Husband never takes kids out

I think you have to start the way you mean to go on - it starts when your babies are small. Dads should be involved in all aspects of care - bathing, dressing, bedtime and taking out and about. How have you got to age 7 and 4 and he never takes them out?

You need to have a sit down discussion and lay it out for him - this is what you need to do that you're not doing. Taking kids to parties, activities, the park, shopping etc. He needs to learn to manage the children on his own. Present it as non-negotiable because it is - it's a big part of being a parent. If you don't get anywhere, I'd be questioning his commitment to family life and reconsider if you want to continue the relationship.

@Ketzele I'd call leaving that relationship a win.

Oh god I went through this. Worst was Sundays in the playground - it was all dads there and me! I don't have any good advice, OP, I failed and in the end left the relationship.

My DP is SAHD for now, and he’s told me he gets funny looks when he’s out on his own with DD. Whereas when I carry her around in the sling, people smile at me. It’s made him feel quite self conscious.

OP it’s just really sad - he doesn’t want to be a parent. My DP has a friend similar, who doesn’t like spending time with his kids. Moans and curses them! Whereas we love spending time with DD and as a family. Maybe some people just aren’t ready for it, or can’t appreciate it.

I can never get my head round this I always found it easier to take them out

with in reason at 4 and 7 they’ll entertain each other other

I do wonder if some men just lack confidence and worry about perception when taking kids out. Or they are just pricks who don’t understand that kids seem occupied and happy to watch tv all day but actually end up fractious, wind each other up and bored.

This and many other issues, are why I am a single parent. I used to see men out with their kids, at the park, fishing, taking them for food and feel this sadness. Why wouldn't my husband do anything with them? It was just TV or falling asleep while the kids played at home (he thought that was looking after them - once my daughter (4) cut my baby son's hair while he was asleep). So I became a single parent and then just accepted I had to do it all.

YANBU. My EXH was like this. Sheer laziness. Particularly galling was if I got back after a few hours out was that not only had he plonked the kids in front of the tv all day, he had done absolutely nothing round the house but sat on his arse. I used to come back to such carnage with hyper kids and a wrecked house that it usually decided it wasn’t worth going out.

I totally sympathise with you.

Same here

He'sd rather watch porn and play video games

Incredibly sad

Does he say why?

Tell him it’s unacceptable and he needs to do this. Children are like dogs and need to be exercised for a good few hours a day. Doesn’t have to be soft play hell, but a good walk in the woods and a play at the park, a walk and feed the ducks, whatever but he needs to step up.

is thete a massive drip feed coming that you don’t work and have a cleaner and he’s working 60 hours a week?

dh and I have had discussions and we make our weekends work. To the park etc if we are both around we all go. What he doing?

Sounds like you have 3 children, not 2

Absolutely YANBU, it’s pathetic. What is his reasoning behind never taking them anywhere? What does he say when you say you’re doing the parties etc this weekend? No wonder you’re stressed, you have another child

Why won’t he take them to a party?