If you didn’t send your child to nursery ?

They grew up in a more communal environment and families were larger.

How did people manage to grow into socialised human beings in the times when nursery wasn't something that existed yet?

Interesting thread. DD doesn't go to nursery at all. I work part time 2 days a week (my DM has DD those two days). My DM and husbands DM were both SAHMs and we always planned that I would do the same. We might send DD to preschool once she turns 3 just for the social aspect but that's still TBC.

We didn’t send our daughter- I choose to take 4 years off work. During that time I planned my business. My husband also reduced to part time (he is a consultant so choose his hours) so he would take a project for a few weeks and then take a few weeks off. Our daughter is now 10 and she speaks 3 languages fluently and is 2-4 years ahead of expected academic levels for her age depending on subject. She has just started senior school and had no issues when she started school. It was the best decision we made and we were financially comfortable enough to do this- and I would never swap those years. I never got judgement to my face from people we know but didn’t stop random strangers. I wasn’t anxious I just thought I could do a way better job of caring and educating her than a nursery or childminder. But I have never passed judgement on others choices by BF got a nanny and went back to work at 3 months and that suited her and her family.

I was replying to the broader theme of the exchange - a poster who was saying that preschool is essential to get children 'classroom ready' and that schools are they way they are so why not get them used to it early.

Bit different if parents are present though

When I first opened the thread I thought I was going to be about not attending nursery) preschool etc until school age.

Never went to nursery I was a SAHM to my 4. They went to playschool term time 5 mornings a week September before starting school.

Mine went to their school pre-school class at three for half days are we counting that as nursery?

As babies I worked part time, DH worked compressed hours and my parents had them a few days a week so no need for nursery but if I had to use it I would have and wouldn’t have cared one bit if people judged me or not.

Yes.
Reception Year is meant to be the preparation for school.
My girl also did a year at Nursery Class in the school at age 3 (3 hours in the morning).
So nursery class at the school (aka Foundation Stage 1) was her preparation for being away from me, gain a bit of independence, hang out with her peers etc.
Back in my day (early 80s) that was called "going to playgroup" and many 3 year olds went. The only difference was it wasn't 5 days a week - probably twice a week.
Then you have Reception (aka Foundation Stage 2) and this is the more formal school style setting where children start getting "school ready".
In my day this was called "still going to playgroup" until the term after you turned 5 and off to school you went.
Foundation Stage IS the preparation for school. You don't need preparation before that.

None of mine went.

The first one, we travelled a lot and he was going to be home educated anyway. He didn’t go anywhere until he started school age 9.

Second, no need. I was at home and she was a lovely, easy child. I ran all the local playgroups and activities , so she was out at them with me a few times a week and we had loads of friends her age. She went to school for reception.

3rd, she’s late August born. Again, I am at home, there wasn’t much point. She started reception a week after turning 4.

All have been just fine. No issues with any of them.

I was told I was going all sorts of damage by not sending them to nursery. Put my 23 year old, 11 year old and 5 year olds in a line up with children who did go to nursery and I’d give you a million pounds if you can pick them out from the ones who did go.

People seem to forget that there’s something called “Reception”…..

Why the obsession with nursery being seen as teaching “conforming”, children can learn to sit down & play in a group in nursery and still have loads of fun - themes of the week, movie days, arts & crafts, trips out, baking, dress up etc

Because they learn what school 'is' when they're there.

If all you want is for them to conform there'll be plenty of time for that, why start it any earlier?

I’d agree it’s essential for the functioning of a classroom. The reality is whether you agree with it or not, school is what school is, so why not go prepare for it.

I didn't send my kids to preschool or daycare because I think being home is in general better for them, and the job I had pre-children would have meant 10 hour days for them between work and commute.

No one ever said anything to me about it, but most would probably know I wouldn't care about what they thought.

My children go for two mornings a week, because they have a local grandparent willing and able to provide full time childcare for other hours, plus DH and I both work flexible hours so it’s never ‘full days’.
We’ve definitely been judged for it as if we’re depriving my children of a social life. I also feel like I’m considered snobby for not putting them in full time childcare.
We’re just doing what works for our family.

Nursery is for childcare. If you don’t need it, don’t use it. I didn’t. One to one (with lots of play dates etc) is better.

Two children here, neither went to nursery. Both slotted into school and the routine very well.

It depends whether you view conformity as a good thing. If you believe all five-year -olds should reach the same arbitrary standard in order to compete the same tasks in the same way, then it's absolutely a good thing. In fact, it's essential for the functioning of the classroom. But it's a mistake to think this is the only way, or the best way. Children tell us what they need.We think we know best, or teachers, or ofsted, or the government, anyone but the child crying at drop-off.

God no, of course I wasn't judged for it (to my knowledge)

I didn't send my 3 kids (all adults now).

My mum had 5 kids and none of us went to nursery either.

There's nothing wrong with nurseries, we just didn't see the need.

It's never occurred to me that there might be some weirdo out there judging us! 👀🤣

So you never took your kids regularly to community playgroups then?

All those things can be experienced outside of nursery or preschool, too.

I can’t see how being “school ready” could be a bad thing.

I'd take an educated guess that they were more institutionalised. Call it school ready or whatever positive spin people like to use, but children who have been to nursery are likely to be easier to manage because they've already been indoctrinated into a system. They learn to comply. It makes life easier for teachers, often parents and sometimes, the children themselves. I don't judge anyone for doing what the majority do, nor do I judge anyone for doing it differently. I might be curious as to their reasons which is surely more productive than judging.

Some children are completely fine with this though. We sent ours to nursery for a couple of terms before starting school, but in hindsight I don’t think it would have mattered. He had never been left with anyone else before and didn’t care at all the first time that he was. I don’t think it would have mattered if the first time had been at school.

I was home for 13 months with both DC (may leave plus accrued holiday). Returned part-time and used a childminder until they were each 3 years old. I wanted a home environment with my DC doing what I would do (park, post office, shop, etc.). Nursery was a fully outdoor forest school. DD1 spent 3 years there (deferred) and DD2 spent 2 years.

No regrets bar not being in Scandinavia so they could wait until 7 for school.