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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you cancel on the day with the NHS, you should be put to the bottom of the list?

507 replies

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:07

Unless you have a good reason of course!

I’ve just started and I’m in my first week, in this week we’ve had multiple cancel due to nerves or just not turning up. Seeing the amount of work that gets them to this point, it’s staggering! I just can’t get my head around it

OP posts:
Simonjt · 29/08/2025 21:14

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:20

Letters do get sent.

My mum recently had a letter for an appointment, the letter was dated (as in the letter, not the postmark) three days after the appointment.

CrimsonStoat · 29/08/2025 21:13

I’m sceptical how many no-shows are actually really no-shows

I'm glad somebody's said this.

Whilst the hospital admin staff on this thread seem united in their judgemental attitudes towards patients, they also appear resolutely determined to never consider that many, if not most, "no shows" may actually be because of incompetence and system failure.

Telling us we should all try working for the NHS before we criticise poor practices, whilst they merrily load the blame onto patients.

Teddybear23 · 29/08/2025 21:10

I work in the nhs. Every day in outpatients there are about 30 no shows. Thirty appointments that could have gone to a person who has been waiting for a very long time. Most don’t ring with a reason why they are not coming. I think they should definitely be fined and unless they have rung to explain why they can’t come, they should go to the bottom of the list.

Purplenotes · 29/08/2025 21:03

I’m sceptical how many no-shows are actually really no-shows. It’s been a bit of an eye opener since getting ill as other than pregnancy, I hadn’t had much dealing with doctors etc. I’ve turned up for appointments to be told it’s meant to be a follow on appointment for an appointment I haven’t even had yet, I’ve had appointments come through by text saying to attend some department somewhere on same day as meant to be at another appointment elsewhere - I text back rebook with plenty of weeks warning and find out when cc’d into letter to doctor that I’m down as a no-show, I had an appointment in summer holidays and spoke to someone to ask for a different date and was told it would be sent in post - it wasn’t, I’m down as another no-show.

Oldwmn · 29/08/2025 21:01

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

I just think cancelling on the day due to nerves is a load of rubbish - they’ve had months to get to this point and can talk through all of it before hand! Same as just not turning up

I've just started chemo & I was absolutely shitting myself. Someone of less robust spirit might easily cave - it doesn't mean you let them rot. I've often notice that there is far less real empathy around than we fondly believe; it really shows on MN!

Imperativvv · 29/08/2025 20:59

Pointless idea. You'd need to have exceptions for being too unwell to attend, so everyone will simply lie and say they had diarrhoea.

Manxexile · 29/08/2025 20:55

GiveDogBone · 29/08/2025 20:02

Well you penalise the rest of us by spending our taxes. Try not to be so selfish!

Eh?!?!?!?

KellySeveride · 29/08/2025 20:53

MyGreyStork · 29/08/2025 20:51

Well you probably should have went into something more aspirational than a secretary then.

Maybe if you’d gone to school and got an education you’d know that the sentence should be you probably should have GONE into something more aspirational….not WENT.

LlamaNoDrama · 29/08/2025 20:52

UtterlyButterly2048 · 29/08/2025 18:39

Do you have any idea what it costs the country, and how many people are on a waiting list for that appointment? And who are massively anxious because they haven’t got an appointment? If you are too anxious to attend, seek the relevant help or cancel the appointment.

Do you have any idea how impossible it is to get MH support? I've had a suicidal child who can't even get seen by CAMHS but yeah sure, we'll just tell them to 'seek support'

Blushingm · 29/08/2025 20:51

MyGreyStork · 29/08/2025 20:23

Well your first mistake was moving jobs and taking a 10k salary drop. Admins don’t make much money in the NHS and most don’t even have GCSEs. Basic skills in literacy are seriously lacking hence why they are so incompetent.

You’re rude aren’t you?

MyGreyStork · 29/08/2025 20:51

KellySeveride · 29/08/2025 20:43

I am trying very hard not to bite but you are being very twatty.

I am a med sec, grammar school educated with 11 GCSE’s and 2 AS levels. You need to retreat back into your hole!

Well you probably should have went into something more aspirational than a secretary then.

KellySeveride · 29/08/2025 20:43

MyGreyStork · 29/08/2025 20:23

Well your first mistake was moving jobs and taking a 10k salary drop. Admins don’t make much money in the NHS and most don’t even have GCSEs. Basic skills in literacy are seriously lacking hence why they are so incompetent.

I am trying very hard not to bite but you are being very twatty.

I am a med sec, grammar school educated with 11 GCSE’s and 2 AS levels. You need to retreat back into your hole!

Flo747 · 29/08/2025 20:43

I have a DD with a complex health condition. We’ve never missed or rearranged anything but we do receive more letters about appointments AFTER the appointment than the ones which arrive before. Also, when they do arrive before, they usually give a few days for us to arrange time off work. I spend a lot of time calling secretaries to confirm next appointments which of course involves a long time being on hold.

I’d suggest getting correspondence out in a timely manner could save a load of money for a start.

Funinthesun4008 · 29/08/2025 20:35

I needed an op pre COVID, first letter arrived with an appointment for a completely different department, called them up they cancelled it & re-referred me. A year later I get a call asking why I didn’t show up to my appointment, what appointment I ask, turns out they’d sent a letter i hadn’t received. The woman on the phone proceeded to tell me if I wasn’t going to show up (appointment time had long passed at this point so no idea how she thought I was going to make it, time travel maybe) I’d have to go back to the bottom of the list. Another year later I go to the pre op appointment then never hear from them again even with chasing 🤷‍♀️ I went private in the end. Yes its annoying if people don’t show up but you’ve no idea why they’re not showing up

Blushingm · 29/08/2025 20:33

I think there should be charge for people who just don’t turn up to an appointment

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 29/08/2025 20:31

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

I just think cancelling on the day due to nerves is a load of rubbish - they’ve had months to get to this point and can talk through all of it before hand! Same as just not turning up

Lol bless you.

You only started the job 5 minutes ago and yet here you are, knowing everything 😁👀

TwinklyFawn · 29/08/2025 20:31

Yabu. My grandma had carers for the last few years of her life. When she made a gp appointment she always asked the receptionist if the gp could phone after a certain time as she needed the carers to get her out of bed, dressed etc. The gp sometimes called before the specified time. Then she would get marked down as missing the appointment. It didn't matter that she couldn't get out of bed herself. She didn't have a mobile. She did ask to be phoned after 10:00 to allow enough time if her carers were running late.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 29/08/2025 20:27

Of course people shouldn't be charged for missing or cancelling appointments - unless you're going to pay patients every time something gets messed up or wait times are over half an hour. Sauce for the goose & all that.

MyGreyStork · 29/08/2025 20:23

Louisa58 · 29/08/2025 19:46

I’m sorry but I find that rude and a huge generalisation. I am a highly accomplished PA who dropped £10k in salary to work in the NHS as a medical secretary - a job that I loved for 15 years before I retired. I worked with and hired many very competent staff and our department ran very smoothly. The wages are very poor for the level of responsibility but most do it out of compassion and care for the general public. There will always be a bad apple every now and again and to dismiss them can be a hugely tedious and lengthy process as they are too protected sadly. (I know this varies from Trust to Trust). I can only assume your experience with the NHS has been different. For a huge underfunded, understaffed corporation dealing with a huge population, in my experience those working for the NHS do the very best they can in most cases. I have had cancer and various other conditions and so also see it from the other side. Unfortunately with work pressures and humans being simply human mistakes do happen. I am sorry if you have experienced this as it shouldn’t be, of course.

Well your first mistake was moving jobs and taking a 10k salary drop. Admins don’t make much money in the NHS and most don’t even have GCSEs. Basic skills in literacy are seriously lacking hence why they are so incompetent.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 29/08/2025 20:21

I once had to cancel a hospital appointment due to sustaining an injury the evening before. The receptionist was very snippy with me & said, "When someone cancels on the day, we don't try very hard to make them another appointment, you know." 😱

But she changed her tune when she couldn't find my appointment on her system & it turned out that they'd written it on a card & given it to me but not actually booked me in! She became very nice & normal, & made me an early appointment. 😂

JustMeAndTheFish · 29/08/2025 20:17

My surgery posts the number and percentage of cancellations monthly on fb. It is a horrifying figure.
I think that we should pay a minimal charge for appointments - £5/10 - which is forfeit if we don’t show and haven’t contacted the surgery.
Obviously there will be people who can’t pay and equally obviously the powers that be already have enough information to make that distinction ie everyone on pension credit etc.

RigIt · 29/08/2025 20:12

I don’t agree with charging, because then the more someone is sick, the less likely they are to have money, but the more treatment and appointments they will need. I already spend hundreds of pounds a month to try to manage my poor health, if I had to pay for every gp or hospital appt on top then I don’t think I’d manage. Plus charging would put people off contacting a doctor at all, leading to worsening health that becomes way more costly to resolve or treat.

RigIt · 29/08/2025 20:07

GiveDogBone · 29/08/2025 20:02

Well you penalise the rest of us by spending our taxes. Try not to be so selfish!

I’m sorry what? You think the pp (and presumably me as well as I have chronic illness) are being “selfish” by being sick? Wow.

BIossomtoes · 29/08/2025 20:06

GiveDogBone · 29/08/2025 20:02

Well you penalise the rest of us by spending our taxes. Try not to be so selfish!

That’s what I pay taxes for.

RigIt · 29/08/2025 20:06

taxguru · 29/08/2025 18:56

@RigIt

I have chronic illness and the amount of time I spend sorting NHS admin fuck ups is almost a full time job.

My OH would say the same. He has cancer and spends an inordinate amount of time organising and re-organising all his appointments, i.e. for chemo, other infusions, blood tests, scans, etc - not helped when he gets appointment letters where the phone number on the letter is out of service!

Oh absolutely. Or phone numbers where no one ever answers. I had to do a PALS complaint the other day as I needed to rearrange an appointment that had been sent to me as it was on a date I couldn’t make. At this point the appointment was 2/3 months away. All I had had confirming the appt was a text with the date and time. No other details. The text said further info to follow, which never arrived. So I had no idea whether I needed to prep for the appointment (a scan) or not or exactly where I needed to go in a large hospital. The hospital is a national one about 50 miles away so I can’t just pop up there. The phone number they gave me in the text was wrong, but when they tried to put me through, the line just rang and rang. I got another number from the dept I am under at the hospital which was the same, just rang and rang. So I tried to get put through by switchboard, and via another number I was given. No joy. After phoning them on and off for literally weeks, leaving the phone ringing until it rang off multiple times, I eventually found an online contact form which I completed but no one got back to me. So I ended up having to get PALS involved as I just couldn’t get through to anyone. To cap it all off, when someone from the dept eventually called me she was unbelievably rude as if the now short notice cancellation was my fault! Fucking exhausting. .

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