Money 'borrowed'

Tell them you never agreed it was a loan and you won't be paying the money back.
If you put anything in writing eg a payment plan or acceptance it was a loan then they could legally make you pay.

Don't pay.
My 2 adult dc have been both given and loaned money and we were always clear which was which.

Your parents behaviour is shocking.

Do nothing.

Simply put, they overspent and then decided that they wanted to do something expensive and decided that their donations to your wedding was a loan.

You dont owe them a penny, and I say that as a parent as the same age as yours (ish).

Oh Lord, they encouraged you to spend above your means and now they are charging you?
They are deranged.
We have saved for years for our DC weddings, it's just what parents do.
I'd be tempted to cut all ties but that way you'd probably miss out on an inheritance too.

Oh my goodness @Alice19876, how awful.

Like pp has said, your relationship with your parents will never be the same after this.

I would be honest and tell them how much stress this is causing you, and then set up a payment plan where you pay them 50 quid a month direct into their bank account (or less, whatever you can afford) and cut off all communication with them until they apologise or the so-called loan is paid off in nearly 20 years. If they want to be repaid more quickly let them take you to the small claims court, but if you have made a goodwill gesture I doubt they'll get more.

And even if they offer to waive the "loan" now I would still pay it back slowly and over time, and never take another penny. The way they have behaved is appalling.

And if they keep trying to rip you off send them a link to this thread.

Surely it is more typical for parents to pay for some or all of their child’s wedding rather than lend them money for it.

Just tell them you didn’t think it was a loan and either way the money has been spent and so cannot pay them back.

They've changed their minds and presenting otherwise. I would be calling themout on the extras, such as the dress and their friends which were their idea, and that you wouldn't have agreed to had they been clear on this from the start.

I think this sums it up well

This.

Do they have form for this sort of behaviour? Do you have siblings and have they experienced similar issues? Do you normally get on well or are they manipulative? It just beggars belief they'd suddenly turn on you like this.

I think you're going to have to sit them down and say, look you never said this was a loan, and as I don't work I haven't a bob to spare, sorry (not sorry).

If they protest and say of course it was a loan, that was obvious, then say not to me it wasn't and regardless, I haven't any money, I'm not working I'm at home here looking after my babies, your grandchildren. You can't get blood from a stone.

I think they're being unfair and unkind to you, you say you have a good relationship, have there really never been any issues between you before? What is their attitude to money normally, are they savers or spenders? Do they like your DH?

Our DD got married recently and we gave her a similar amount of money but it absolutely was a gift, in fact we didn't give them a wedding present as that was it. We had a small amount saved but we didn't give it all to her, as we are conscious of nearing retirement and needing a small nest egg to fall back on.

You should definitely not be paying them a single penny. It sounds as though they decided what they wanted for your wedding and are now asking you to pay.
You need to tell them that these things were their ideas, not yours and you will not be paying them.

It’s only their word against yours that it was a loan. That works both ways. They’ve got no loan agreement and no communication referring to anything being a loan. What can they do?

And I’m not surprised your DH is mad, I hope he refuses to let them over the threshold in future.

I think either way, your relationship with your parents will never be the same again. I’d be ready to fall out over this, I think. It’s insane to tell you that you shouldn’t have had holidays when you weren’t even aware that they’d changed their mind about the gift. You wouldn’t have even needed the money if they hadn’t been playing Lord & Lady Bountiful and demanding upgrades every time they wanted to show off.

You could take a loan out to pay them off, but tell them you hope their cruise is worth the damage that they’ve caused to your relationship. Personally, I’d tell them that I would be happy to give them every penny they were asking for, because if they felt that they could do that to me with not so much as a twinge of their conscience, then I wouldn’t want any part of their money connected to my wedding day. But it would be monthly instalments of whatever I could afford. And if they don’t like it, they could take me to small claims court. Find your anger!

I wouldn’t be giving them any money at all, especially as a loan was never discussed and you would have probably made cheaper choices if it was a loan. It must burn to hear they’ll be ok with you taking out a loan for them to go on a cruise!

I understand you don’t want to fall out with them, but eventually I’m sure they’ll come around. The only avenue they have is to take you to court, and as there was no loan agreement (even verbal), they’ll be laughed out of court.

Did you say to them that this is the first its ever been mentioned that it was a loan.

Id point out that not only would you not have gone with their expensive choices but you've no way of paying them £10k

What do they say when you tell them it was gift, not a loan?