Do you find your DH attractive?

We've been together nearly 30 years and I find him very attractive. I found him attractive when he was 4 stone heavier, when he had an accident that paralysed his face, when he was a skinny teen and now he is a grey haired, tattooed nearly 50 year old.

He tells me he feels the same and after 3 csections and 5 stone weight gain he still makes me feel as desired as he did when we first met and I still get butterflies when he walks into a room. I doubt anyone else would find either of us particularly attractive.

If I was to look at it subjectively I think it's because I am just so in love with who he is as a person that I don't think there is much he could do looks wise to put me off him, it would have to be a change in his personality.

10 years on and as handsome as the day we met.

Yes although objectively I can see that he is not traditionally handsome. He is warm and smells nice and I like touching him. I don't stare at him and think "I want to rip your clothes off" but if we are close and cuddling that is definitely where my mind goes.

I've met much more good looking men but I don't want to rip their clothes off and I have no interest in getting close enough to them to see if cuddling them does it for me too!

Mine (finally, I'd been trying for ages) discovered the wonders of working out in his 60s. We also lost weight together. He's now hot AF.

Yes because he’s very smart, calm and talks me down as I’m quite highly strung. He manages my expectations of life. He’s my best friend. All of that is very attractive

What "effort" do you want him to make? He can't regrow his hair or make himself taller.

Attractive yes, but not passionate you’re so gorgeous I want to rip your clothes off type thing, no. I don’t think I have the energy to feel that level of attraction for anyone these days though!

Absolutely. He still gives me butterflies and I am very attracted to him. We have been together almost 25 years and he doesn't look the same as when I met him (he was 20) but he's certainly ages very well.

Interesting one this OP...I don't but I also don't not if that makes any sense!

I think that after years of being together, you just kind of settle in and the attraction isn't necessarily a physical one, primarily. As a PP said, it comes from having history together :-)

I’m still very attracted to my husband yes, I was attracted to him when we first met and I’d argue I fancy him even more now- he’s aging well!

Yes, of course. How have you managed to have sex and procreate with a man you find unattractive? How do you get your juices going (so to speak) if there's no spark?

I don't understand either

He's put on weight as have I but faces matter to me more tbh.

16 years here. I still find him attractive. We have both changed and matured and we both find different things about each other that attractive than when we were younger. If that makes sense

Yea, my husband has got way better with age as well. When we met he was a lanky 'geeky' type. He's approaching 40 now and filled out a bit 🤣. He looks great.
Bit of a dad bod but don't they all...

My dh is good looking objectively, I fancy him.

I’m still very attracted to my DH silver fox and he works out so has a good body !!
And I take the same care of my physical fitness I think it makes a huge difference when u look after yourself ! ❤️

I do, probably even more than when we first met (and I fancied him then!) I'm really lucky, we've grown into each other.

Another one who wants to know how you got through dating and engagement with someone who you don’t fancy. What was the draw?

Yes, I’d say my husband has got better looking with age. He does very much have a dad bod these days but that doesn’t bother me. Full head of hair and nice beard. I think he looks great.

On the other hand, after 3 kids I have very much let myself go (slowly working on getting back into shape).

I get where you’re coming from. There is this younger guy at work and I find him so attractive. Had a work sports thing recently and couldn’t stop staring at his calf muscles!!

As for my DH I sort of find him attractive - I have taken care of myself and think I still look good whereas he hasn’t so he’s not as attractive as he once was - he can’t help putting on weight losing hair etc but it’s the lack of interest in appearance that I find unattractive- he prob got away with it when he was younger. Seems usual for women and men my age - the men have let themselves go.

I was, before he died.

I wasn't when we first met, at first sight I thought he was quite ugly. But as I got to know him as a friend over a few months he just started to look cuter and more handsome. By the time we got together as a couple I couldn't keep my eyes and hands off him.

His appearance changed a lot over the 15 years we were together, dark salt and pepper hair went to a full white, he gained and lost some weight, a few months of chemo changed his skin texture for a while along with his scent, and for the last 3 years he was on oxygen. By the end I even thought he "suited" his oxygen tube the way some people look better in glasses. I never stopped finding him attractive through it all.

What was it that drew you to him OP, if you never felt like that in the first place? Do those things still exist?

Yes, I find my DH extremely attractive. He is a classic pretty boy though

My DH is nearly 60 and is probably what you’d call a silver fox !!
Still fancy him after 30years !

Yes, of course. How have you managed to have sex and procreate with a man you find unattractive? How do you get your juices going (so to speak) if there's no spark?