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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are grandparents AIBU about us getting a cat??

82 replies

latesummerreminiscing · 28/08/2025 09:33

To give some context, me and family (British DH and DS) live in England since about 12 years, I am from a European country. The plan was always to move back to my home country but for various reasons this is now unlikely to happen, so we make a huge effort to visit my family a lot (DH and DS fully on board and love that). We are very close to my parents. Now my DS wants a cat since years and my parents are not keen on us getting a cat and the reasoning is "once you have a cat, our grandson won't want to visit us as much any more"

To be honest I was pretty gobsmacked and found this quite rude, as we visit every 3 months at least and they just about come over once a year, if that. Also we have no shortage of people to look after the cat when we are away. AIBU that it's a bit selfish of my parents?

OP posts:
Original poster
latesummerreminiscing · 28/08/2025 09:45

Spies · 28/08/2025 09:38

They sound bonkers to be honest of course you can get a pet.

To be honest the fact you visit approximately 4 times a year at present is also a bit bonkers and doesn't seem very sustainable long term is your son at school because that would mean you spent a lot of the half terms and holidays visiting your family?

I don't want to be too outing but because of where they live (beautiful countryside) and the fact we are close and get on so well, it's not been a problem so far, I can work from home and we often combine it with a few days away just the three of us...it's very much Central European so we can hop on the train easily. Moreover though I feel guilty if I don't see them enough and they are besotted with their grandson and would be so sad to see him less. We've just spent a huge chunk of the summer here and tomorrow will be a very teary goodbye...

OP posts:
Original poster
latesummerreminiscing · 28/08/2025 09:43

Cherrysoup · 28/08/2025 09:41

They are being ridicule! How on earth does getting a cat affect you going there? You can put the cat into a boarding cattery or get someone to come and look after it, it’s not like a child!

I know right! Catteries, lots of lovely neighbours who can help out...

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 28/08/2025 09:41

They are being ridicule! How on earth does getting a cat affect you going there? You can put the cat into a boarding cattery or get someone to come and look after it, it’s not like a child!

Spies · 28/08/2025 09:38

They sound bonkers to be honest of course you can get a pet.

To be honest the fact you visit approximately 4 times a year at present is also a bit bonkers and doesn't seem very sustainable long term is your son at school because that would mean you spent a lot of the half terms and holidays visiting your family?

Coffeeishot · 28/08/2025 09:38

If your parents are not used to pets then they might think this but in reality you can have a cat and go visit, you will need to factor in pet sitters/boarding but you can research that before you commit.

Jitterbuggs · 28/08/2025 09:37

Pets make it harder to go away. But like pp said it's not up to your parents. I guess they should be glad you aren't getting a dog!

WonderfulSmith · 28/08/2025 09:35

They kind of have a point a bit, finding someone to look after the cat will mean that it won’t be as easy for you to go and visit. But also it’s not their choice and they don’t get a say.