Husband never takes kids out

Why are you still with him!

My ex husband wouldn’t take the children anywhere alone in case ‘people’ thought he was a single dad or unemployed.
He is a single dad now.

I say this all the time. Too many men want wives and children but don’t want to be husbands and fathers.

How do so many useless men find wives?

He sounds like a shit dad and a shit spouse.

Same here. Our daughter is now a teenager and he complains that she doesn’t talk to him
or want to spend and time with him, and it’s because he never made the effort when she was young. And still doesn’t now.
Let your husband know that his future relationship with his kids is in his hands, they won’t chase him for long.

If the house is a mess because you’re out all weekend with the kids why isn’t he sorting the house out? Does he just sit on arse and wait for you to do everything for him? How have you put up with that?

Its laziness .. tell him to start taking them to the park it will do himself good to walk in fresh air ... surely he will see the kids enjoyment and know it's good for them.
He might get talking to other dads ... is it because he is in work he wants to just sit around the house I'd go crazy doing that.

Get a cleaner and a babysitter, tell DH he is paying. Take yourself off for a lovely day of shopping, then go for dinner with friends. I’d basically make a habit of dumping them on him every other weekend and leave a list of instructions, i.e take them to party at x o’clock.

My kids are 11 and 14 and my husband has never taken them anywhere
Its always been a huge bug bear of mine. He was very engaged with them in the home and if we went out as a family but he just would not/will not take them out alone.
He is not a social person at all and didn't want to go anywhere where there would be chit chat with other parents such as parties, on the football side lines, picking up from brownies, etc.
I did everything and still do. My daughter is very close to him as shes a home body so they do spend quality time together within the home.
But my son is very active, sporty and likes being out and about. My husband has had 14 years of opportunity to play football with him, take him fishing, to matches, whatever and never has. My son feels very disconnected from him and has very often felt upset as he saw other dads doing these things with their sons. It made him and me very close as I took on the role of mum and dad. Unfortunately now they hardly have any relationship at all, husband pays for everything but they hardly even speak to each other. Its horrible and I berate myself daily for picking this man as their father .

It’s also sad that your time alone is to clean up!!
have you spoken to him about it?

I honestly couldn’t be with someone like that, I’d find them so utterly pathetic.

Sorry, OP. Must be infuriating.

Have you communicated this?

I saw a great quote earlier today, roughly along the lines of…

“Marry someone who wants to be a husband and father, not someone who wants a wife and kids”.

Your husband is pointless.

Ironically you’d probably get more free time if you were separated.

How pathetic. How has he managed to avoid it for 7 years?

Neither, men like this are just lazy and selfish.

Sad another married single mother. Dump him. You’ll be happier.

What’s the point?

He sounds utterly pointless.

What does he bring to your life, exactly?

Mine is the same. Thinks working full time equates to having a pass from doing any parenting or any house work.
He has done nothing with them over summer, he never has and never will unless its them watching TV with him.
I live my life like a single parent and plan for weekends as if I don't have a partner.

Like others I’m a single parent and this is one reason why. My kids were a similar age to yours when we split up.

They need activity well into their secondary school years so it’s not something that will change very soon.

Some examples. My exh gave me the silent treatment once after I came home from the only weekend away I had with friends. He lost his job during Covid and once when I was working from home he asked me to finish early to watch the kids so he could make dinner. I dared to leave the house for 45 minutes to get a flu jab and he sulked about it for ages. But my personal favourite was when, also during the time he wasn’t working, he asked me to finish work early to help with the kids. I said no because I had something to finish. He said “can’t you just do that when they’re in bed?”

I’m afraid he’s still useless

This is one of the reasons I am a single parent!! Now he only has them every other weekend and still does nothing with them and wonders why they’re bored, frustrated & bickering. The saddest part is my older 2 (12 & 10) don’t want to stay there at all any more. I still feel the sadness when I see dads/families out and about but I can’t change him.

Did he even want kids to start with?

Was he hands on when they were babies and toddlers?

IMO, it’s unacceptable. And cruel. Cruel on the children and cruel on you. From the info you’ve given, I would say he’s a shit parent and a shit husband. I couldn’t be married to someone like this.

Just tell him it's his turn.

He doesn't want to be a dad.

He'd rather do whatever he's doing than do something with his kids.