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AIBU?

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DP embarrasing me over periods

284 replies

Bluebirdies · 28/08/2025 16:13

I’m 30 I know I shouldn’t exactly be embarrassed by them (and deep down I’m not) but this is how DP is making me feel.

I was having really bad stomach cramps last night. He was asking me what was wrong and I told him and he pulled a disgusted face. Then this morning I had come on and he said “eww”

When he says these things, I do pull him up on them but he says he’s joking but they aren’t funny to me. For a while now I have been trying to make out what this means. Is it just something he’s grossed out by? Or is it an example of not really caring about me? I can’t work it out

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 28/08/2025 19:42

My 11yo DS sounds a lot more mature than your partner. He would never make jokes about periods or say they’re gross.

soupyspoon · 28/08/2025 19:33

outerspacepotato · 28/08/2025 19:16

Periods aren't a choice. 🙄

Meaning what? That humans having sex is a ewwww gross and grim choice?

Not shaving legs is a ewwww, gross and grim choice?

Going for a poo in a public or work toilet is a ewwww, gross and grim choice?

bumblebramble · 28/08/2025 19:30

Shessweetbutapsycho · 28/08/2025 16:45

Overreaction much??
from the information presented the partner sounds extremely immature, tactless and very uneducated, but it’s hardly abuse?

It’s a very important question.

it’s not unusual for a person to be so ground down that they normalise abuse to the point of not recognising it.

Sometimes women post about something seemingly minor that has caused them to flounder, and when posters ask if there’s a wider context, that can be what it takes to wake them up to see the pattern.

People don’t up and leave their perfectly nice marriages because some stranger online thought a throwaway comment was abuse. But sometimes abused women get an opportunity to recognise what’s happening and the support to get away. It’s why MNetters are called vipers.

If you’ve been fortunate enough in life not to have developed an instinct for where there might be a bigger story, I’m truly glad for you.

AntiBullshit · 28/08/2025 19:28

He is an uneducated ignorant twat of man-child who needs to grow up

Onthemaintrunkline · 28/08/2025 19:23

Your husbands comments, being ‘grossed out’ highlights his immaturity, his comments place him firmly in the immature schoolboy category, which is fine if he’s12 but he’s not!

ReadingSoManyThreads · 28/08/2025 19:18

His immaturity would be a massive turn off for me. This isn't then type of man who'll make an attentive husband when you're pregnant or in post-partum.

There are better men out there, don't waste your time on this immature prick.

hibeat · 28/08/2025 19:17

He is not a partner. He is using you. Run.

outerspacepotato · 28/08/2025 19:16

soupyspoon · 28/08/2025 19:14

Oh interestingly, there is a thread just popped up, cant remember what category as I use active... about the increase in dads who are 60+

Cue lots of 'ewww' and 'gross' and 'grim'

Ewwww, older people having sex and older men being parents, how discustin'

Periods aren't a choice. 🙄

soupyspoon · 28/08/2025 19:14

Oh interestingly, there is a thread just popped up, cant remember what category as I use active... about the increase in dads who are 60+

Cue lots of 'ewww' and 'gross' and 'grim'

Ewwww, older people having sex and older men being parents, how discustin'

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 19:13

Iamnotalemming · 28/08/2025 19:07

Does he know that you also pee and poo? Sweat? Other normal bodily functions?
If he can't cope with periods he is not a long term reliable partner. Can you imagine how he would (not) cope with childbirth?

TLDR? He's a bellend.

People usually wash to avoid BO, clear their bum holes of poo and clean themselves of urine

holrosea · 28/08/2025 19:12

Chiming back in to add that I've had partners who aren't keen on intimacy during menstruation (and that's ok) but I've never had a partner express/feign disgust at the fact that I have periods.

I once got my period when out in a bright green bodycon dress (commando 😱) when at lunch with my then partner. He popped across the road to buy a box of tampons. Of course they only had a jumbo pack & the ones I couldn't fit in my handbag he stuffed into his pockets & walked around all afternoon like a ladies vending machine. We laughed about it for months.

Iamnotalemming · 28/08/2025 19:07

Does he know that you also pee and poo? Sweat? Other normal bodily functions?
If he can't cope with periods he is not a long term reliable partner. Can you imagine how he would (not) cope with childbirth?

TLDR? He's a bellend.

user1471538283 · 28/08/2025 18:58

So he's a child then. Having said that my DS when he was a child didn't have this reaction once he'd found out that periods happen.

I couldn't be with someone like that. He's telling you that you are less than him.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 28/08/2025 18:57

He sounds weak

Ltb x

Thisisbetweenyoumeandtheinternet · 28/08/2025 18:57

Is he 12?

Lovethesparklylights · 28/08/2025 18:56

How do you not have the ick.

I've known 10 year olds more mature.

Toss him back OP

OhHellolittleone · 28/08/2025 18:55

You shouldn’t have children with a man who feels this way. My husband had to help me with all intimate care after baby was born, soaked bloody pads, etc etc. He isn’t good with blood (nor am I! Even my own) but never once made me feel gross.

FreyjaOfTheNorth · 28/08/2025 18:54

Don’t refer to him as “DP”. He’s not a partner. A partner would not do this. If he’s mature enough for a serious relationship then he’s mature enough to realize that periods are a natural occurrence for women. He’s obviously not mature enough for a relationship. He’s not a partner. He’s a childish flatmate that you foolishly have sex with.

Get rid. You can do so much better.

MrsMurphyIWish · 28/08/2025 18:45

20thcenturygirlwithherhandsonthewheel · 28/08/2025 18:15

How insulting!!! My 8 year old son would never “eww” if someone has a period.

I was just about to comment similar. Can we stop comparing this immature man to pre-teen and teen boys? Not all are like that. I have an 11 year old boy and he has seen san pro since birth. His sister started her periods a year ago and he’s seen when she has flooded and just asked if she was okay and needed a hot water bottle.

MeridianB · 28/08/2025 18:43

TheGodsOfTheCopybookHeadings · 28/08/2025 16:19

I really could not be with someone so stupid and immature.

That's not a man, on any level.

This. Reeeallly hoping OP says this is a new (soon to be old) relationship and not a guy she’s been with for five years and two children.

BuckChuckets · 28/08/2025 18:42

CreteBound · 28/08/2025 16:15

In what other ways is he verbally abusive OP? Do you feel safe to leave?

Nailed it.

Nestingbirds · 28/08/2025 18:41

That level of immaturity would be the death knell, how mortifying for him to be acting like a nine year old, I would be cringing for him. What a dick.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 28/08/2025 18:36

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 18:22

anyone bleeding I would find gross but he doesn't need to be like that with you

She’s not actually showing him her period blood. He reacted to the word ‘period’.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 28/08/2025 18:33

Shessweetbutapsycho · 28/08/2025 18:31

But it’s not the same though… I don’t want to get into a back and forth but let’s be clear about what we’re calling “abuse” here? It wasn’t decent of him, I agree, but that doesn’t make it abuse

In fairness, I never said it was abuse. He is calling her disgusting though, just through his actions rather than his words.

CitrineChicken · 28/08/2025 18:31

Agree, @soupyspoon.

Many people today have become strangely squeamish and dainty about everyday human biology. I find it rather odd.

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