AIBU to feel convinced that most people view crying, even if it's an appropriate/logical response to a stressful or upsetting situation, as being soemthing that is inherently shameful or a sign that someone is a weak person?

It is viewed as being weak but emotionally intelligent people will recognise it as stimulation from lack of exposure to a novel situation.

There are techniques online which will help you manage this which is important in professional settings.

Not saying emotion is wrong, but no point in pretending it isn't viewed in a certain way under certain circumstances, so help is there if wanted.

I had to practice and much better now!

I don’t think outward display of strong emotions of any kind has much place in the workplace at all tbh - certainly not on a frequent basis, and particularly not ones like anger, frustration, sadness to the level of crying. Somebody who expresses their emotions like that in front of other people “most days” rather than only very occasionally in extreme or exceptional situations needs to get a handle on it and work to identify and address the underlying causes.

I don’t think crying is “weak”, but if you’re doing it all the time and ascribing it to “hormones” or over minor grievances such as a rainy day or something not going as planned, you’re going to be making those around you uncomfortable and on edge, never knowing what might happen to set you off, and probably feeling as though they have to actively hide their own opinions or feelings on something to avoid having to have a display of you crying.

"In most situations I find crying attention seeking and manipulative and I dislike it. It's making it all about the person crying and is requiring the people around them to focus on her"

Yeah this. It IS manipulative to cry over basically nothing. It's like a get out of jail free card. You can fuck up and get away with it just because you cry. You see kids do it. One kid will punch another, get shouted at by the first one and then cry and get all the attention.
Obviously if there is a genuinely sad or traumatic situation then it's different. Bad news / illness in the family / loss of job something like that TOTALLY different. But crying for normal every day annoyances is really self centred in my view, rather than a sign of "emotional intelligence".

Crying “at least once,most days” (so sometimes crying multiple times a day?!) is not simply normal or healthy, and you should address that.
If I was at work and was aware one of my colleagues did this it would definitely affect my impression of them, even if their actual work was flawless for example.

I must admit I do find people that cry all the time quite annoying. I really don’t know why, and I feel bad that I have that reaction. It’s just kind of irritating and I do usually think ‘Christ just pull yourself together’ if someone is crying for something very minor.

I think part of it as well is that it’s usually only women that do this. So if I’m working with a colleague who’s a woman and she starts crying over something that is really minor then I feel kind of embarrassed about it for them. Also a bit let down that it’s making us look like the weakest sex, especially in the workplace.

Don’t get me wrong I know that there are situations where it is perfectly fine to cry, and I certainly always hide the judgement I have on this. But if I’m honest, that is how I feel.

Sometimes, if something visual or otherwise, brings to mind others suffering, I feel an overwhelming surge of raw emotion that makes the tears roll.
I don't think it's weakness or strength.
It doesn't matter if people are around or not.
There's a lot to cry about in the world at the moment 😥

This

I think your childhood massively impacts how comfortable you are to express emotions. I too am a ashamed crier

It depends on what it's crying about, not just the situation.

In most situations I find crying attention seeking and manipulative and I dislike it. It's making it all about the person crying and is requiring the people around them to focus on her (it's very rarely him) and not the situation at hand.

On the other hand, in a trial/inquiry about terrible things like the death of children I think it's perfectly OK to cry, whether you are a victim, a juror or whatever.

Crying everyday is a lot op. I genuinely can't remember the last time I cried and I've had some pretty bad news this week.

I once cried at work and it led to a chat about whether I was able to cope with the job or not. (I had just taken a call from one of my direct reports who had tried to kill herself due in some part to some office bullying-and it was pretty bloody distressing). I’d like to think that that workplace was particularly toxic however. They prided themselves on having a whole SLT of women. In that office it made for a horrible sort of out do the men in how tough we are culture which was horrible to work in. Crying was definitely seen as weakness. But that hasn’t been the case in all my workplaces and I don’t view other people crying as such. I just assume they have alot going and offer sympathy and help if it’s needed.

Crying is okay, it's the wailing and gnashing of teeth that shows inherent weakness.

So I don't do that. Anymore

I’m not a crier and I don’t cry infront of people. I’ve always struggled to understand very emotional people and often want to tell them to pull themselves together. I realise that’s my problem, not theirs.

Its a learned response - we cry as young children because it produces a reaction from caregivers, it brings adult attention which means an injured child gets tended to.

Most parents train their child out of excessive crying as they age by progressively giving less and less attention for tears in minor situations (such as getting wet in the rain). Children also usually become aware that toddlers cry a lot, adults do not, thus crying is babyish (anathema to the average 10 yr old!) and will work on self control techniques to regulate/reduce tears - like deep breathing.

Some people (especially women) cry easily. Some don't. Since it is more a woman thing to cry readily, yes, it definitely invites contempt rather than compassion from unpleasant, woman-hating people. So what. They were going to hold us in contempt anyway.

I don't personally cry in the general way of things but frustration and anger can definitely tip me that way on occasion, and this response (angry tears) has got more marked since I entered peri. If anyone judges, they can get fucked, really.

Crying isn’t weak or shameful or any other perjorative you’d like to ascribe it. It’s a human function, tears help lower stress levels and serve an important purpose. Crying at the drop of a hat often suggests something is going on that needs attention - be it support for mental health, a lifestyle change or a new job but it’s not shameful.

I cried the other day, at work, with my boss - a situation caught me completely off guard, I wasn’t overwhelmed and was in control of myself but in that moment I shed a few tears. I’m human, we aren’t built to take everything in our stride and some days we’re a bit more vulnerable than others, which is ok. I’d worry more about someone who never, ever cries.

I cry alot, it may well be once a day.
I think tears are an intimate expression of deep feeling. I'm comfortable crying with my husband but I can't think of anyone else I actually feel ok about crying infront of.
Forced intimacy can be a difficult experience for me, and I expect for other people as well. If I do cry infront of people I don't know well I don't think harshly of them for being awkward about it.

I work with the unemployed. Sometimes clients cry - it's frustration usually. Sometimes they've been declared well enough to work and they don't agree with it. I've never thought anything of it.

What have long nails got to do with anything? Unless you’re just being sexist.

I agree that crying shows emotional strength, not weakness. I grew up in a family where we weren’t encouraged to show our emotions and was told off for crying and “being dramatic” and honestly it fucked me up for years, I couldn’t understand why I felt these feelings and thought there was something wrong with me. Now I’ll cry loud and proud if I feel I need to!

Genuine crying no, waving long nails in front of face and/or being dramatic/ attention seeking yes

OP had mentioned an outreach wellbeing meet up so think that there is something else going on and that she is taking steps to address it

It depends on the situation. I used to work with a woman who cried often at work, at least twice a week, and it was quite difficult. She didn’t cope in very common work situations where there may be a problem and therefore really she wasn’t capable of the job she was doing. Everyone had to be really careful around her to avoid the awkwardness of her crying and we were all relived when she left.

I think if someone is crying in the company of people they’re not particularly close to, over situations that aren’t particularly traumatic, then you have to realise that it can be quite awkward for others to know what to say and how to deal with it.

As you’re crying most days, and it sounds like it is over quite small things, would it benefit you to see your GP? Or talk to someone close to you about how you’re feeling? I know when I was tearful for a period of time, it wasn’t really because of the small things I seemed to be getting emotional over, it was actually something bigger going on that I needed to deal with. Crying over small things is a sign there is something else going on. It can’t be pleasant for you to feel how you do so I’d try to ge5 to the cause and see if you can feel better.

I don’t think crying at appropriate situations is wrong. Crying because you get rained on and are wet is really odd though and I can see why others would view it as odd or attention seeking.

Crying "at least once most days" sounds like a lot of crying to me TBH.
Are you menopausal? - Or depressed? - Or going through a very sad time in your life?

It's a sign of strong emotion, not weakness.