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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you find your DH attractive?

333 replies

Thenamesmom · 28/08/2025 13:03

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

OP posts:
User415373 · 28/08/2025 13:17

I've been with my DH for 15 years. I am very attracted to him because he's an amazing partner, lover and father. But I don't look at him and think 'you are the most physically beautiful man in the world', he isn't a 'looker' in that sense? I'm sure he feels the same about me!
I have had many occasions of meeting someone or seeing someone and thinking they're extremely attractive. Doesn't mean I'm going to ditch my husband and pursue it! Don't feel guilty about it at all. Just a passing thought and life resumes.

LadyDanburysHat · 28/08/2025 13:16

My DH certainly doesn't have the body he had when we met 27 years ago, and of course neither do I. I know if I met him now I would not be remotely attracted to him.

But I still find him attractive because of our history.

Jk987 · 28/08/2025 13:15

I’d also ask whether you found your DH attractive when you first met? Did you have a honeymoon phase where you couldn’t get enough of each other?

ObliviousCoalmine · 28/08/2025 13:14

I do.

PoshDuckQuarkQuark · 28/08/2025 13:12

No I am not particularly attracted to my DH. He is nice looking but the 'dad bod' is off putting as he eats too much crap. I look after my body and health and the fact he doesnt gives me the ick somewhat.

bumbers1 · 28/08/2025 13:11

No, but that’s because he’s a bully.

sweeterthantea · 28/08/2025 13:11

I used to as when I met him 10 years ago, he was slim and had hair but now he’s gained weight and lost his hair,
no not attracted to him and I’ve had 4 kids and lost all the weight and looked after myself but he’s just got comfortable and let himself go.

Devilsmommy · 28/08/2025 13:08

You've never found your DH attractive? Ever? I've only been married 3 years but of course I find my DH attractive. Does he know you don't find him attractive? You sound more like friends