Does her DH have somewhere to land??

Men in my circle have all (but one) stayed in their long term marriages and seem very happy. My anecdotal evidence is from acquaintances, friends of friends, people I know of where I live and socialise.
Tbf, I don’t come across a huge number of people with addictions, drug use or alcohol misuse. Some have or have had MH issues, but they are addressed (by and large). So maybe my perspective is from a fortunate place, but maybe that means that the waters are less muddied and give a clearer picture of the contrasting behaviours between men and women at the end of a relationship?
I don’t know.
I think it’s fair to say that all of our judgments are heavily impacted by our personal experiences. That’s part of the joy of MN - you get to hear lots of differing views.

There's a lot of bitter women on here.

I cant believe that on this site of all sites, people think in this way. It is hilarious and sad.

Women leave because they've had enough. Men leave because they have a new woman and a warm bed to go to.

I mean, it's certainly possible but immaterial really. Tell her to get legal advice asap.

Or you know a certain type of man because of your social circles. As I said, most men I know who have left women did so because of things related to the woman's untreated mental health issues. That's because I come from a background where mental health is very stigmatised so people do not seek help and some things are normalised, like recreational drugs use and heavy alcohol consumption as well as people having a history of trauma which makes them more likely to have personality disorders.

People leave relationships for a range of reasons. If the men you know generally leave one miserable relationship for someone else, then I'd think about why the males in my circle are so dependent on relationships and women generally and want to ensure I raise my sons' differently. I'd be aware that their father is likely one of these men and I picked him. I wouldn't be on here assuming all men must be like the ones I know.

Tbh, I don’t stereotype about much, but leaving established relationships is one area I feel it is fair to do so, as the anecdotal evidence is simply too strong to ignore.

I would never ignore the fact that men and women are different though. That’s just science.

Sorry to hear about the cliche outcome.

I guess the ‘only’ saving grace in this situation is he’s taking action to split before (hopefully) an affair has started, although I wouldn’t be surprised ifs in the early stages of an EA.

As you say, disappointing.

Yeah, right. 🙄

According to OP who said he said nothing has happened.

The idea that men always do x and so women always do y is a huge part of the reason we have men who do y assuming they are women.

As I said in the other thread, it would really make sense if the members heredo have a disproportionate number of trans identifying children as was suggested, because the membership generally largely hold these incredibly rigid, gendered perspectives of the world and its inhabitants. They pass these onto their children and confuse them about who they are because they don't align with these stereotypes.

How unusual that you know so many men married to women with serious mental illness! In any case, that's why I said 'tend to'. One trend that is very common is the wife becoming asexual after menopause and the husband eventually looking elsewhere. The husbands would probably say the relationship ended well before the affair but they don't tend to actually leave until they have 'somewhere to land'.

Good for you for somehow having the tiny percentage of poor men and awful women in your friendship group.

Tell the that men and women are different? Think differently? Have different needs and priorities? Yes.
The trans lobby would disagree, but most people would think this is pretty obvious.

Posted before I saw your update. Knew it’d be another woman despite all the naysayers.

I too have never known a man jump without somewhere to land.

Sounds like an element of mid life crisis to be honest. Although that’s no excuse. Your poor friend.

And they were right.

Most men I know who have left did so due to what basically amounted to untreated mental health problems in their ex ranging from substance abuse to gambling issues to BPD.

Hope your friend is ok.

I’ve just done a head count, and about 75% of marriages we know which have broken up are because of the man’s affair. What has always struck me is that is invariably the absolutely gorgeous wife that gets cheated on. Make of that what you will.

Nah. He’s got somewhere to land. I’d bet a kidney on it.

People reacted to an OP saying why would this man none of you know want to leave his wife? Lots of people said he's having an affair based on the fact he's a man.

Women tend to leave long marriages because the husband is abusive, has cheated or is chronically lazy. Men tend to leave them because they are having an affair.

From your OP, there was no way of knowing that.

Seriously, do you bring up your kids telling them that this is how men are (and by default, women are the opposite?)