Does her DH have somewhere to land??

Btw, have you seen the thread on warning young girls/women about the ‘realities’ of marriage and having children?
If you want to see some proper gender stereotyping, head there!

As I said, it sounds like that's more about the men you know. Just like I happen to know a lot of disempowered women. Why do you think the men you know would never just leave a relationship that is unhealthy/unhappy? Have you considered that maybe they don't know that they can, or they don't recognise that they aren't in a relationship that helps them thrive?

Maybe that's why they have the pattern that you see. They genuinely don't know that they could be treated better/be happier/feel safer/feel loved until they experience it from a source that they really shouldn't and then they swap for that better situation. It isn't unlike the women I know, actually. But unfortunately the better situation is often just love bombing from a new abuser.

I think she probably already knows that, but was asking for opinions anyway.

Yes. The first would be used in an essay on the question. The second would be an informal response to an AIBU on MN.

Of course you/we CAN change. It’s just that many don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get where you are coming from, and I largely agree with you!

This is one particular scenario (the ending of a long term relationship) that I’ve noticed all too frequently though, the difference between the sexes and the predictability of men’s behaviour. I first noticed it about 30 years ago, and have yet to see a single man leave without somewhere to land. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Do you see there being any difference between:

a) "It's so common for a man to leave a marriage because there's another woman that it's become a cliche"

b) "Men only leave marriages when there's another woman"

Except that the guesses were predictably right.

No you really cant and this type of men are this way and women sre that way doesnt work outside of anatomy. It plays into the idea that if you aren't the way the rest of your sex are, you can change it so your mind fits your body.

Yet you kind of can!
Cliché’s are clichés for a reason. Have you never come across a situation and exclaimed ‘Typical!’? This is one of them.

It will help her to understand that a bunch of strangers cant guess the motivations and intentions of someone they don't know based on their sex.

I’d suggest that’s a super helpful phrasing to attain political correctness, but I’d hardly going to help the OP with her question.

I am not saying that men only leave their wives when they are mental though. I am aware that my experience isn't The Experience. I think people leave their spouses for varied reasons. You cant really group them, and especially not solely by gender.

See the women I know have been more inclined to do that simply because they believe they are nothing without a man. That's a sentiment that has been echoed when they've had unhealthy relationships. So they essentially leave one abusive man for another because they dont believe they can make it alone.

Yet you are (I think!) trying to tell me I’m wrong, presumably with evidence from YOUR world?
(Even though the updates from the OP confirm my theory in this instance?)

Unless MN wants to draft in scholars on each subject discussed on its fora, this place relies on people giving their own perspective and experience. None is superior to the other. They often differ because we all live in our own worlds, but the AIBU poll usually tells us what the most common experiences are. And we can only speak from our own experiences (unless we are indeed scholars in a particular subject).

except, we all predicted it and then it turned out to be true.

Cliches are often cliches for a reason.

Possibly so. All things are always possible. I am 60 so I have a bit of life experience simply because ive been around a long while. I worked as a teacher for 20 years and spent time with many women in many work places. I did lots of different jobs after leaving teaching and worked with bith nen and women. I'm retired now and have lots of time to join different groups, some very women centred, some mixed sex . I can honestly say that I have never met a man or the ex wife of a man who had left because he wanted to set himself up in a flat and live alone. I have met many women who either did that or who dreamt fondly of doing it . Every man left because he had someone else to go to. I am happy for you that your experience is different.

Typical. I don’t think I know of any man that didn’t leave without someone else lined up.

Right so you do understand that your experience of the world and the people you know aren't transferable to everyone? So surely the answer to a thread like this (the OP) should be "we can't possibly know as we know nothing about the man, or his wife, for that matter"

“Nothing has happened” Jesus, bet his nose grew off his face when he said that. Course it bloody has. Men really think women are so stupid don’t they 🤦🏻‍♀️

Er, yes. Like everyone on MN speaks from theirs.
I haven’t done a researched thesis on the subject, if that’s what you are asking. That’s why I called it ‘anecdotal’ evidence.

I don't think they are bitter, so much as they see their world as the world.

My anecdotal evidence is from acquaintances, friends of friends, people I know of where I live and socialise.

So people in your subculture/demographic/social circles, then?

Have you ever thought that has something you do with the people in your specific social circle? Like the men in your world are just like that.

My exhusband left for another woman.
My friends exhusband left for their babysitter ( who he'd got pregnant) .
My BIL left my SIL for her best friend.
My next door neighbour left his wife for the woman up the road.
My walking group leader's husband had 5 prostitutes on speed dial and left her for a work colleague .
I don't know a single exhusband of any woman I know who left without there being another woman already in place.
I know several women who divorced in their 50s . All were and still are single ( and very happy about it)

And yet still true.