Do you find your DH attractive?

Yes I still fancy my OH. He’s put on the pounds, as have I, and we are both going a bit grey but he’s still handsome.
My sex drive is going through a dry patch because of perimenopause but I’m still attracted to him.
Only you can know if it’s a deal breaker for your relationship that you don’t fancy him.

21 years here and still finding my DH very attractive. A lot has changed for both of us in that time. Our bodies aren't what they used to be. Mine due to terminal illness and becoming disabled a few years ago. Him, due to putting on weight due to medication and having to give up a very physical job to become my full time carer, but all that aside, I actually think he has got more attractive with age. Me, definitely not, I was never good looking and much uglier now. Honestly never understood what he saw or does see in me

On a daily basis his looks please me … but if l see him on the road walking towards me , or across the room at a party , or in a suit , or when he’s playing with the kids ( and lots more times ) l think he’s so sexy !

Yes my husband is attractive and yes at some point I want to rip his clothes off.

we have been together 10 years married for nearly 2.

I don’t look at other men and think “I want to rip their clothes off”….. I do look, and on occasion if someone catches my eye, I think “ooo he’s nice looking”, but that’s it. I have eyes for my husband only 😈

Ok 40+ years ago when we first met DH was fit as f*ck - played rugby, did triathlons, ran several miles every morning. He was good looking &, as I say, pretty 'ripped'. 😍

Looking at pictures of me at the time, I didn't realise it at the time, but I was very attractive, also very fit, ran several miles every day, danced & did lots of activities but competitive sport wasn't my thing.

Right - so now 3 children have taken a toll on my body. I'm a good 2 stone heavier than I used to be, my stomach looks like I'm 3 months pregnant, I have really bad stretch marks & my boobs tend to drop when I take my bra off. I've also developed Rosacea which takes the form of an acne type effect with redness & spots.

DH is lucky that he still has lots of hair (he's my silver fox) his 6 pack has turned into more of a Watney's 7 (remember them?) & we both have problems with arthritic knees, hips etc & have scars from surgery to deal with this.

We've both have lost teeth over the years so we have fewer than we used to & both have 'plates' to make up for the loses. Though DH jokes makes oral sex less dangerous. 😂

I love the bones of him & dread losing him (he's 9 years older than me so realistically it's a possibility). I don't see the podgy belly, the wrinkles etc. He tells me everyday that I'm his 'gorgeous girl' & how much he loves & fancies me. We still talk for hours, listen to music, share TV programmes & prefer to spend time with each other than anyone else.

BTW the sex is pretty brilliant as well, even if it's not as frequent as it was when we were in our 20's, 30's & 40's. 😏

Yes, but he’s 27 and so am I so it’s not that hard to be good looking in your 20s. HOWEVER I think he will age well because his dad is good looking. Strategic I know..

We’re in our late 50’s now and although he’s fairly attractive, that’s not what does it for me now. I find his intelligence and charisma attractive.. when he talks the room falls silent and listens.. and I find his kindness attractive too. That’s enough for me!

Yes, my DH is objectively pretty good looking (maybe a 7.5/10) and I find him attractive for personality stuff which enhances his looks to me (eg his smile makes me smile).

We had a funny situation recently - I've got a new ish (last few years) male friend who was a colleague and then we started going out after work sometimes as we both really like football and neither of our spouses do. This guy is a 10/10, absolutely stunning. I introduced my DH to him and later we joked about how he's fake looking. I've met his wife but my DH hadn't. We went round theirs last weekend for dinner and I told DH before we went in, brace yourself she's even better than him, he laughed and said something corny like "no-one compares to you". Anyway she answers the door looking like a taller Scarlett Johansen, greets us goes to fetch drinks and I look at my DH, he's basically got his mouth open in shock lol. Maybe someone does compare to me ha!!

Anyway it's all good fun and nice to look at good looking people as long as you still fancy each other a bit too.

So you told DH you found another man attractive? How would you feel when he points out women he finds more attractive than you?

Yeah I do find him attractive as he’s objectively nice looking. That said it’s not in the same way I fancy certain celebrities, I don’t get butterflies looking at him or want to rip his clothes off at every opportunity.

It’s different isn’t it as you should love your DH for the whole package, as long as you don’t find him ugly then it’s fine!

Mine is aging so well, I’m an old floppy mum and he’s turning into a MAN.

8 years in and im still incredibly attracted to mine. So much so I don't get attracted to anyone else. I observe that someone is good looking it not good looking but there are zero feelings towards them.

No, objectively speaking, I don’t find my DH attractive at all. He’s massively overweight and takes little to no interest in his appearance. He’s just given up really. On the other hand, I am the same size I was when we met and take really good care of myself. I know I look good.

However we have a fab sex life because we love each other and we have history. I spent my teens and twenties with conventionally attractive men and they were all cheating pricks. Gimme fat and bald over vain and arrogant any day.

How old are you both if it’s ok to ask?

I think it's normal to feel that way about your partner after many years, as long as you're not repulsed by them of course. I've been with my partner for 10 years and find him attractive most of the time but not always in a 'want to rip your clothes off' type of way and sometimes if he's sat there farting, I'm not attracted to him at all! My feelings towards him are generally governed by my hormones and what sort of mood I'm in! The most important thing is how he treats you, family, kids and how secure you feel.

Not since having my DD.

Him being a lazy Father and me being a single married woman in my mind has made him the most grotesque man in the world for me.

Ah, you've moved into the friend zone. At the end of my first marriage, I didn't find my husband attractive at all. His lying and cheating just stopped everything in it's tracks for me. And objectively, even though I found him attractive at the start, he actually wasn't really - he was short, not that manly, and a bit of a wimp.

Current husband is a different kettle of fish. He's incredibly loyal and has never cheated, in all our 17 years together. He is conventionally much more attractive than my 1st husband - he's 6 ft 3, built like a rugby player, full head of thick grey hair, and a silver beard. He attracts lots of looks wherever we go (he's hard to miss). I absolutely think he's the best looking guy in any room. The only downside, is that he doesn't have much of a sex drive (and I do), and that seems like such a bloody waste.

I think other women finding my husband hot probably helps me appreciate that side of things. Though that isn’t the main reason he’s sexy.

My husband has always been good looking but as he's aged he has got slimmer and more chiselled. I definitely find him attractive, and I'm aware that a lot of women find him attractive.

And this is why (particularly older) women have the reputation of not enjoying/wanting/going off sex! Right here!

Men assume it’s part of being a woman or hormones - they still very much enjoy and want sex with their partner (coincidentally those who despite having kids have made the same effort looks wise they did when they first met) - their egos are too fragile to take a look at themselves and think - maybe they DO like having sex, but just not with me. 🤯. It’s amazing how many of these asexual women suddenly find they enjoyed it again when they meet somebody new.

I also found OP’s surprise and guilt at finding an incredibly attractive man attractive ‘interesting’ when the majority of men feel this way about a lot of women every day of their lives, regardless of being in a relationship.

Stop feeling guilty OP. We are conditioned to be loyal even emotionally in a way that most men aren’t and believe me when I say the majority of men will be finding other women (even those who aren’t Greek goddesses) incredibly attractive.

Been with my other half 10 years, 2 kids, still fancy him to high heavens! Especially when he’s in his work gear doing stuff around the house (he’s an electrician). Think it also helps he’s a fantastic dad, caring husband and all round amazing person. A lot of my friends say how lucky I am with how good he is, which defo helps me not take him for granted!

Yes very much so and we've been together 19 years.

Of course, he’s smokin’ hot. We both make an effort, which helps. He’s just so sexy.

No, I’m no longer physically attracted to him. He’s put on weight, lost his hair and his skin is quite lined. I’m still attracted to his personality though. He’s kind, supportive, a good father and he’s well mannered. He’s very good to my mum too, always doing little DIY jobs for her.

Yes absolutely.