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AIBU?

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Original poster

Willies on the beach

137 replies

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 18:44

Today it was a group of mum friends and kids on the beach. My DS age 5 took off his shorts and underwear to put on his swim shorts and was (as usual) in no particular rush, and a mum friend said “ooh Billy put on your shorts quickly”. I didn’t think much of it.

Later, at home time, her own son who is 10 was changing and got distracted so was talking to the other kids whilst naked. She said rather sternly something along the lines of “Tommy no, you’re a big boy, you can’t be doing that, you need to get your pants on”.
I hadn’t thought anything of it but she clearly had an issue.

My DS 5 is my eldest, so this is a new territory for me, and I was wondering at what age it becomes ‘wrong’ (inappropriate?) for being nudey on the beach? I thought it was fine and innocent today and she was being a bit weird, but thinking about it I suppose there must be cut off point or we’d have all the blokes peacocking around with their peacocks out.

I’ll do a poll but I’m more curious than opinionated about the matter.

YABU - a ten year old should not have his bits out and should change quickly
YANBU - it’s all fine, he’s a kid and didn’t have it out all day

OP posts:
welshweasel · 27/08/2025 19:27

Brits are so weird about nudity. Go to many European countries and it’s not uncommon to see naked adults at swimming lakes, in saunas, changing on the beach etc.

Charabanc · 27/08/2025 19:27

Should a ten year old girl be walking around with no pants on in public?

Newsenmum · 27/08/2025 19:26

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:24

Wow I see some of the posters I was warned about have turned up.

im just a mum wondering about an aspect of parents I hadn’t thought about before.

We have a lot of family visitors and it has happened that my son has been without pants in front of them briefly, perhaps when getting changed after a spill, or after using a paddling pool.

Thanks to those who haven’t called me weird and have shared their thoughts, it has been helpful to hear opinions!

If theyre changing then it doesnt matter as its btief. They should never be running around naked.

DashboardConfession · 27/08/2025 19:26

I'd go with the age at which most changing rooms ban opposite sex children, so 7 and under is probably fine.

Newsenmum · 27/08/2025 19:25

Howthough · 27/08/2025 19:16

What a weird question. It's odd to be "fascinated" while asking questions about children's genitals.

Show quote history

Yeah its creepy af.

Caterina99 · 27/08/2025 19:24

My DS is 10. When he was smaller he was not bothered in the slightest about being naked. Now he is very self conscious and there is no way he’d linger at getting changed on a beach. Or be happy about being seen naked on the way a shower.

I’m not sure exactly when the change happened, think it’s been a gradual process from about age 6/7.

Original poster
YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:24

Wow I see some of the posters I was warned about have turned up.

im just a mum wondering about an aspect of parents I hadn’t thought about before.

We have a lot of family visitors and it has happened that my son has been without pants in front of them briefly, perhaps when getting changed after a spill, or after using a paddling pool.

Thanks to those who haven’t called me weird and have shared their thoughts, it has been helpful to hear opinions!

OP posts:
SquirrelRed · 27/08/2025 19:19

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

My 9 year old definitely wouldn't feel comfortable showing his privates to any member of extended family. It is something they usually grow out of on their own

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 27/08/2025 19:18

I think it’s fine at any age while changing…. They will stop it when they feel the need for privacy.

Howthough · 27/08/2025 19:16

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

What a weird question. It's odd to be "fascinated" while asking questions about children's genitals.

ButSheSaid · 27/08/2025 19:14

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

Why on earth would this need to happen? Confused

QuaverQuanta · 27/08/2025 19:12

I'd say I'm fairly easy going. My 6 year old is autistic and likes to be naked and free but this is at home only and when we know we aren't expecting anyone. If we are expecting someone who we have an arrangement with that they let themselves in, he has to at least have pants on.

I would do a quick change discretely on a beach (although tbh we use towel robes because they are 194629 times easier) but running around naked on a beach playing instead of wearing shorts? Absolutely not.

Newsenmum · 27/08/2025 19:11

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

Bit weird you find this fascinating. 😳There’s no ‘cut off’ you just know how mentally aware/able they are.

Newsenmum · 27/08/2025 19:09

Does the ten year old have additional needs? This is quite a weird post. Kids just get changed and obviously you remind them to not be naked because in society we wear clothes to be safe. I wouldnt let any kid parade naked.

Knackeredmommy · 27/08/2025 19:08

I don’t see the issue with 2 children getting changed into their trunks. I think all children get to an age where they are naturally more discreet.

welshweasel · 27/08/2025 19:07

I think both are fine in the context of changing. My 6 year old would happily run around naked on the beach, my 9 year old would make an attempt at changing quickly/under a towel, as he doesn’t like people seeing his willy. At home we all walk round naked, no issues.

homeedhorrors · 27/08/2025 19:07

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

I think a lot of 10 year old boys would rather die than walk naked in front of their extended family!

MeridaBrave · 27/08/2025 19:03

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

I would say yes too old. Matters less in front a cousin same sex and similar age getting changed together, but no i would want to see nephew’s willy on way shower.

BlondeSailor · 27/08/2025 19:01

BBQthisweekend · 27/08/2025 18:53

I imagine it’s quite a personal thing, but I’ve taught DS from the start we don’t get naked in front of other people - I’ve never changed him in public and if he needs to pop into swim shorts etc I’ll take him to the loos on our way to the beach. No panicking about accidental slips/shorts falling down etc, it’s just something we avoid. I don’t think I even changed him as a baby in public!

I've done exactly the same as this rather than try and find a cut off of when it's okay/not I've always just found it easier to keep everything private, plus then knows only certain people can help you change and see you like that. I've always thought if I wouldn't want to do it I wont put them in that situation, yes been a hassle sometimes but always managed fine Xxx

Original poster
YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 19:00

This is fascinating.

What about at home amongst extended family (grandparents, uncles and aunts)? Is ten too old to have bits showing for example on way too and from a shower?

OP posts:
Cutleryclaire · 27/08/2025 19:00

I think it’s fine 🤷🏼‍♀️

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 19:00

BBQthisweekend · 27/08/2025 18:53

I imagine it’s quite a personal thing, but I’ve taught DS from the start we don’t get naked in front of other people - I’ve never changed him in public and if he needs to pop into swim shorts etc I’ll take him to the loos on our way to the beach. No panicking about accidental slips/shorts falling down etc, it’s just something we avoid. I don’t think I even changed him as a baby in public!

I am honestly not being goady, but how will he manage in changing rooms at school and in rooms during residentials?

Mumsntfan1 · 27/08/2025 18:58

I think both are fine, no issue. But I'm in Germany so probably different if you're in the Uk!

homeedhorrors · 27/08/2025 18:58

I think a 10 year old's willy casually out at the beach is a bit too much. A 5 year old getting changed, fine, but wouldn't want him running around naked on the beach either.

Candlesandmatches · 27/08/2025 18:56

Some children naturally are more shy about their bodies. Others are not. There’s no set rule in my opinion. As they approach puberty and changed start to happen they are much less likely to wander around naked.