To think women make a house a home?

Some women care about throw cushions and throws. I do not give a rat's behind. Neither does DH. Clean and tidy will do for me. I think many decorations are unnecessary tat destined for landfill. Homes with decorations thrown everywhere and especially with signs like 'You don't have to be mad to live here...' are a bit tacky IMO. But then people would probably call my house boring.

I like a good painting though and have some of them up.

My ds bought all these when he bought his house.

He also chose really nice colours for the walls. And co-ordinated his furnishings.

Well I’ll do as you predict and pipe up with my DH does all the selecting of finishing touches (and main decor). He’s been known to have a mood board for cushion covers.

Yeah true in my experience. My husband still used the bedsheets bought by his mum for university when I met him. He had no decorative items except a 2012 Olympics cushion (!) and would just live with bare walls if it was up to him.

YABU and odd to think how your house looks is what makes it a home!

Why is "stuff" what makes a house a home? Yeah, most of the stuff on the walls in our house is at DPs request. The decorating is usually instigated by me, but she usually picks the colours, because we can never agree and I care less so let her make the choice.

But none of that makes a home, home is where you can relax. Where you're comfortable, where you can be yourself. The pictures on the wall have nothing to do with it.

My gay male friends are better at it than me!

Not buying it

This might just be you socialising with fairly stereotypical people, op.

My dad has made a gorgeous home with lovely art on the walls.

My friend (also male) agonises over light fixtures and paint colours. He won't stay in a hotel or holiday home if the decor bugs him.

I have female friends who aren't too bothered about cosiness or interior design.

There are so many sexist stereotype threads today. It's like we're going back in time.

Why would you be worried?

YABU. I don’t give a single shit about furnishings and decor, despite my uterus.

I don't think it's "making it home" if I will be honest. DH is very minimalistic, many men I know are. He is happy with minimum, while I colect ll the dust catchers... He cares about big things, that's important.
Doesn't mean homes without stuff, simple and minimal style, around aren't homes.
At the same time women say things like "women make house a home" they also moan about amount of work and bandwidth keeping things pretty and clean takes (example being me with dusting...)... Ones preferwnce for good colour matching doesn't mean it's better than simple white.
If that makes sense.

I didn’t either. Still don’t if I can help it. Don’t like throws, or cushions, they’re just clutter.

why is it women care about these things? It couldn’t be because it’s seen as “women’s work” and anyone who doesn’t have this crap in their house is womanning wrong…

someone walks into a house- if it’s not pristine and beautiful it’s automatically the woman’s fault.

women are socialised into wanting a “nice” home because it reflects positively on them. If a woman lives in a shithole then you think “why does she live like that”. A man lives in a shithole and people just write it off as men not caring about trivial decor. Men have better things to be doing.

i definitely feel like dh can live in a mess and people would accept it. If I did though, I wouldn’t be doing my “woman job” properly. It’s definitely societal pressure.

same as shaving. If I knew I could walk around with hairy armpits and not raise an eyebrow I absolutely would. However it’s not socially acceptable for women and I know what the reaction would be, so I don’t. Dh can flap his armpit hair waving in the breeze though and that’s fine.

When I look around my home the 'finishing touches' have all been chosen and placed by me, my husband just sees them as things we can live without and unnecessary despite them making this house our home.

You are absolutely generalising based on your own experience. Your experience isn’t universal though.

My husband absolutely cares about what we put in our house and how it looks. The decor reflects both our tastes not just mine.

I wouldn’t buy anything significant for the house without involving him.

My Dad and FIL are the same, neither of them would want to live in a “cave” and both are absolutely involved in decorating and styling their homes.

Cats make a house a home! 🥰

But yes, I'm forever grateful that DH has less interest in soft furnishings etc than me, so I get to do more or less what I want (he does assert control with my crazier ideas..)

Got it. Women like frippery

Yabu

It's so so true. Think about how few single men buy curtains. Or cushions. Or throws. I am just so glad my days of dealing with boys who just stapled a sheet to the window are long over 😁

It’s true. DH definitely had nothing to do with throwing or draping sheepskins on furniture. If he did I’d be a bit worried . 😂

You'll be accused of being sexist and confining women to the menial life, but we all know this is true.

YABVU