Toddler is so draining. Constant screaming.

I would ditch the cot. Just keep him in your bed at night, or get him a big floor bed in your room or next door. then you can stay with him if you’re needed. I’m a mum of 3 small boys. Cot battles aren’t worth losing sleep over.

Just wandering if you have yet come out thee other end. My toddler is like this and has been since way before 1. He is now 17 months. It is litrerly all day every day over anything. Scream for something give it to him scream because he's got it. Screams for nappies. Screams when he can't have something. Screams when he can. Screams when toys don't exactly what he wants. Just consistent all day every day. I have lived with other kids his age who have not been like this at all. He is TOUGH!!

I'm wondering if your child is nuerodivergent. My son was like this as a toddler. He seemed relentless and it never stopped. Days upon days of screaming and crying. He was also entirely clingy all of the time. He's 9 now and the tantrums are still the same, although less crying. He's on the waiting list for asd testing.

I had one of these. Was so tough and tiring. However, he is now 6 and an absolute delight! Took him until about 4 to become a reasonable human being. No advice but it will get better and he will eventually sleep!x

Not saying he is but what you’ve described is pretty much what my nephew was like, turned out he was autistic. He’s now in his twenties and still needs one to one support as non verbal and unable to cope with most things. Just something to be aware of and perhaps look into if things don’t improve?

I picked up on something you said in your original OP

If he dosent get his own way he will just scream non stop until I give in

In my experience with my toddler who also likes to scream at the top of his lungs, if you give in, it reinforces this behaviour as your DC will know that if he screams and screams, mummy gives in.

Also agree with others, don’t say big boys don’t scream. I would calmly say “I can’t understand you? Can you use your words or point to wha you’d like”

2 of my 3 children did/do this. My eldest did it and it was due to speech delay and my youngest does it (again delayed speech but not as bad as my eldest was delay wise)
Telling them to 'stop screaming' wont work, your child is trying to communicate with you. Learn how to communicate back with him, speaking all the time doesnt always work, try Makaton signs (a huge thing that helped with my eldest)
Telling your child 'big boys dont scream' is only going to teach him that he has to keep his emotions bottled up.

It will pass but you have to put the work in.

Ooh and with eye contact. You need the eye contact. Somehow it makes them listen more.

I had a screamer. I used to put my hand over his mouth when he screamed and say “no” very firmly and sternly.
We would also leave somewhere interesting if screaming started.
You are sure there are no hearing issues or pain?
I found it really helped me to remember that I am the adult, that I had a stronger will than my toddler and that long term this would pay off when they were older by holding my ground and being strict. And in general it did.

I would also recommend Loop engage earplugs. They're a lifesaver. I'm very noise sensitive and wear these nearly all the time. You can still hear but it's filtered.

Also a big fan of this approach. Doesn’t always work but it’s helpful!

I had/have one of those. He still does it a bit at 3y 3m but since his speech has improved it’s a bit less and I don’t feel like throwing myself out the window as much as I used to.

My DS basically has two modes - happy and loving to the extreme - or the world is ending, screaming and tantrum. Sending all the sympathy, I know it’s so hard. We may investigate possible SEN down the road but there are little chinks of light these days so I’m hopeful we’re coming to the end of it.

When I had him on my own at that age (without his older very placid sister!) I often had AirPods in to distract from the insane overstimulation of the noise.

Expecting to try this technique again when we reach teenage years!

He's over tired and over stimulated. Get in a good sleep routine, and life will improve dramatically. I trained in Early Years many years ago and nearly all the behaviour problems we had were from over tired kids.

I didn't have many rules with ours, but the bedtime routine was set in stone and our DC always slept in their own beds.

When our DC was a toddler I followed advice to say ‘mummy can’t understand you when you say it like that’ (whining / screaming). I’d scrunch up my face, tilt my head like I was listening intently and then say ‘hmm, no, I still can’t understand. Can you say it again in a normal voice?’ It really worked.

Have you tried, no screaming, say ‘mummy I want the bread please’ etc ?

How is his speech and language understanding?

My little boy was sooo similar to this I used to call him a hurricane as the pure stress and destruction his presence would cause! When he turned 2 everything changed for me (i used to leave the room when he really wouldn’t stop) however he suddenly became calmer less emotional and less hysterical. The amount of times I used to cry and say my ears are hurting from all the screaming I can totally relate, but now he’s 4 and he’s the CALMEST boy, I changed nothing he just grew out of it. I know exactly how you’re feeling but from my experience it just faded away from 2 onwards!

What consequence does he get for screaming?

You need to teach him "indoor voices" and reward him when he uses a quiet voice.

Punishment for screaming and do not do what he wants - all you are doing is teaching him that screaming gets him what he wants. You need to put a stop to it now or he'll end up a very stubborn, spoilt child who will run rings around you.

Make sure that he asks nicely, calmly and quietly when he wants something. Give him lots of praise. Then a consequence, a firm no if he screams.

How are his words? My DD was awful for screeching until she was able to talk, it must have been frustration at being unable to express herself. Don't get me wrong, they all default to crying when they're overtired and mad, and can't connect the dots to saying what they want, ours still do years later. We found that telling her "use your words" and not engaging helped, and also sign language until she was able to get the words in place.

You said yorself '....until I give in'.

He knows it works. Sometimes it takes longer but he knows that eventually it will work. Holding the line is the only way. It gets worse before it gets better but the trick is to reward the good behaviour after he stops and no reaction at all to the screaming. No begging or hugging, no anger, just no reaction.

If no to a biscuit results in screaming, hold the No until he stops. Then would you like an apple or banana?

Takes a wee while but worth it.

There's nothing wrong with a 2 year old being pushed in a buggy. If it means you get a nice walk and some peace then do it - go somewhere where there are things for him to look at and have a nice time with him x

Does he do it with just you or with other people (e.g. nursery or CM) too?

Full sympathy.

Mine is 5 and still does this. The whining...all day, every day.
If I say no, wait, in a minute...they scream.
Playing a their game goes wrong/bricks break ect, screams.
Needs a drink...screams.
Tired...screams.

I have a permanent headache and am frankly miserable.
Their sibling is able to communicate their needs but this child's go to method is to scream.

So I really do feel for you. Unfortunately can't offer advice or solutions. Mine is being assessed through school by the sen teacher. We will see.