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AIBU?

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Original poster

Willies on the beach

137 replies

YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 18:44

Today it was a group of mum friends and kids on the beach. My DS age 5 took off his shorts and underwear to put on his swim shorts and was (as usual) in no particular rush, and a mum friend said “ooh Billy put on your shorts quickly”. I didn’t think much of it.

Later, at home time, her own son who is 10 was changing and got distracted so was talking to the other kids whilst naked. She said rather sternly something along the lines of “Tommy no, you’re a big boy, you can’t be doing that, you need to get your pants on”.
I hadn’t thought anything of it but she clearly had an issue.

My DS 5 is my eldest, so this is a new territory for me, and I was wondering at what age it becomes ‘wrong’ (inappropriate?) for being nudey on the beach? I thought it was fine and innocent today and she was being a bit weird, but thinking about it I suppose there must be cut off point or we’d have all the blokes peacocking around with their peacocks out.

I’ll do a poll but I’m more curious than opinionated about the matter.

YABU - a ten year old should not have his bits out and should change quickly
YANBU - it’s all fine, he’s a kid and didn’t have it out all day

OP posts:
thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 04:16

My mum used to hold a towel up on one side and my dad on the other so we could get changed privately on the beach. It's not necessary at all to discuss any of this, this is giving a weird vibe and I am going to report the thread too.

thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 04:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

There's a weird amount of leniency for paedo type or paedo adjacent threads on this site, for sure.

thebabayaga · 28/08/2025 04:08

TotHappy · 27/08/2025 20:58

Not everyone feels the same about nudity, that's just a fact. Not everyone feels the same about paedophiles either, it seems.
To me, if my child is naked on a beach while changing, and a paedophile sees them and is aroused, no harm has been done to my child.
I keep my child safe by being with them, only leaving them with trusted adults, talking to them about what they're to do if they somehow got separated and what they are not to do.
If someone sees my child and thinks a thought - while that's repulsive to dwell on, my child doesn't know and I don't know so we aren't harmed.
I think the benefits of my child being changed easily and without drama outweigh the negative of someone seeing them and thinking something disgusting.

You're good with paedophiles storing up your child's body in their wank bank to get excited about later? There's something wrong with you. I suppose this sort of weird thread attracts - certain people.

marshmallowfinder · 28/08/2025 03:34

I think the time has come when any nudity in any public area by children of any age is a no.

SisterMarie · 27/08/2025 22:15

I think everyone will give a different answer. In my culture we are very modest so everyone will get changed completely in private anyway.

Other people are more open i suppose

TotHappy · 27/08/2025 20:58

Not everyone feels the same about nudity, that's just a fact. Not everyone feels the same about paedophiles either, it seems.
To me, if my child is naked on a beach while changing, and a paedophile sees them and is aroused, no harm has been done to my child.
I keep my child safe by being with them, only leaving them with trusted adults, talking to them about what they're to do if they somehow got separated and what they are not to do.
If someone sees my child and thinks a thought - while that's repulsive to dwell on, my child doesn't know and I don't know so we aren't harmed.
I think the benefits of my child being changed easily and without drama outweigh the negative of someone seeing them and thinking something disgusting.

Muffinmam · 27/08/2025 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Muffinmam · 27/08/2025 20:41

Newsenmum · 27/08/2025 20:22

I agree that the whole thing feels really off. Reported.

Show quote history

And the administrators think it’s ok because the profile has been around for a while 🤦🏼‍♀️

Someone who has a “fascination” with this sort of thing shouldn’t be allowed to post.

There are people here who don’t understand what this post is attempting to do (talk about exposure of children in public).

It’s not appropriate.

If this were random maybe I wouldn’t give it another thought - but the title is deliberately inappropriate and it’s not random because another inappropriate post was just taken down about something else - by a person claiming that they were a man.

I understand men are on here - but a man posting such content seems to be a deliberate attempt to get other mothers to talk about their children’s private parts. It’s not ok.

Kreepture · 27/08/2025 20:40

we had a sun tent to change in. So never ever in public.

Radicalpiloti · 27/08/2025 20:39

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 19:00

I am honestly not being goady, but how will he manage in changing rooms at school and in rooms during residentials?

Show quote history

Or in naked only saunas in countries that are not UK!

Stonewallslemon · 27/08/2025 20:37

Is this really, seriously a topic for discussion? Does anyone really seriously think it’s a good idea for children to be publicly naked ?

BingaBongBoom · 27/08/2025 20:36

Muffinmam · 27/08/2025 20:19

There was another thread that was posted by a man that has been taken down by the administrators - I hadn’t had the opportunity to report it.

I was going to post the following:

“I really feel this thread is inappropriate.

I know that, on the face or it, it seems harmless. But the OP is giving off predator vibes.

I feel he just posted this to get everyone else to talk about their children in this way.

Something seems off.”

And now I’ve come across this thread.

It sometimes happens on Reddit that predators post these sorts of threads to get people talking about children in ways that aren’t appropriate. It appears innocent - but the objective is to get others talking about their children. When this happens it often happens in multiple sub reddits.

The language of the title of this post “Willies on the beach” - is not the sort of language that mums on here typically post. It just isn’t. I spend a lot of time on here and that post and this post seem weird.

I reported it too, for the same reason.

Original poster
YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy · 27/08/2025 20:35

Thanks mumsnet!
And thanks to those who answered. It’s something I will consider as I continue to try raising my kids as best I can.
It’s clearly a point that people have contrasting views on and this is a good forum to get a sense of how people consider different issues. I do feel sorry for you @Newsenmum going to such dark places in your mind with it. But like you said, I’ve had lots of answers so I don’t mind if the thread gets deleted. Or you could just turn it off! ☮️

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 27/08/2025 20:34

Taztoy · 27/08/2025 18:48

Age 5, just about ok but at the upper range. Age 10 definitely not ok.

This^ is my view as well.
And I would expect parents to help them to do it quickly and more discreetly.

VanessaWombat · 27/08/2025 20:33

Muffinmam · 27/08/2025 20:19

There was another thread that was posted by a man that has been taken down by the administrators - I hadn’t had the opportunity to report it.

I was going to post the following:

“I really feel this thread is inappropriate.

I know that, on the face or it, it seems harmless. But the OP is giving off predator vibes.

I feel he just posted this to get everyone else to talk about their children in this way.

Something seems off.”

And now I’ve come across this thread.

It sometimes happens on Reddit that predators post these sorts of threads to get people talking about children in ways that aren’t appropriate. It appears innocent - but the objective is to get others talking about their children. When this happens it often happens in multiple sub reddits.

The language of the title of this post “Willies on the beach” - is not the sort of language that mums on here typically post. It just isn’t. I spend a lot of time on here and that post and this post seem weird.

Your post makes sense.

Surveille222 · 27/08/2025 20:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Lyraloo · 27/08/2025 20:31

LardyDee · 27/08/2025 18:50

Both fine

Ridiculous answer of course it’s not fine for a ten year old to be naked among much younger children, also, you have no control over who else is around on the beach. Beaches and swimming pools are notorious for having paedophiles hanging around. Why would you want to put your child at risk?

Blablibladirladada · 27/08/2025 20:30

I kinda agree in teaching from the beginning that you don’t stay naked in front of others and you change fast. Fast for a 5years old being very different than a 10years old.

AardvarkaKedavra · 27/08/2025 20:30

Yeah, I'm getting creepy vibes here, too. 😓

Edit: But apparently it's fine, so I'd say it would be odd for a typical 10 year-old to walk around home without clothing, especially if there are visitors, even if they are only extended family (any age, any sex).

stichguru · 27/08/2025 20:29

If it slips out because let's face it, holding a towel round you, de sanding the sandy bits, not sanding the non-sandy bits and actually changing are hard for an adult much less a kid, it's fine at both 5 and 10. Just standing there with their willy out was never ok.

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 27/08/2025 20:28

This thread has been getting a lot of reports, so we wanted to say that although we can never vouch for anyone, the OP's been with us for a long time and never given us cause for concern before.

Muffsies · 27/08/2025 20:24

When kids get to 10 they start to grow up quite quickly, so they should start getting used to changing privately before this age. It'll be different for every kid, so you should use your discretion.

I personally hate when kids lose their carefree innocence (but equally, it's just a natural part of growing up). I wouldn't shout or tell off my son for slipping-up though, I wouldn't want him to feel bad or ashamed of himself, or to think that his body is 'wrong' or not acceptable. There's a huge difference between an incidental slip, and intentional flashing.

blackpooolrock · 27/08/2025 20:23

both would be fine, i couldn't care less about it.

CareerChange24 · 27/08/2025 20:23

DeborahKerr · 27/08/2025 18:48

You are on MN.

Some poster accused a little boy to be a dangerous sex predator because he was showing his batman pants to a girl. Some posters on here have serious issues!

This made me laugh!

Muchtoomuchtodo · 27/08/2025 20:22

One of our DS started developing pubic hair at 8 (no concerns from GP). Because of this I would think 6/7 this is the age to be more aware of being naked in public.

Now they’re older teens they’ll often nip across the landing to the shower with a towel very loosely covering themselves! What happens in private is very different to what is appropriate in public places.