Money 'borrowed'

I've just read your update.

I'm happy for you that you found the evidence to show it was never a loan, as it helps your parents understand why you've cut contact. It's in their own words, and they now changed the deal.

I'm so sorry for you that you're having to go all through this. I hope that with time, they will slowly come around and recognise what they've done.

All the best

Sorry to hear your update. Your parents have now shown themselves to be spiteful on top of everything else.

Well they've well and truly revealed who they really are!

How nasty, you're much better off without these people in your life - if they can be this cruel to you, imagine what they could do to your kids!

When they come crawling back because they're potless and lonely, please respond with 'who? No, sorry I don't know you, goodbye'.

Not allowing you to say goodbye to your dog is cruel and so unnecessary. I wouldn’t be able to get past that and the fact they’ve done this whilst you’re pregnant. They are wasting their money on lawyers as first thing they will ask is where the loan agreement is. Also fact they’ve not asked where their repayments are for this so called loan and why they’ve not mentioned it for 3yrs. If they are tight on money they should release some equity as PP have suggested too. Especially if they are leaving their money to charity (odd they wouldn’t leave it to their grandchildren at least if you’re out of their will). It’s sad they are prepared to lose their daughter and grandchildren over this.

So sorry to read your update. As parents, I think most of us would do anything we can to help our children but, sadly, your parents are not like this. I can’t understand their behaviour. Wishing you well with the birth of your new baby and wishing you much happiness with your own family.

You poor lamb. You’re pregnant and you have small children. You don’t need this stress. Please try not to be bitter (though you certainly have cause). Step back, breathe, lean into your husband and your children and their love. Don’t contact your parents. If they want you, they will be in touch, but it has to be on your terms. If you need to, allow your husband to lay out the terms to them - he can be a buffer, let him protect his family. Do not allow yourself to feel guilty; you’ve done nothing wrong. Xx

Ah op I missed the final updates, I’m so sorry, hope things get easier for you. Horrific x

I’d say they’re panicking money wise and looking to recoup whatever they can to make this holiday happen but op- they can’t! You can’t just randomly call back money from people if you never actually said it was a loan!!!

Op your parents are callous cruel monsters. You are pregnant and they are making life as difficult as they possibly can for you. I’d be going no contact for the SAFETY of your beautiful baby. They really will stop at nothing to control you.

You can not bring a baby into this world and subject them to this kind of toxicity. It’s absolutely dreadful how they have treated you.

Try to remember the happier memories with your dog and see this clearly as the level they will stoop to in order to cause you harm.

The inheritance is blackmail, and who cares about money when it comes to behaviour like this? They will be paying you for their cruelty for decades and will probably leave it for the cats home anyway!

Carve out a calm, kind and gentle world for you, your dp and baby op. If you could map out a life that you most like to have what would it look like? Would you feel relaxed, peaceful, loved?

I'm sorry op this sounds awful x

I am so sorry. I can imagine how betrayed and sad you feel. Money brings out the worst in people, but refusing to let you see your dog one last time shows how cruel and vindictive they are. Wishing you all the best for a future filled with love with your husband and soon-to-be-three little ones xx.

I'm so sorry about your dog and that your parents are so mean and spiteful that they stopped you saying goodbye. Their behaviour is inexplicable. As you needed to get legal advice and your parents have now cut you off, I assume that the legal outcome was that the money was a gift.

Your parents will definitely be the losers in this situation. They won't get to see their new grandchild and their relationship with their daughter and grandchildren will be gone. They have thrown this away themselves through their greed and spite. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this horrible situation while you are pregnant.

In all honesty, I’d not bother to contact them, they can squirm for a while. Bloody cheek re the gas lighting about the money, then being completely controlling by dangling your inheritance like that - nasty! I wouldn’t even tell them about your baby, sod them

Have you not slept well? Wtf are you on about?!

How heartbreaking, to lose so much so fast. Sending a shoulder squeeze. Be gentle with yourself.

Sad. Are you sure there is not something enornous that they are not telling you? Did they forget to tell you that really you are a foster child or that Dad has terminal cancer or that they are getting a divorce.
Very bizarre. You are better off without them while they are so conflicted with how they used to be.

That’s very weird.

If you want to have a relationship with them you could try to come to a compromise but you are not obliged to pay them a penny and they wouldn’t have a leg to stand on legally.

OP I am so sorry about your dog. Is there honestly, hand on heart, no possible way they have a point here?

If not then they are wicked people to do this to you. But how incredibly heart breaking and awful for you. I am so sorry :(

So sorry for the loss of your dog. It's unbelievably cruel for your parents to stop you from saying goodbye to him. Do they have form for this kind of spiteful behaviour? It just seems so extreme as you are an only child and and they will miss out on their only grandchildren.

I'm assuming by your updates that it's your parents that have involved lawyers. Gosh, that's going to be hard to come from especially when you are proven right. Do you have any Aunts/Uncles/Cousins on that side that you can keep lines of communication open.

I am so sorry this is happening to you, it must be so stressful.

Oh bless you. Try not to stress too much, you need to be as calm as you can. Concentrate on your twins and the new baby that is due.
Good luck going forward and wishing you well.x

I’d point out that you didn’t want half the stuff they pushed for. The more expensive food, the dress & you certainly wouldn’t have invited their friends to your wedding. I’d explain that you haven’t got the money & will have to take a loan out & in future I’d accept no gifts off them again other than birthdays & Christmas’s

You didn't take out a £10k loan, therefore you don't have to pay back a £10k loan.

Don't let them bully you into believing otherwise.

My parents were like this: cheated DH & me out of a sum of money by interfering in our wedding. I went NC over them lying & cheating (& much worse).

Decades later my father died & left everything to his second wife, which is fine. But when I got a copy of his will, he'd deliberately put my brother, another relative & a charity in it to get the lot, & not mentioned me at all. He was as useless & abusive to me in death as he was in life.

I'm just saying this to say, you're not alone in your experience, OP, & you're not alone because there are loads of us wishing you well.

This must've been a big shock to you, so take time to mourn everything including your beloved dog, & readjust to what I hope will be a freer life for you. It does get better.

Oh I am so sorry.

Seems like their profligate spending has come to an end as they have run out of money to spend on such luxuries, and there wouldnt have been much of an inheritance anyway when the time comes.

Presumably they dont want to realise equity in their home? Or perhaps already have.

Wow Alice - i'm so incredibly sorry. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry about your dog. Your parents sound crazy and very cruel. Them asking for this back, and considering the free work your husband has done, is just ridiculous.

They should not be putting you under this stress when you're pregnant. I hope if you have inlaws, they are much nicer.