits on what you can do.

Strange they based the nursery for 2 year old on money though I believe. It doesn't mean that just because you are skint you can't interact with your child and do things with them

I think the main benefit of pre school from 3 ish is independent socialisation. Children learn to get on with others in group, how to work things out. They also get used to things like sitting down, take turns, getting a teacher’s attention when they need something and when that is and isn’t appropriate in a less formal, more supportive in terms of adult ratios than school.

Ive taken my kids to loads of playgroups. It’s not the same as a nursery. My child knew I was there and I was the one who stepped in if there was a fight over a toy etc.

I can’t see how going to a decent, well run nursery for 3 hours a day couldn’t be in a pre-schooler’s best interests. You can still take them for walks, to the shops etc.

Yeah I don’t need to re read something as I understand it perfectly and stand by what I said . Since it seems you haven’t sent your kids you seem to have a negative view to nursery, let me help dissuade a few things

• my kids went to a woodland nursery so we’re in the woods all the time
• they had trips to the library, parks, farms, zoo etc
• they also did activities not offered - sports for example, swimming etc

And no not all parents do the things you have said. You can love your child and not take them to daily playgroups. Playgroups are as ‘chaotic’ as nursery at times as well. But yea a lot of them do. Most teachers will also say they can always see the difference between nursery kids and kids who have never been so it isn’t all negative.

Socialisation is important and I’m not sure an hour three times a week is the same thing. We agree to disagree but I think your perception of nursery isn’t always accurate.

Mine didn’t. DMIL looked after her and we had an Au Pair for a year when she was 4 (I worked part time for a this year). DMIL is an ex Primary School head teacher, DD had a varied and educational week with her - lots of activities and meeting up with other children almost daily. Our Au Pair was Spanish (DD now speaks Spanish pretty well because of it!).

Just thinking about this. I wouldn't dream of saying (because I don’t think it) that you send your child to nursery/pre-school because you couldn’t wait to get rid of them. So why do you think it’s OK to say the opposite of people who don’t?

No, I was a SAHM (although this was 25-30 years ago) so no intention of putting them
in nursery. They both went to preschool from 3 though - v part time to start with, increasing slowly until they were doing one whole day and 4 half days just before starting school.

All of my friends did different things. Some had children in full time nursery, others had part time arrangements or child minders and others like me stayed at home. I don’t remember any judgement though. Or if there was I missed it! Everyone does what they need to do don’t they??

They got used to the classroom when they started being in it.

They were fine leaving me when they went to school. Really fine. They're happy kids and they love school - just because they were home until school doesn't mean they were hanging on to my legs.

I really didn't have a reason - I just like my children and didn't see it as a problem to have them with me. If I had had a 9-5 then they would have gone to childcare, I'm not at all against it or have any idealistic views on it.

They're happy, they're well-adjusted, I'm happy, I'm well-adjusted. I just didn't see the need, that's literally it.

🤣

Yes-there’s a real Carrie vibe in our house!

When did they get used to leaving you though? If they haven't done that and then go to school that is a bit of a shock. Plus you say there is no reason but usually parents like yourself it is because you don't want to be parted from your child.

I think that is ideal preparation for school and getting used to classrooms etc.

Indeed 😂
I used to volunteer as a parent helper in my daughter's class.
We did a trip in Reception that basically was a walk around our area. Several of the children who were the ones who had been in daycare since babyhood had never been to any of the local shops or the library etc.
The "stay at home" kids would be excitedly pointing out things like "This is where we go to buy milk" or "I go there to get my books" etc.
They knew more about the local area and community than the daycare children.

What's your reference on children's ability to play with peers, out of interest? Also, are you strictly limiting it to "play", as in a game they're both following?

Because 1) there are lots of interactions besides play at nursery and 2) there are different age ranges given for play.

For example my son's behaviour changed at nursery when he became the oldest in his group. He was mimicking the adults, in particular "looking after" the babies. One little girl needed a lot of encouragement, and he sat with her feeding her cereal (she was 1yo, he was 18m). The thought she liked it because she had a big brother at home that did the same. Positive interaction includes routine and shared experience, not just play.

When we went on holiday, it was obvious that the toddlers (again, 14-24m ish) would gravitate to each other, and the international language of babies is "let's run around and scream together". Happens all the time at the park too.

It's not turn taking play, it's not parallel play, it's not structured games. It's just bleeding obvious that they enjoy seeing another young child.