How do I plan this party?

I'm very surprised that you need to ask. No. You don't leave just one of the girls out. Absolutely no.
The End

It's only 2 being left out as one has something else already planned (away - so potentially on holiday doing something nice), so therefore if these girls are all friends and normally sit together/play together at school then it really is just 1 not part of something fun that weekend and knowing that they were not chosen.

I always think how would you feel if it was the other way round. @BirthdayPartyPooper if your daughter came home from school one Monday and said all the other girls had been to a party and were talking about it, would you feel that is ok as you know the venue has restrictions? Or if one of the mums contacted you to explain they can only take 8 children and your child hasn't been chosen and would be the only one not invited would you feel that is fair as she at least let you know.

If it was a bunch of mixed sex adults in an office and one person asked all the women to come for drinks except for one or two, would you find that ok? Cos I'd find it quite rude. The other girl can't make it anyway.

It's not something I'd do.

It's not the whole class unless the class is just those 10 girls (in which case it's different)

There is nothing wrong with not inviting everyone to everything so long as you don't just leave one person out all the time.

And it's not just one girl. It's 2.

You can’t possibly think this is ok. It’s absolutely horrible. Invite 4 girls and have a smaller party, or 5 girls and the rest boys or pick a different activity.

Or you're teaching her a complete lack of empathy towards others and basic manners that you don't exclude people.

I wouldn't allow this.

10 girls in the class means either find an activity that they're all invited to, or it's invite 5 at most.

Basic manners are something I don't allow my children to ignore.

I think it would be very upsetting to not invite just one of the girls. Does she have any other friends outside of school? So invite fewer school friends and other friends/family too? Or just make it smaller with a 4-5 children.

My son was 1 of 2 children left out of a class party a couple of years ago, there was 25 in the class and apparently the venue was 25 max and the birthday child has 2 cousins so 2 were selected to not be invited.
I still think the parents are arseholes.
I would not do this to a child.
We haven't done a whole class party since then, just a couple of close friends but if we do I know it will absolutely stick in my throat to invite that child but I'll do it anyway because I couldn't leave just him out.

Is she not friends with any boys? 5 girls and 3 boys would mean it’s not one girl excluded.

In fact, I’d be tempted to invite the 5 girls, if they all accept then 3 boys. If one declines, then the rest of the girls.

Presumably the whole class isn't just those 10 girls?

And you aren't leaving one girl out, you wouldn't have invited the other one either

If you tell her she can't do this because it doesn't included everyone but she doesn't want those girls there anyway you're basically teaching her she has to give up what she wants to please others

Absolutely do not do that!!! That poor child. Could you not allow 3-4 from the class and 1-2 from outwith? So that the only child doesn’t feel picked out? Or change the venue, don’t leave them out that would be really cruel x

How old are they?

And I say that as a parent who has never hosted a whole class party before when mine were younger

but that was 12/13/24 kids not coming

not ONE

I wouldn’t do the activity

I always tell my kids you can’t be invited to everyone’s party. Invite whoever you want. It’s normal and part of life to not get every invite.

Yes I would do as others suggest and only invite 4 others or change the activity to something everyone can go to. You say the party package is only for 8, but is this the same for any booking? E.g. they can technically have more in a session but are being funny about it being a party?

I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. It’s really unkind.
Find another activity or invite just a small group of 4 or 5.

Nope, I could not go through with that.

Leaving just one child out is awful.

Agree with the others - you could put date out to the parents first just to see whether there is anyone that can't make it before you book. Or just invite the four girls who your DD is closest to. Or find another party.

I know it's disappointing for your daughter but I don't think I could knowingly leave one child out - in such a small class it feels really mean.

Or you could play 'party roulette' and book it whilst keeping everything crossed that there is an illness / no show/ 'I forgot all about it' on the day but I wouldn't recommend that as a strategy!

Edited for typos.

Imagine your daughter was the one girl left out. That's awful.

Please don't do this its really cruel. Can you imagine how your dd would feel if it was her left out? Do a different party if you have to.

Definitely put the date forwarded and see what the response from the other parents is. It's unlikely you'll have a 100% rsvp rate. If it looks like you will, I'd change the activity.

Just have the party you want. You don't owe everyone an invitation

You can't leave just one girl out. Either invite a smaller number or go somewhere else. Or make it a mixed group of girls/boys.