Are grandparents AIBU about us getting a cat??

^Exactly this. We have 3 cats and they don’t stop us going away. We either put them in a cattery or pay a cat sitter. You just have to plan trips away in advance.

You say you just spent a big part of the Summer with them, would you be leaving the cat for many weeks at a time? A lot of cats don't like catteries, and will need more than just a drop.in from a neighbour if it's weeks and weeks.
They do notice when everyone disappears from the house for long stretches.
I would factor in a cat sitter who can live in your house while you are away, and use the same one regularly.

If, when I was a child, I’d found out that I couldn’t have a pet cat because my grandparents wouldn’t allow it, it’s hard to exaggerate just how much I would have hated them for it. I’d have refused to speak to them ever again.

They are being ridiculous - of course you can get a cat. There are loads of good professional cat-sitters around who can come when you're away and feed the cat in your own home (which cats prefer to a cattery), just find one you like and who is reliable. Enjoy your cat!

We had a single cat who slept in my son's room and followed him around the house. She liked a lot of fussing and didn't like being on her own. Sadly we lost her in 2019 just a month before she would have turned 20.

I also don't see the issue. It's not like they're vetoing your decision - if you want a cat, get a cat. They're just saying what is true: it will make it harder to travel for extended periods of time.

I find it baffling the responses on here though, people saying it's none of their business, they're self-absorbed, they're controlling. Can't they understand where they're coming from? They clearly love their grandson and seems like they've developed a lovely relationship with him, and like having him around as much as possible. It's understandable they'll be wary of anything that can jeopardise that. That's very normal in my book, as someone who's also living in a different country from my parents and who's now navigating making sure my child has a strong relationship with their grandparents. Personally, I also love cats but wouldn't want one because I know it will make it harder to go away whenever and for how long I like (especially at Christmas when there's a severe shortage of catsitters).

The saying is you sometimes have to let well meant advice go into one ear, and out the other - you don’t hold onto it or give it space in your mind.

People talk rubbish don't they. I once said I was thinking about getting a dog. My sister said it would be the end of our relationship because the dog would not be welcome at her house, because of her cats. We didn't get a dog, not because of her but many other reasons. however she has since welcomed her friends and their dog into her home many many times.

People are full of shit

I don't see the issue. Why can't they have an opinion? They aren't stopping you from getting a cat they just aren't keen. So what? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Surely you don't need your parents to love every choice you make in life.

I suspect this is all wrapped up in disappointment that you live so far away and getting a cat is just another sign that you will never move back. They are allowed to feel sad about that, most parents would. Just reassure them that you have already thought about who will look after the cat when you visit them so it's not a problem.

This isn't how all cat owners feel. I love my cat but cats are pretty independent. Mine goes to the cattery or if it's just a weekend then we leave him at home, he has a cat flap, we have a neighbour check on him. He is fine.

We have 4 cats and it's never once stopped us going anywhere!

He’s, it’s nice that you’re close to your family. That does often come with a price tag of selfish or ill conceived advice, in one ear…

Two cats - my dc adore their cat and animals are always there for you, so low demand and high love back. Although, I wfh mostly with my pets and hmmm they probably do reduce productivity as well as increase happiness

Don't get a giraffe, they create havoc with your trees. They are also social creatures, so you'd need a whole herd of them, and neighbours might have something to say about your pets looking down on them, peering into bedrooms, etc. Thankfully their poo is in hard pellet form, so easy to sweep up off the lawn.

Seriously though, is it because they don't like cats themselves and perhaps would be less comfortable visiting you?

We have cats, if you have someone to feed them while you are away and clear litter tray etc it is pretty easy to go away as cats are quote self sufficient.
The first 6 months you kind of need to have someone in the house with them though while they are kittens. But you can ask someone to house sit or go on a housesitters website and get someone to come, my cousin used to do this for her dog she travelled with work a few times a year.
Cats are 12 to 18 year commitment so just think long term, are you likely to up sticks and move to timbuktoo in the next few years. But then you can even take your cat to a new country with the right paperwork.

They just sound rather self absorbed.

Don't choose your country based on DS's friendships. Your last point that you would just rather stay in the UK is far stronger.

Given you are going to continue doing regular and fairly frequent visits of more than a few days, I would say get cats (2 is a much better idea) only if you are happy to have pet sitters come into your home. If you don't want to risk that and would be using a cattery every time, it would be a lot of disruption for the cat.

Also this is opinion but I would have cats who go outdoors. I believe this makes their world a lot richer and less dependent on you, which is kinder if you will be habitually all away for a week at a time.

I’m surprised they think it’s their business, and I’m surprised you care, given you don’t live with them. Unless I’ve misunderstood.

Live your life - cat and all - and see your parents as and when you wish.

I have had cats most of my life and it’s never stopped me travelling.

these days I tend to get cat sitters rather than catteries but I have various relatives who like my cats and are always happy to cat sit,

I agree get more than one. I have three.

There is nothing in your previous posts to confirm that you had been clear with them that you are never going back. You'll notice that I also carefully wrote all of that in the conditional mood because it's only one possible interpretation. There's absolutely no need to bite my head off.

Besides all this, you can feel that you have been perfectly clear with someone but sometimes what you say and what they hear can be two different things. It's quite possible that they have secretly held on to a hope that you might move back one day. Getting a cat is a sign that you are making your roots in the UK permanent and may have been the thing that has forced them to accept the reality of the situation.

Look, I don't know you and I don't know your parents, but you asked. In my experience, when people react disproportionately to something fairly trivial the usual explanation is that it's not really about the trivial thing at all.

Yep, that’s what I think. In the most important ways, two are less bother than one (if bother is a concern) but above all, it’s very much more lovely for a cat. The young boy would have twice the fun and affection, too!
Still, the lad’s age might be an important point. Will he soon lose interest, when he discovers new delights in his life?
Will you, OP, and your partner leap in and take over the care of the cat/s? If rehoming were the fallback there, don’t get a cat in the first place. (All this is merely doomladen ‘What If’ stuff, of course)

First order of business once a cat comes to live in the family should be establishing strong bonds with adult or late teen cat-adoring types whom you’d entrust with the care of the cats when you go away. In preference to boarding catteries, I mean. If the cat/s can remain in the house it is a million times better.

Golly, there’s a lot of cat stuff on here at the moment! (😽🐾)

Your parents sound far too involved in your life and maybe it’s time to back off a bit? Will they try and pressure your DS to visit them when he’s a young adult?

We only see our 3 DGS about once a year as we moved abroad so I don’t think you should live your life to accommodate your parents wishes. I’d rather my adult DC have complete freedom to choose what to do and not feel obliged to spend their precious limited holidays with us. Although DIL’s mum is a lot more controlling so they see her far more regularly. She’s always playing the poor health card and saying she might not be alive much longer to make them feel guilty, but I’d be surprised if she doesn’t last at least another 20 years as she’s actually a tough bird really. 😂

—————————-

Yes, two litter mate cats could be a good solution.

My friends teen son (18) comes and feeds our two cats when we’re away and I pay him well. He enjoys playing with the cats and he’s very sensible plus he’s keeping an eye on the house too, so win:win.

I am not a cat person at all, but I think the point is that this is nothing to do with the grandparents! You can get a giraffe if you want, and it's still none of their business.
Stop telling them about your plans in advance and, if you want a cat....get one!