Willies on the beach

I agree that the whole thing feels really off. Reported.

Shall we get rid of this thread now? Op has her answer and tbe title is kind of creepy. Lets get rid.

I don't let my DD9 get changed in public and haven't since she was about 4. I wouldn't mind so much around friends and family but you don't know what perverts are in public places!

There was another thread that was posted by a man that has been taken down by the administrators - I hadn’t had the opportunity to report it.

I was going to post the following:

“I really feel this thread is inappropriate.

I know that, on the face or it, it seems harmless. But the OP is giving off predator vibes.

I feel he just posted this to get everyone else to talk about their children in this way.

Something seems off.”

And now I’ve come across this thread.

It sometimes happens on Reddit that predators post these sorts of threads to get people talking about children in ways that aren’t appropriate. It appears innocent - but the objective is to get others talking about their children. When this happens it often happens in multiple sub reddits.

The language of the title of this post “Willies on the beach” - is not the sort of language that mums on here typically post. It just isn’t. I spend a lot of time on here and that post and this post seem weird.

I find the “English” approach to this fascinating too OP, and I’m British.

Why would anyone worry about nudity when it’s for the purposes of getting changed? I never wanted my kids to feel uncomfortable about their bodies, so we’re relaxed about nudity. Now they’re teens they know that flashing is a crime, so they’re more careful to keep things hidden while changing, but only out of politeness - I don’t think they’d care for their own sake if someone got a glimpse. All this uptightness is insane. It’s not the 1800s FGS.

Eh, to be honest I couldn’t give a monkeys if I saw a fully grown blokes bits on the beach if he was getting changed and wouldn’t be bothered if my kids did either - let alone a 10 year old boy or younger.

Sexual stuff in public or intimidation (such as intentional flashers) = absolutely not. But not bothering to do the British “towel dance”, the towel slipping or simply just getting changed without being paranoid about completely covering themselves? Good for them.

In most public beaches elsewhere in Europe it isn’t an issue, I have no idea why we seem so prudish in this country. We all know it would be quicker and easier to get properly dry if we weren’t trying to do it while covered up.

My ds is 5 and I wouldn’t want him naked on the beach in case of pervs

I found that my sons got shy about their bodies at around age 8-10.

☝

You're absolutely not weird!
My kids are happy to be naked at home which is how it should be should they choose! I also stroll around naked to and from the shower etc and don't rush to cover up if they come in the bathroom or bedroom.
Bodies are natural and not to be embarrassed about, I know my children wouldn't think twice about coming to me with a spot on their bum or whatever other personal concerns they may have growing up and not being to embarrassed to ask or show me something which is really important.
They absolutely should be able to be naked whilst changing on a beach and I would bat an eyelid but the reality is things are changing and it is to keep them safe, you are amongst complete strangers so best to very kindly encouraged to be discreet and private, just hold a towel up. Another concern of mine would be that people have phones and are taking pictures and videos all the time, I'm not saying someone would deliberately take a picture of your naked child but he could very easily be in the background of something that could end up shared as a funny clip!

If I’ve understood this correctly the 10 year old wasn’t running around in public with his bits hanging out, he was getting changed in the comfort of his own home whilst distracted chatting, I’d hardly say this was inappropriate! It’s good he feels relaxed in his own home, I’m sure at the age if 10 he will very soon naturally become more shy/self conscious and this type of thing wont be an issue

Totally agree!

Both is fine.
Im English. Live in the UK....10 minutes from the beach.

Age 5 - completely fine - I think it starts to become a bit trickier between 8 and 10 years old if you are in public (I know they are still very pre puberty but even so). At home I think the cut off age is later still. They way i benchmark it is that a lot of public swimming pools have 8 as the cut off where boys have to go change by themselves in the men's changing room and can't just change with their mum in the ladies for example.

Oh dear you are not an anthropologist, per chance? The most vexing module I've ever had to take at post graduate level and the most idiotic self satisfied lecturers too.

I dont think it's weird, if the kid is comfortable. He was just changing, and like many kids his age, got a bit distracted.
If anything, doing a weird towel holding shuffle is more awkward and more likely to draw attention than just a quick change. I think its quite sad that we are teaching children to hide their bodies from such an early age.
He will become conscious of his body soon enough, dont take the bits of childhood from them if you dont have to.

And i don't think it's weird to be interested in what is considered normal in other houses. We ask questions about every other aspect of our lives, why not this?

I’d agree with other posts, 5 year old isn’t really an issue but by ten should be more aware

💯

My siblings and I were born in Germany so although we came to England when I was just a baby I grew up with the picture books they had been bought when over there. I remember being surprised at all the willies! Illustrations of boys peeing etc. We'd never EVER have had those in England!

Gosh, you're so right. How elitist of me to find it unsettling that someone posts so many questions about little boys and their "willies" and scenarios wherein they may expose their "willies" in front of adults, related or unrelated.

I personally wouldn’t care about seeing a 10 or 5 year old getting Changed on the beach but I wouldn’t let a child be naked on the beach. There are weirdos about and everyone has a camera phone, I always held a towel around mine when they got changed for privacy.

I buy long towel poncho type things for the beach so my son can take his shorts off underneath and pull his pants on with some cover.
At 10 children should know that not everybody is allowed to see them naked! For safeguarding reasons

Germany too!

Our two were same as @Caterina99 DS. We were pretty relaxed about nudity (in the home only!) but they lead the way as they got older becoming shy changers and certainly not wanting to see their parents bits. Around 6ish I guess?

@YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy Whether this is acceptable or unacceptable depends solely on the environment and the sex of the people the boys are with. Boys changing in front of other boys and being naked is OK, and that's OK into adulthood. Boys changing in front of girls is an issue as girls may be upset.

Later, at home time, her own son who is 10 was changing and got distracted so was talking to the other kids whilst naked. She said rather sternly something along the lines of “Tommy no, you’re a big boy, you can’t be doing that, you need to get your pants on”.

So again, who are the other kids? If it was other boys then it's OK, whereas if there were girls then I would say that's not OK.

Obviously it's fine for boys and men to change in front of each other. Dozens of boys are naked in front of each other whenever they use the showers in schools after PE. Men in leisure centre changing rooms seem to spend a lot of time walking around naked.