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AIBU to be proud of my DS for protecting a group of girls.

83 replies

H0210zero · 27/08/2025 20:35

My DS is 12 however he's well built bigger then some grown men. But has long hair so sometimes from behind looks like a girl. Back in June as he was waiting for a bus from school with a small group of female friends. One of his friends began to get hassled by a drunk man looked as though he was also on some sort of drugs. Who was getting very provocative with her. Scaring her. She is 13 so you can imagine the fear. I don't think at this point he had realised my son was a male. This girl and a few others had asked the man to leave them alone. He tried at one point to snatch a phone and my DS just had enough he does boxing as a hobby and warned this man to leave the girls alone the man mocked him calling him a pansy due to his hair. Then tried to grab an 11 year old girls boobs making her cry. Sneering at them. My son took a swing and knocked the man out cold. Some adults did appear shortly after and kept an eye on the man who was passed out and called Police and ambulance. The idiot was fine just a bruised ego and a bust lip. Police arrested him for theft (he'd attacked someone else further along the street and took their phone) possession if class A drugs and also indecent assault on a minor. We were told he was already on the sex offenders list and not meant to be near a school. The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further then made a point of making it clear to the guy when he came round that the 12 year old who he called a pansy was the one who laid him out cold.

The AIBU is because just this week I bumped into one of the other kids parents. (A girl who wasn't touched and had managed to back away from the man). Other parents have sent him chocolates and thanked him for protecting the girls. This mother however berated me for allowing my son to learn to fight, because in her view he could have made the situation worse if the man and retaliated and hurt him or the other kids and he could have had a weapon. She seemed really put out when I said I was proud of him as if she expected me to tell him off. She seemed to think the kids should have tried to stay calm and ignore the man until the bus arrived and they could be safe. She had no consideration for the few girls that had already been grabbed and groped or nearly had their phone stolen or the fact the man was already a sex offender. She expects them to "hold on" and put up with it till an adult arrives. AIBU to be proud of my boy. He stood up for girls who couldn't despite the risks.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 28/08/2025 10:55

And she is right the guy could have had a knife, or a gun, or a syringe, or anything, I wouldn't encourage your son to think it's OK to do this in case it ends badly for him next time

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 28/08/2025 10:54

The police shook his hand?

The other guy was unconscious but they waited for other adults to come and call the police?

If any of this is true, going straight from telling the guy to stop, to punching him out cold is mental. Surely you call the police / run away first. The boy could have killed the guy. Yes he might have been able to get away with self defence as a defence to avoid prosecution / a sentence but would you really want your teen going through that??

Mustbethat · 28/08/2025 10:52

PinsAndfg · 28/08/2025 10:43

Legally you're allowed to strike preemptively if you feel that you are in danger. OP's son defending vulnerable young women. Wouldn't be in public interest for the CPS to prosecute him. And even so, defense barrister would get him off

I agree.

however that is for an investigation/CPS/court to decide.

The chances of police shaking someone’s hand and say well done for laying someone out cold with no investigation as to the facts are slim to none.

they arrest first, establish what has actually happened, and then decide whether the assault is self defence or otherwise defensible.

o/p’s son assaulted someone. The police can’t unilaterally decide he’s assaulted the “right” kind of person.

especially if they guy was out cold. Until he’s been assessed at hospital they would have no idea if there are brain bleeds or skull fractures- so chances are it would be treated as a “potential fatal” until the extent of injuries assessed.

so the son would be taken to the station to at least get a statement, if not arrested until the facts established.

so yeah. That.

CallMeFlo · 28/08/2025 10:50

The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further then made a point of making it clear to the guy when he came round that the 12 year old who he called a pansy was the one who laid him out cold

And in today's episode of things that didnt happen......

PinsAndfg · 28/08/2025 10:43

Whosunreasonable · 28/08/2025 10:18

They do. Any boxer especially kids with a decent trainer will always be told "your fists are now weapons, self defense(if someone hits you first) is one thing but NEVER throw the first punch..

Legally you're allowed to strike preemptively if you feel that you are in danger. OP's son defending vulnerable young women. Wouldn't be in public interest for the CPS to prosecute him. And even so, defense barrister would get him off

Whosunreasonable · 28/08/2025 10:18

Ilikewinter · 27/08/2025 22:28

No reply from the OP?? ...... I can't imagine the Police shaking his hand for knocking someone out with a punch - I thought boxers had it drummed into them not to react like that.

They do. Any boxer especially kids with a decent trainer will always be told "your fists are now weapons, self defense(if someone hits you first) is one thing but NEVER throw the first punch..

PinsAndfg · 28/08/2025 10:04

ittakes2 · 28/08/2025 09:57

They were in at a bus stop not trapped in a room - I don't understand why they put up with this escalating behaviour and did not just walk away.

Have you heard of the one punch charity? promoting how one punch can lead to death? If your son had of hit this man in a part of his head or if he'd fallen and died after hitting his head on the curb .... you do realise that your son would have had to face the criminal consequences and his life would have forever been changed.

If your son wants to make a difference I think some advice on deescalating situations would be useful for him. Being able to use his head to defuse situations in future would make him a hero in everyone's eyes.

A good defense barrister could have argued that he was doing it to protect others. And it's not DS's fault if appropriate force was used and pervert has an eggshell skull

ittakes2 · 28/08/2025 09:57

They were in at a bus stop not trapped in a room - I don't understand why they put up with this escalating behaviour and did not just walk away.

Have you heard of the one punch charity? promoting how one punch can lead to death? If your son had of hit this man in a part of his head or if he'd fallen and died after hitting his head on the curb .... you do realise that your son would have had to face the criminal consequences and his life would have forever been changed.

If your son wants to make a difference I think some advice on deescalating situations would be useful for him. Being able to use his head to defuse situations in future would make him a hero in everyone's eyes.

Onwardspeople · 28/08/2025 09:40

Violence is very rarely an appropriate response, but in this situation, I am not sure what else he could do? They had asked the weird pervert to stop and he didn't. I certainly wouldn't stand by and watch a young girl be sexually assaulted, I would absolutely have swung for him.
Providing he knows that this could have gone very differently (pervert could have had a weapon, or he could have accidently killed him) then that is all you can do.

Beeinalily · 28/08/2025 09:33

Your son is a hero OP, but it could have ended badly. But that's the nature of heroism, I guess. Well done to him, the other mum is an ungrateful twit.

CurlewKate · 28/08/2025 09:11

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

tripleginandtonic · 28/08/2025 09:06

If he'd have knocked the man out cold and he'd died that's his life severely impacted. It wouldn't be seen as self defence necessarily. I taught my dc to go and get help. A drugged up man can be stronger than they seem.

Kevinspicey · 28/08/2025 08:55

The antithesis of being bigger than the average man but also being mistaken for a teenage girl 😆

crumpetswithcheeze · 28/08/2025 08:52

The other mother is an idiot.

MsFelicityLemon · 28/08/2025 08:37

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:53

I got 93 year old mum vibes from this too 😂😂

It feels almost like a modern-day Enid Blyton story, where the chief of police would enlist children to help with an investigation and then praise them afterwards for outperforming his own officers.

But well done to the OP's son. We need more 12 year olds, who are bigger than the average man to have his good intentions.

PansyPotter84 · 28/08/2025 08:24

100% your son was in the right here.

You should be very proud of him.

There is a massive difference between looking for trouble and defending others.

If more boys/men were like your son,
there would be fewer disgusting perverts like this who felt able to abuse children in broad daylight.

The school of thought that says “wait for an adult/police/ just film it for evidence later” means letting wierdos and abusers carry on in the hope of getting “justice” later.

Your son stopped further abuse.

There is a time and a place to use force (and the law is on his side too- “fighting back” is not an offence and never has been- it’s self defence or defence of another).

I wish more men and boys were like
your son.

Please show him all of these messages of support. You should be very very proud of
him.

🙂

PigletSanders · 28/08/2025 08:08

Oh OP. 🤣

Laura95167 · 27/08/2025 23:03

I think DS morally did the right thing but he needs to be careful.

1 punch is enough to kill and you dont want DS with a record. He needs to use violence only as a last resort becuase if he had killed him or if he hadnt turned out to be on drugs with sex crime history this could have gone very differently

So yes be proud but also teach caution

ClaraMumsnet · 27/08/2025 22:59

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Kreepture · 27/08/2025 22:49

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MarxistMags · 27/08/2025 22:47

I'd be super proud of him. Glad it didn't all go terribly wrong though.

ScholesPanda · 27/08/2025 22:44

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5128gap · 27/08/2025 22:37

I wonder why there's no report of this in the media. Everyone must have been ever so discrete.

PinsAndfg · 27/08/2025 22:34

I'm not going to read this whole thread because you get the "violence is never the answer" people who say that kind words and social workers should be used in these situations instead

Be proud of your DS

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