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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you cancel on the day with the NHS, you should be put to the bottom of the list?

507 replies

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:07

Unless you have a good reason of course!

I’ve just started and I’m in my first week, in this week we’ve had multiple cancel due to nerves or just not turning up. Seeing the amount of work that gets them to this point, it’s staggering! I just can’t get my head around it

OP posts:
recipientofraspberries · 28/08/2025 15:38

MyViewOn · 28/08/2025 15:16

OP, you need to have some compassion, understanding and patience. Otherwise you will drive yourself mad. I have been an NHS consultant for 30 years and would never write what you have just done.

The reasons people do not turn up are multifactorial. These are related to the NHS and its incompetent processes, the patient and all the complexities of a human life, and also the kind of medical condition being addressed. Once you add in logistics, the weather, and transport into it, it feels like a unsolvable problem.

I think we need easier processes for cancelling and changing appointments. That would help as a start.

And sometimes it’s frustrating. I get it. I called a patient this morning who had only been referred a couple of weeks ago. She was sent the phone appointment by text, email and post. I called her at 10 am and she said she was feeling sleepy and would prefer a different appointment. I offered to call her back in 30 minutes but she said she was too tired to speak. Anyway, I will reschedule the appointment. I can’t deny that inside I felt a bit frustrated, but there would have been no point in saying anything. People are people and we just have to get on with it. I would rather speak to someone when they are ready to have the conversation.

You will burn out if you feel so angry and frustrated after one week! And don’t lose your compassion and respect towards patients. I have never been rude to a patient in my career. Sometimes I’m annoyed inside but my professionalism comes first. And we have to treat our patients with respect.

This response is a huge breath of fresh air. Thank you!! It is so reassuring to hear someone talking like an adult.

CrimsonStoat · 28/08/2025 15:37

KiwiFall · 28/08/2025 15:31

It’s not the odd DNA, after all things happen, the NHS have to cancel them sometimes too at short notice, Royal Mail maybe lost the letter or the company that send the appointment letters missed one. It’s the serial offenders. Depending on what the patients ailment is we cannot discharge some patients. It is frustrating booking an appointment knowing full well they won’t come when other patients get upset their appointments are delayed longer than they would like. The NHS pride themselves on treating all patients and not judging so we can only do what we can 🤷‍♀️

You've just referred to "serial offenders" and priding yourself on not being judgemental in the same post!!!

You seem to be entirely typical of so many NHS staff that I've encountered over the last decade or so.

Completely blind to your own attitudes.

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/08/2025 15:36

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

Why do you care?

You are perfect for a frontline NHS role, no training required.

So what happens to you lot when you decide to finally give me an online appointment and nobody turns up, twice.

Scans and tests done and then no results given and then can’t find them and are baffled when I tell you who my Consultant is and tell me I have never been referred to him and never had an appointment with him. Really, who was it I saw, Lord Lucan?

LadySuzanne · 28/08/2025 15:35

viques · 28/08/2025 14:04

Do they not have taxis in your area?

I live 6 miles from one hospital and nearly 15 miles from another hospital in the same Dorset University Hospital Trust.

Departments for neurology, urology, the eye clinics and some cardio and other conditions are based at the hospital that is nearly 15 miles away.

A taxi to the 6 miles away hospital costs itro £46 to £48, round trip.

A taxi to the 15 miles away hospital costs in excess of £90 round trip. Some people would struggle to fund that kind of expense if their own transport is unexpectedly unavailable.

recipientofraspberries · 28/08/2025 15:35

Ideas like this are fine on paper, but then you get into the realities of how it would all be decided. Who gets to say that a service we pay for with our taxes to be free at the point of use will start charging people for missing appointments, and who makes the criteria? It's all very well adding on a 'unless it's for good reason of course', but we know that people who genuinely have good reason for struggling in life don't get the support they're entitled to. Why would this be any different?

I honestly just think a policy like this would just put even more people off seeking healthcare. Lots of people have inconsistent functioning and resources, and the risk of being charged for cancelling last minute would just put them off seeking healthcare at all. Yes there are dickheads who take the piss, but I don't want a world where we make things harder for everyone just to punish a small amount of people.

JustMyView13 · 28/08/2025 15:34

Yes, but I think there’d be a lot of time wasted debating the legitimacy of the reason. And for that reason, it should be logged & applied to serial offenders rather than ad-hoc mistakes.
That said, under the private system you pay whether or not you attend. Perhaps we should trial that to get people used to the private systems.

KiwiFall · 28/08/2025 15:31

It’s not the odd DNA, after all things happen, the NHS have to cancel them sometimes too at short notice, Royal Mail maybe lost the letter or the company that send the appointment letters missed one. It’s the serial offenders. Depending on what the patients ailment is we cannot discharge some patients. It is frustrating booking an appointment knowing full well they won’t come when other patients get upset their appointments are delayed longer than they would like. The NHS pride themselves on treating all patients and not judging so we can only do what we can 🤷‍♀️

Shitpeas · 28/08/2025 15:30

When i had a laparoscopy, there were supposed to be 10 of us booking in that morning but only 8 turned up.

We were all given a bed and told to wait to be called to theatre. When the staff came to take one women to theatre, she had completely disappeared, her bed and locker were empty, and staff had to spend time searching the ward (toilets etc) so see if she was ok.

But it turns out she'd literally just got cold feet and gone home! Apparently that wasn't that unusual. I guess some people have a lot of anxiety around hospitals, general anaesthetics, operations etc.

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 28/08/2025 15:28

TickyandTacky · 28/08/2025 13:14

You make no sense at all.

Perfect for the NHS I guess. Maybe get back to work and stop wasting public money on mumsnet.

The post makes sense. Comprehension seems to be the issue.

NavyTiger · 28/08/2025 15:26

Ive had 4 appointments cancelled by the NHS in the last year on the day which resulted in 4 days loss of pay

godmum56 · 28/08/2025 15:25

You are in your first week and already you have stupid opinions?

TheInvisibleWorm · 28/08/2025 15:24

Seagullsandsausagerolls · 28/08/2025 13:18

We've had multiple appointments cancelled on US on the day, most memorable when I was sitting in the waiting room. There was another where the date and time on the letter was an error and they asked me how I got the letter 🙄

Last dentist appointment was an hour and a half past it's time because the dentist arrived late, that was even more annoying as it was private.

This is familiar! I was booked in for an elective C-section with DD2 at a consultant appt a few weeks earlier. Consultant booked me in on my due date. On a Saturday. On a bank holiday weekend. I queried it there and then, but she was quite happy, sent me home with my letter etc.

Of course when I turned up 12-hour fasted at 7am ready for surgery on a Saturday morning the staff were utterly unimpressed with me. I got shunted off into a side room until a (different) consultant arrived, who then gave me very short shrift and sent me home with a flea in my ear.

I've not really felt safe at a hospital since, particularly not that one. I'm certain that experience contributed to my postnatal depression.

Topseyt123 · 28/08/2025 15:24

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:20

Letters do get sent.

I received a hospital letter containing my appointment several days after the appointment was supposed to have taken place. The letter was even dated the day after said appointment. This also happened to my mother at least once.

That sort of admin cock-up does happen. Not as infrequently as you seem to think. Nobody can attend an appointment they didn't know they had.

I also once changed (postponed) a hospital appointment because it ended up being on the same day as my Dad's funeral, which couldn't be helped. I hope that was a good enough reason for you.

I've received my breast screening appointment in the last week and have had to rearrange it because it had come through for a date when I would be on holiday (already paid for a long time ago). Options were to either rearrange it or just not turn up (which I wouldn't do).

There can be many reasons why people might want to change/cancel an appointment. Of course there are piss takers, but they don't represent all of us.

CottageGoblin · 28/08/2025 15:23

YABU

who decides what the good reason is, and who would have time to categorise this?

also, nerves I think is as good a reason as any. Some people are nervous about tests, nervous about diagnoses, nervous because they suffer from domestic abuse and don’t know how to tell their partner they have an appointment.

yes, ok, it’s a waste of resources but god knows that the higher up managers have meetings about meetings to discuss various scenarios which can also be deemed a waste.

OneNewLeader · 28/08/2025 15:22

DisabledDemon · 28/08/2025 13:18

Some days it's unavoidable. I was due a scan - came out to get in the car and the brake warning light came on. Was the car safe to drive? I didn't know and called out the AA. It was half an hour before my appointment but couldn't take the risk.

I cancelled the appointment and as it turned out, the brakes needed doing. It would have been safe to drive a few miles up the road but I couldn't know that. Fortunately, I've got an appointment reset for next month.

Should I be penalised for that? I was being careful.

Yep, you could have taken a cab. Sorted the car out later.

endofthelinefinally · 28/08/2025 15:22

Also, if you need specific blood results for the appointment, send the form to the patient. Send it in enough time for the patient to actually book the blood test via the online system for a date that allows time for the blood to be analysed.
You will find that this avoids wasting the clinician's time.
There appears to be no way to speak to anyone sensible to ask why the blood test form has not been provided and you cannot book or attend a blood test appointment without the form.

ohtowinthelottery · 28/08/2025 15:21

gamerchick · 28/08/2025 13:18

Ah imagine. A letter coming saying it's time and please book your appointment online? That's like a different dimension dream healthcare that.

@gamerchick My DH has NHS eye clinic appointments every 6 months. In our area this has been farmed out to a Private provider, although the appointments are held in an NHS premises. When his appointment is due, he gets a phone call from the provider asking him when he would like to come to clinic. When he was working (now retired) this enabled him to always choose the 1st appointment of the day at 8.00am. It was like a different world to other NHS clinics!

RimTimTagiDim · 28/08/2025 15:21

Gwenhwyfar · 28/08/2025 14:58

Yes, Myrtlethe's question was really quite silly.
I didn't find the MRI scare because I'm not claustrophobic, but it's not difficult to understand that some people are!
I was a bit stressed though because you're not supposed to move and I had a cough. Trying not to cough was really quite difficult!

That's unfair. Until I had an MRI I only had a very vague idea of what it entailed and why it might be a scary prospect, and I don't think that's unusual.

Alondra · 28/08/2025 15:21

MsTamborineMan · 28/08/2025 14:23

Its pretty fucking obvious what OP meant 🙄

It isn't. The OP has posted a nonsensical debate in MN with subsequent postings making even less sense from the "persona" she purposes to be.

TigerRag · 28/08/2025 15:17

Gwenhwyfar · 28/08/2025 14:58

Yes, Myrtlethe's question was really quite silly.
I didn't find the MRI scare because I'm not claustrophobic, but it's not difficult to understand that some people are!
I was a bit stressed though because you're not supposed to move and I had a cough. Trying not to cough was really quite difficult!

I'm not claustrophobic but do find MRIs uncomfortable. I've also had a few where the possible outcome has been a bit of a concern

(My last one was just to check there had been no changes)

MyViewOn · 28/08/2025 15:16

OP, you need to have some compassion, understanding and patience. Otherwise you will drive yourself mad. I have been an NHS consultant for 30 years and would never write what you have just done.

The reasons people do not turn up are multifactorial. These are related to the NHS and its incompetent processes, the patient and all the complexities of a human life, and also the kind of medical condition being addressed. Once you add in logistics, the weather, and transport into it, it feels like a unsolvable problem.

I think we need easier processes for cancelling and changing appointments. That would help as a start.

And sometimes it’s frustrating. I get it. I called a patient this morning who had only been referred a couple of weeks ago. She was sent the phone appointment by text, email and post. I called her at 10 am and she said she was feeling sleepy and would prefer a different appointment. I offered to call her back in 30 minutes but she said she was too tired to speak. Anyway, I will reschedule the appointment. I can’t deny that inside I felt a bit frustrated, but there would have been no point in saying anything. People are people and we just have to get on with it. I would rather speak to someone when they are ready to have the conversation.

You will burn out if you feel so angry and frustrated after one week! And don’t lose your compassion and respect towards patients. I have never been rude to a patient in my career. Sometimes I’m annoyed inside but my professionalism comes first. And we have to treat our patients with respect.

TickyandTacky · 28/08/2025 15:13

MsTamborineMan · 28/08/2025 14:23

Its pretty fucking obvious what OP meant 🙄

Yes it's pretty fucking obvious that despite not even completing a full week in her new job in public health care that shes already developed disdain for the sick people she's supposed to be caring for.

cattykinns · 28/08/2025 15:11

NetZeroZealot · 28/08/2025 14:25

A lot of letters arrive late because of our appalling postal service.

Yep. Unfortunately, due to cost cutting most NHS post is being sent second class now. Which obviously isn’t getting received in time due to the postal service being run into the ground by its private investors. My husband’s a postie, he delivers actual letters maybe three days out of 6 now. Saturdays devoted entirely to parcels. Any appointment letters sent you’re looking at, at least, two weeks before receipt. This is why our department is following all appointments up with multiple phone calls.

CoffeeCantata · 28/08/2025 15:08

TigerRag · 28/08/2025 14:53

Can we bill hospital staff if they cancel and we're not informed? I had an appointment cancelled. Previous week they called to remind me and I got a text 2 days before. Turned up and they cancelled it 2 days previously. There was a letter in the post which I got the following day

If they can call to check I'm still coming why can't they call or text to tell me it's cancelled?

On this, and on the point I was making before...

I was sitting waiting for a dermatology appointment. Thank God the receptionist didn't deny I had an appointment that day, which has happened, despite having a letter to prove it!

I was waiting for nearly an hour, and I couldn't help noticing that about every 5th person who arrived at the reception desk was told that their appointment had been changed, and to come back another day. Many of these people had taken the day off work to attend, and some were very angy.

Now, I've worked in admin and under pressure, and I know mistakes are going to be made. But in my jobs I might have made a minor cock-up say, once a week at the most. But every 4th/5th patient with wrong information???? There really is something badly wrong with the NHS admin. And it's not trivial - a lot of money must be wasted that way.

(Also - it was ironic, considering the people they were turning away, that the nurses coming out into the waiting room to call people in to appointments found that at least 2 out of 3 were not there...either through their error, or possibly no-shows!). Yes, I WAS waiting a long time and I did pass the time by taking note of all this!!!!

LadySuzanne · 28/08/2025 15:08

Myamoth · 28/08/2025 14:57

As much as I wish that people wouldn't deliberately waste NHS resources it might help if they could get their act together a bit. My partner and I both work full time. Last night we arrived home from work to a letter from an NHS clinic my partner is under stating they have made him an appointment for today at 3pm - a time he should be at work 30 miles in the opposite direction. Bit difficult to arrange time off work etc. in that time frame isn't it? He had to message his very unamused manager at home and beg for the afternoon off today to get there. Perhaps some of the wasted appointments are due to this kind of thing - most working people can't get time off, even for medical appointments, for the following day once work is closed for the night!

Will likely get worse when second class post is only being delivered on alternate days.