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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you cancel on the day with the NHS, you should be put to the bottom of the list?

507 replies

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:07

Unless you have a good reason of course!

I’ve just started and I’m in my first week, in this week we’ve had multiple cancel due to nerves or just not turning up. Seeing the amount of work that gets them to this point, it’s staggering! I just can’t get my head around it

OP posts:
Allisnotlost1 · 28/08/2025 14:41

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

I just think cancelling on the day due to nerves is a load of rubbish - they’ve had months to get to this point and can talk through all of it before hand! Same as just not turning up

If it’s very common for people to cancel due to nerves then it suggests the pre-appointment support isn’t effective. That might be for all kinds of reasons but I think it’s the job of the organisation to understand and act on that first, before thinking about delisting or charging people for missed appointments.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/08/2025 14:40

Manxexile · 28/08/2025 14:11

Why would someone be particularly nervous of a MRI scan?

Claustrophobia and violently loud noise . And it's one of the reasons they give you a 'panic button' so the scan can be halted

FitatFifty · 28/08/2025 14:39

DD recently had a paediatrics appointment. I had moved the appointment myself originally with the secretary. I had 5 letters reminding me of the appointment in the post. The letter was also sent electronically. It was also sent on the NHS app and then we got 2 texts reminding us!

DH sees multiple different consultants in different hospitals, he also sees the practice nurse for injections. What we need is one portal with all the appointments in one place to view. If he makes the injection appointment on the phone, he gets a text with the details, if he makes it in person, he doesn’t! These are the ones he forgets. Sometimes it’s just too much on top of work and also some appointments are originally sent out over a year ahead of time!

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 28/08/2025 14:36

XenoBitch · 28/08/2025 14:12

They can trigger awful claustrophobia in some people.... some people who have never experienced it in any other settings before.
There was a thread on here a while ago about it. Some people are terrified of them.
And sometimes, it is not so much the actual procedure but the worry about results etc.

Edited

My Dad had tried and failed with one but they kept booking another - it triggered his claustrophobia - parents kept having to cancel them and it was difficult to do.

I know one of the mother's at DC primary was putting her foot down and asking why it was needed - as it was traumatic and quite long for her DD and it wasn't always clear why it was being done.

The other things NHS is really good at is doing test- blood/x-rays ect and no-one looking at results.

DN - did x-ray to rule out less common presentation - no-one looked at it wasted 18 months with method that had no chance to work - and needed much more complex operations due to delay - only happend as GP did a referal to another hopsital as timeline of treatment was twice as long as initally suggested and sister was worried - took two trips to GP severla months apart.

Dad's text results - field before GP ever saw them - and they were difficult about Mum and him getting access to them.

Friend treated for pnd for two years before locum asked about goiter - they'd done the blood work no-one had looked at results - she didn't have pnd and thus wasn't a surpsie she wasn't improving with the anti depressants.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/08/2025 14:35

Lunde · 28/08/2025 14:16

Where I live (Sweden) you must give 24 hours notice of not attending a medical appointment - it can be done via the telephone answerphone or via the app.

If you just don't turn up they charge you £30 as the appointment could have been offered to someone else.

Let’s pick this apart.

If I was charged, it would be the price of a nice bottle of wine. I’m happy to pay that for flexibility. I have family, childcare, transport, resources. So I can easily miss but won’t have to. If I want to though, I can.

A single mum, ESL, no help, unreliable transport, no childcare, is more likely to miss AND the charge could be really difficult for her.

You’re just compounding privilege.

Money is a poor motivator for behaviour change AND it’s discriminatory. And good luck trying to get that money. It’ll cost more than you’ve charged to get it.

MsTamborineMan · 28/08/2025 14:34

As a clinician within the NHS I do think there has to be give or take with patients.

Most of the time if someone cancels we can fill their surgical slot with emergency/urgent work. If someone fails to attend we can't. Id rather someone called and cancelled, and was honest about the reason. If someone is too nervous to go ahead with surgery then we can think of alternatives. If someone is too nervous and feels they have to turn up that just wastes more time, as again it gives no opportunity for that slot to be filled, we will have prepped equipment etc.

I am also aware that we cancel last minute on patients for sickness or because of emergency work, and we ask patients to be forgiving of these situations. Therefore we should be forgiving back

Keepingittogetherstepbystep · 28/08/2025 14:33

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:20

Letters do get sent.

Problem is letters may get sent but that doesn't mean they get delivered.

Then there's the make an appointment digitally cancel by letter and then phone up to change. Telephone appointment cancelled yet Dr still rings, sadly person not available as they've been told its cancelled.

The system assumes people can just drop everything and attend. We were once given 2 appointments 30 minutes apart at 2 different hospital sites 11 miles apart and when we tried to change one the person couldn't understand why.

The system where I live is one dna your get discharged, you're allowed one change or discharged.

Fining isn't the answer IMHO.

Manxexile · 28/08/2025 14:33

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 28/08/2025 14:18

Over the last few years I've had referrals/appointments with:

Diabetes specialist nurses
Diabetes consultants
Physiotherapy
Cardiology
Stroke clinic
Phlebotomy
Maxillio facial
Ophthalmology

Not a single one had any kind of online service. I got letters in the post with a date and time.

Edited

I know.

That's why I've asked @Yelleryeller to explain what this e-platform is that they think all people with NHS hospital referrals should be using to manage their appointments...

MyGreyStork · 28/08/2025 14:32

I assume your role is admin? Because if you were a HCP you would know health anxiety is a real thing. Maybe stick to your pay grade and just concentrate on posting the letters

citygirl77 · 28/08/2025 14:32

Lottapianos · 28/08/2025 13:48

@citygirl77 , that's a truly horrifying story. I'm so sorry. Some people working in the NHS were heartless to start with and some are made heartless by working in such a brutal system where there is never enough of anything. But there are no excuses for such an appalling lack of care ❤️

Thank you. We will put it behind us. Just as well I wasn’t there, as I might have pointed out a few things!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/08/2025 14:31

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:19

Of course that’s a good reason. And I agree the hospital cancelling on the day is just as bad - but they get fined for it.

Nope - only if it's isnt rescheduled within 28 days.

MsTamborineMan · 28/08/2025 14:29

PoliteMurderCrow · 28/08/2025 13:49

This is so bizarre. You make a slightly confusing thread then get aggressive with anyone who doesn’t seem to understand or agree with you.

However, I agree with you to a point. Some people with cancel due to nerves, others will have legitimate reasons to cancel and they should t be penalised because of those who cancel for drains you seem to be non-legitimate. How do you differentiate? People will simply lie and say they’re too sick to attend so the problem won’t go away.

I recently had an appointment with the NHS and the amount of paperwork and fannying about was shocking. Even the nurse told me some of it was ridiculous. The NHs waste so much money it is mad. And yes, I imagine some of that waste is on shitty patients.

Edited

The person OP was replying to was being deliberately goady, they weren't disagreeing with OP they were trying to put OP down. OP is not being aggressive to reply in a similar ilk

Can't stand posters who just pick apart the wording or grammar of a post. It's so tedious

Blueberry911 · 28/08/2025 14:28

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

I just think cancelling on the day due to nerves is a load of rubbish - they’ve had months to get to this point and can talk through all of it before hand! Same as just not turning up

You sound so caring and lovely.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 28/08/2025 14:27

When I had broken my leg and required hospital transport to get to follow up appointments, transport quite often didn't show up, didn't show up on time or didn't show up with the right number of personnel. Same with my very disabled mum.

SingingintheRadiator · 28/08/2025 14:27

NetZeroZealot · 28/08/2025 14:25

A lot of letters arrive late because of our appalling postal service.

Yes, I haven't had any post delivered in the last 5 weeks, including some vital pet medication, that I've now had to pay twice for. The NHS can't keep relying on the postal service because, in many places, it's gone to shit (depsite the best efforts of my local posties, I must add, but they're so short-staffed it's just not happening).

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/08/2025 14:26

RimTimTagiDim · 28/08/2025 13:14

Why are so many of your patients so nervous?

They're terrified of the OP!

Cakeandusername · 28/08/2025 14:26

I haven’t have an annual routine outpatient apt otherwise they will discharge me and this is seen as best solution to stay on books. It’s telephone post Covid which is good as I literally take 2 mins.
The last apt was changed 3 times. I have the hospital account and get an alert and can log an and see letter changing apt but they also post letter, I can’t see anyway to say just electronic notifications fine. Huge waste of money.

NetZeroZealot · 28/08/2025 14:25

A lot of letters arrive late because of our appalling postal service.

Bepo77 · 28/08/2025 14:25

I'm not sure you're a good candidate for working in healthcare

viques · 28/08/2025 14:24

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 28/08/2025 14:17

DD lives in a care home. On the day of the appointment, they cancelled it, as apparently they didn’t have a driver. Personally, I would have sent her with a team leader or the house manager, because they all have to drive to get there! However, they didn’t.

How is it fair to penalise DD, who does not have capacity and cannot express herself articulately, for decisions made by people, outside of her control? (We live 3.5 hours drive away and only found all this out, after the event)

I can see how frustrating this is , but driving someone in your personal car can lead to complications re insurance so many people and organisations advise against it. And presumable taking someone off their normal duties could have implications for staffing levels.

MsTamborineMan · 28/08/2025 14:23

TickyandTacky · 28/08/2025 13:11

Are you asking us or telling us?

Its pretty fucking obvious what OP meant 🙄

oopsHereItIs · 28/08/2025 14:22

Taztoy · 28/08/2025 14:21

Ok well what about when a letter comes after the appointment date - what am I supposed to do? I got a letter this morning for a gynae appt last Friday.

Then you dispute.

SingingintheRadiator · 28/08/2025 14:22

Sharptonguedwoman · 28/08/2025 14:21

They are? My area sends a letter, at least one text, notification in the app and sometimes a phone call.

Edited

Not always. My gran literally got a letter with date on it that was the day after her appointment. Still puzzled about that one!

venus7 · 28/08/2025 14:22

TickyandTacky · 28/08/2025 14:16

Making no sense and having no sense are not the same thing.

I'm aware of that, of course. I wondered why pp was insulting NHS staff.

Taztoy · 28/08/2025 14:21

oopsHereItIs · 28/08/2025 14:20

I think the NHS should introduce 'penalty fees' for last-minute cancellations and no-shows. Too many people abuse the "free" service and take appointments for granted.

Ok well what about when a letter comes after the appointment date - what am I supposed to do? I got a letter this morning for a gynae appt last Friday.

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