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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most people would leave their partner if they knew they’d never be caught?

36 replies

ThatBluntCrow · 27/08/2025 14:03

So much of “commitment” seems tied to fear of consequences - divorce, shame, money. AIBU to think if people were guaranteed secrecy, loads more would walk away from their relationships?

OP posts:
BigBirdOfPrey · 27/08/2025 14:15

I don’t understand what you’re asking 🤷‍♀️
is not clear

Thundertoast · 27/08/2025 14:15

Yet another three word username thread with a two sentence goady OP.

ArtesianWater · 27/08/2025 14:14

The OP is badly worded but I agree that a lot of people end up in committed relationships that they are not really happy with and that serious commitments (children, homes, shared finances) are the reasons they don't leave. That's why marriage is a serious thing to go into.

somethingnewandexciting · 27/08/2025 14:14

ThatBluntCrow · 27/08/2025 14:03

So much of “commitment” seems tied to fear of consequences - divorce, shame, money. AIBU to think if people were guaranteed secrecy, loads more would walk away from their relationships?

What do you mean by being caught?
Plenty of men are bigamists, we know there are many but no incentive to stay with one family. Those who can't afford another whole house and the pretence of it all being perfect do leave and go on to have many children with various women. Not quite sure what your post means?

dogcatkitten · 27/08/2025 14:12

Most people contemplating divorce wouldn't want to walk away from their lives completely, and lose touch with children, parents, siblings and friends, or have to leave their jobs and move somewhere strange. A very few maybe.

DenizenOfAisleOfShame · 27/08/2025 14:12

I’m fascinated by the idea of secretly not being with someone.

I’m secretly not with Henry Cavill. Before that I secretly walked away from Brad Pitt.

Kuretake · 27/08/2025 14:12

I don't get it. So I leave my husband but nobody knows? Does (now ex)DH notice? The kids?

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 27/08/2025 14:09

Eh? You’re not making sense.

AI gone wrong?

Coconutter24 · 27/08/2025 14:07

Your question doesn’t make sense

Glassmatt · 27/08/2025 14:06

That question doesn’t really make sense. If you were asking “Would most people cheat if they would never be caught and it was guaranteed secrecy” that would make sense and I’d probably agree!

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 27/08/2025 14:04

No, you're being silly.

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