Money 'borrowed'

I’d be very annoyed at this. My response would be as follows:
”Hey mum and dad, at no point did you say the money you paid towards the wedding was a loan, and if that had been the case we would have made very different choices around the wedding. We don’t have spare money to give you for your cruise - we are already finding day to day living financially challenging with your grandchildren to raise. I’m sorry you feel this way, but we won’t be giving you any money.”
They then have 2 choices - accept what you say and move on, make a big deal of it. In order to force you to give them the money they would have to take you to court and prove that it was a loan. Their word against yours wouldn’t suffice, they’d need proof such as a loan agreement. Doing such a thing would obviously alienate you from them and that would include not being able to see their grandchildren. Are they prepared to take that risk?
‘I’m sorry they’ve put you in this position. Hold your ground and tell them no!

@Alice19876 I would be writing a letter to your parents to make it clear that when they agreed to pay for the wedding, they did not ever mention that it was only a loan, and had they said that, then under no circumstances would you have agreed.

I'd then go on to highlight your "evidence" that the money was a gift e.g. they wanted a hog roast which they paid for, they paid for a harpist, they insisted on a more expensive dress etc... all things you were clear you didn't need but they insisted on.

I'd then finish by saying that it is unfair to suddenly say that the money was a loan instead of a gift when it was clearly a gift, and as there is no evidence of the money being anything other than a gift, you are very surprised and disappointed that they are now trying to get the money back.

I'd then conclude saying you don't want to fall out over this, but you won't be paying any money to them as you don't owe them anything.

Do you know which parent is instigating the repayment, or is it both? If just one, maybe have a word with the other and get their perspective on it.
I would not pay the money back, just say you don’t have it, you believed it was a gift. How was it given to you? Bank transfer, cheque? If bank transfer what did it say in the details, i.e. Loan, wedding gift?
My parents gift me money for IHT avoidance every year and put the narrative as tax free gift in the bank transfer so that shows on my statements.
Definitely do not offer to pay anything back, you simply don’t have it.

You know you didn't misunderstand. Your parents are changing the script hoping you will fall for their BS out of guilt and a sense of duty.

Look at what they are saying. DF is retiring and instead of tightening their belts to allow for less income, they admit they want you to pay them back...so they can go on a cruise. Oh, and then they shame you for having a holiday because you owe them money!

You don't. A loan agreement is clearly worded so both parties know exactly how much money was lent/borrowed, what the repayment terms are, and a clear timeline for settlement. Both parties sign it. You didn't sign anything. Your parents paid for the wedding they wanted you to have and three years later they want their money back? What disgraceful, greedy people they are.

I don't think I could bear to look at my wedding photos again if I was you. Do not borrow money to pay this back. Save up for a vow renewal with your DH and have the wedding you originally wanted, with your beautiful DC there. This is your family.

What a lot of entitled people saying dont pay your parents back!! No dont pay them back cut them off and let them rot in old age, you chose to spend £10000 on a wedding your choice your life......never a lender or a borrower be is how i was brought up,

I feel so bad for you as your relationship will never be the same. They've decided to ruin their relationship with their only daughter for the sake of a cruise. That's despicable. Just tell them straight.

Parents, I love you and am devastated that you have backtracked on what I thought was a loving gesture from my parents who kept reminding me "not to worry about the price as I'm your only daughter". You made it clear that this was a gift or we would never have chosen the more expensive items that you kept insisting on, the added extras that you wanted and the extra guests that you invited and would have stuck to the budget that we could manage.

As you are aware, I am not in a position to give you any money for your cruise as I am a stay at home Mum with another baby on the way.

Don't apologise, don't be made to feel like you need to contribute. They are in the wrong. No wonder your husband is upset too. What are they thinking? How can your relationship ever be the same again? I couldn't be around them after this, I'd be so hurt. They need to apologise.

Given you're their only daughter, they're going to regret treating you like this in their old age.

I'm sorry this has been inflicted on you. It's so hurtful. But stick to your guns, they should be ashamed of themselves.

Unbelievably awful.

Now what would Judge Rinder be saying about this!

Agree. Say no, I don't have any money!

There was a caller on Dave Ramsey in basically the same position as you. He said the family who loaned/ gifted the money have no legal stading so you either 1. Tell them they are being completely unreasonable and refuse to pay but obviously they wont like it and you will have to deal with that or 2. Save up a lump sum over the foreseeable and pay them back once you've got it and probably never speak to them again.
Its disgusting that your parents have put you in this position as a young family. You have every right to be furious.

Your parents are awful people!!

They want the money back that they gifted you to go on a cruise?!

I bet the OP thanked her parents in a speech at her wedding. No one gives a thank you speech for £100.

This is terrible on your parents. Pay them nothing. I think this has damaged for your relationship with them and broken your husband’s trust in them. Is this because you had a holiday and they want to go on a cruise?

Bloody hell. Great way to decimate the relationship with your child 👏

I would say that the only way for them to get the money back will be via instalments. Work out how much you can afford to pay them each month and pay it off that way.

I'd tell them they never mentioned it being a loan,but if they are really desperate to have it,you can only afford £10 a month.

A contract can be in writing, verbal or inferred by the conduct of the parties.

You don’t have to pay anything.

It’s not your word against theirs it’s their word against you now. There’s zero evidence that this was ever a loan.

I think you are finally seeing your parents for who they are.

Your parents are behaving very badly. Is it just your dad who has asked, or your mum too?

who gives £100 as a gift to their only dc, when they clearly had enough money to give you 10k.

Don't do this! It would be OP agreeing thay this was a loan when there is no such agreement. If she did they they would absolutely have a case at Small Claims

Why pay back anything?

If she pays back any money it’s admission of the debt.

This is terrible advice.

It won't be the same even if she does give them back the money, so she might as well do what is best for her. This is a problem of the parents own making and OP shouldn't allow them to make it her problem to fix. She will always be hurt by what they've done here.

Hold form OP. Was it your mum or dad who is now saying it was 'loan'.
Agree that they are feeling upset that there money isn't going to go as far as they thought and are regretting past expenditure ( but this is not anything to do with you).
My parent have done something similar ( I am an only child too). My dad always talked about a pot of money he had saved for me and would boast about this ( to his friends). At first it was for when i turned 21, then he would give it for a wedding and then for house deposit. However each of those mile stones came and went. He had taken early retirement too, so I think it was a case of what he wanted to do vs the reality. ( just glad he never gave anything and then wanted it back like you . )
I have noticed that he is very influenced by others so when he is with his sister or a family friend who had paid for my cousins weddings and helped with house deposit he suddenly says he will make a grad money gesture but over time this gets less. Its not that I expect help but it's the potential giving and then silently withdrawing the offer.
Are there any other family members you could explain the situation too who might have some influence over your parents

It would be very unusual for otherwise good, decent parents to suddenly do something so utterly unreasonable. Surely if it was a loan they'd have mentioned when it needed to be paid back by? Many parents contribute financially to their children's weddings, so why on earth would you have assumed this was a loan? Are you sure that, apart from this, they are really an entirely positive part of your life? They seemed to meddle quite a lot in the wedding plans, for a start.

Tell them you would have never had all of THEIR friends at your wedding or the hog on a spit or a more expensive wedding dress if the money they expressly told you was a gift was not a gift at all.

Ask if you need to be aware of any other cognitive issues they are having.

Your parents wanted to be thanked for their contributions to your wedding and now it’s over they want their contributions back. It doesn’t work like that.

Did you thank your parents in a speech?

You have your own family now. Your responsibilities are to your nuclear family - being your children and your husband.

Tell your parents you need some time to yourself to process their change in behaviour.

Don’t give them a cent. Just cut contact for now. Make your own plans for Christmas. Consider their actions a rift in your relationship with them.

Tell them they can take the 10k out of your inheritance 😂

This 100%
Why waste so much money on a wedding . You didnt work and then must have planned the pregnancy. It sound slike you have no savings.
All in all just spend spend spend ...then plan later seems to be the theme.
I would offer to pay back a affordable payment each month. Even if just like 100. Or accept the relationship will never be the same again.