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AIBU?

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DH stole from me

303 replies

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:18

At the weekend DH and I went to Knaresborough for a day out - famous for its sausage rolls and pork pies. I don’t like pork pies so I was very much looking forward to the lovely sausage rolls we bought in the bakery. It wasn’t a sausage roll, it was a bean roll but these are just as famous and they looked delicious. DH gobbled his up immediately whereas I took mine home to eat later in comfort of my own home.

later that evening, I wanted to try it but didn’t want the whole thing so I ripped a bit off the end to eat and kept the rest wrapped up in the fridge ready to eat today. I was very much looking forward to it. At lunch time I put my soup on and went to get the sausage roll - it wasn’t there. I messaged DH and he didn’t reply (coward) so I called his work place who went to find him. He denied it at first but eventually admitted to running off with it this morning. I’m gutted. I know it’s a small thing and it’s just a sausage roll but it’s the disrespect, the lies, the outright disregard for my feelings. Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced. At the very least I want an apology. AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

OP posts:
Momoftwoscallywags · 27/08/2025 18:56

My DH did this when we first moved into together 30 years ago.

We treated ourselves to some chocolate from an aristan market stall and he scoffed his portion at the first opportunity.

My portion was placed reverently in the fridge for future consumption.

A few days later the time had come.......ohh the anticipation.........it was my day off, I made a cup of tea to enjoy with said chocolate.... only to find the bastard had eaten it!

He got full barrels when he came home. His excuse was that I obviously didn't want it as I would have eaten it already! WTF! you do understand that you need to ASK?

I said it was a matter of trust, if I can't trust you NOT to take something which has little worth like chocolate (because TBH it would have been easy and cheap to replace), how can I trust that you won't take the £10 quid left on the side for the window cleaner, or take money from my purse or take my car without asking.

He said that I was being ridiculous and that it was just chocolate. Fine I said.

So the next time we attempted to treat ourselves in the same way I said no, I can't trust you. The next time I left the £10 on side to pay the window cleaner I asked him not to take it because, well, I can't trust you. I asked for a key cabinet to be installed so I could lock my car keys away because he was untrustworthy and then starting obviously putting my purse in a lockable draw.......I could go on and on and I did. 😉

Anyway, he turned out very trustworthy in the end, once he realised what an idiot he had been.😂
oh and he has NEVER taken my chocolate again!

Overtheatlantic · 27/08/2025 18:52

You mention twice how much you were looking forward to the “lovely” sausage roll but then you don’t actually eat it. Lol, you kind of created a situation but yes he shouldn’t have lied.

Alltheyellowbirds · 27/08/2025 18:51

You called his workplace and made someone go and get him so you could ask if he’d eaten a sausage roll??? Gently, OP, this isn’t a normal thing to do.

Im guessing there is a larger issue at play in the relationship, but really, you don’t call someone’s work over something like this. Or not at most workplaces anyway, I guess I don’t know what DP does.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 27/08/2025 18:51

We have a 24 hour rule for really good goodies, after that it’s fair game.

popcornandpotatoes · 27/08/2025 18:51

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 27/08/2025 17:23

I mean your post & reaction to this make you sound batshit crazy but I'll hazard a guess that there is a lot more to this and this one incident is the one to tip you over the edge?

Does it? I love DH and have a happy marriage but I would be extremely upset if he ate food I was saving. Food is important to me and something I look forward to

Andsoitbeganagain · 27/08/2025 18:50

Wow, and I thought I had problems coming home to my alcoholic husband accusing me of an affair. You need to LTB.

Keyhooks · 27/08/2025 18:48

A pattern of such behaviour is always a red flag to the character of someone IMO.

CombatBarbie · 27/08/2025 18:44

Is yahoo still a thing???

PandorasMailbox · 27/08/2025 18:42

It's never just about the sausage roll......

TheSwarm · 27/08/2025 18:42

Chinny reckon aye?

Zanatdy · 27/08/2025 18:41

Bang out of order.

Mindy456 · 27/08/2025 18:41

Definately an Overreaction, its just a sausage roll, i wouldnt class it as stealing more helping themselves 🙈🙈

JayJayj · 27/08/2025 18:41

Talltreesbythelake · 27/08/2025 17:22

It was proper Northern baked goods. No jury would convict, OP. Give him both barrels. By which I mean scoff all the hobnobs and leave him the custard creams. Hope he learns his lesson.

I love custard creams and hate hobnobs. This would not be a punishment for me 🤣🤣

FlockofSquirrels · 27/08/2025 18:38

the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo

This is my favorite detail.

Creative writing mark: 2/5

Shewasafaireh · 27/08/2025 18:38

Is this a case of “I was really looking forward to it” or “It was morally mine so even if it was on the verge of spoiling, no one else can have it either”?

autienotnaughty · 27/08/2025 18:38

Selfish of him but why didnt you eat it yesterday?

Lafufufu · 27/08/2025 18:36

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:23

It was not 3 days, we bought them on Monday and it was bean so it doesn’t go off as quickly as sausage

I was on your side until this emormous dripfeed...
😵🥴😵‍💫

It was sat around for 48hrs!!!!

you made it sound like you went to sleep and it vanished.... it aas malingering in the fridge and by day 2 he very likely assumed it was going in the bin otherwise....
Pastries like that are really nicest when fresh

He's still a dick for eating it...
But if you know hes a dick you prob shouldn't have left it lying about

usedtobeaylis · 27/08/2025 18:35

Do people really think the the sausage roll in and of itself is the issue?

But even if it was - he's still been a prick about it.

crazeekat · 27/08/2025 18:33

LTB

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2025 18:32

For the hard of reading: Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

Hairshare · 27/08/2025 18:32

I can't believe that anyone could be so very upset and angry about a missing sausage roll, though what DH did was certainly irritating. You might consider some couples counselling to explore what is really going on.

MyDeftHedgehog · 27/08/2025 18:31

Sirzy · 27/08/2025 17:21

After it sitting in the fridge for 3 days I would be starting to assume it wasn’t going to be eaten to be fair!

Yes he shouldn’t have taken it but your response seems like a massive overreaction on the face of this one incident

Perhaps he has saved OP from a dose of the trots!!

JamSlags · 27/08/2025 18:31

5foot5 · 27/08/2025 17:44

I immediately thought of the Dad and the Easter Eggs when I read this.

Selfish bastard!

It is annoying because the person with restraint, who doesn't just gobble up the tasty thing immediately but saves it to enjoy at a later time, is penalised by the greedy guts who puts their gratification above everyone else.

Particularly bad when it affects children as it might encourage binge eating, i.e. if I don't eat it immediately someone else might.

Ohhhhhhh there are many greedy scoffing DHs around these parts, as my username will attest.

ThejoyofNC · 27/08/2025 18:30

If you wanted it that badly you'd have eaten it in the first 2 days.

Calling his work over something so unimportant is unbelievable.

CunningPlanMaster · 27/08/2025 18:30

Sorry to derail but he looked up ‘moral compass’… on Yahoo!?